Blog # 10:
“First Love”
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I crossed-out from my list everything that had something to do with my heart. No bitterness or anything intended. I just wanted to enjoy my #MeTime and the rest of my college days. It was the last sem of my junior year. And I just plunged deeper on my studies and university activities. I became more active in my college org and enjoyed my time during the activities.
I was happy. Single, free, and happy.
I still loved reading books and watching Asian dramas. I came to enjoy the genre of romance and all the kiligs that went with it. I believed in fairy tales and happy-endings.
But I wasn’t keen on finding my own prince charming.
Sabi ko nga, masaya ako. Masaya ako sa buhay ko noong mga panahong iyon. Walang labis o walang kulang. Nag-eenjoy ako sa pagiging isang ordinaryong kolehiyala na single, walang commitment, at hindi ko rin naisip na mag-boyfriend.
May mga nagpaparamdam. May mga nag-attempt na lumapit. Pero hanggang doon lang sila. I became polite with them and kept a civil relationship until they assessed na hindi ako interesado. Sa totoo lang kasi, hindi talaga ako interesado. For one thing, nobody caught my attention. Walang sparks or whatever. Ewan. Or maybe, hindi lang talaga ako interesado.
Siguro ay sobrang nag-eenjoy lang talaga ako. And yeah, hectic ang schedule ko. Bukod sa madugong mga projects and requirements, I was really busy sa Student Journalists Society—ang org kung saan ako kabilang.
I had my mind set on my future career and the future lifestyle of a woman with single status. T’was true that there were so many what-ifs that came into my life, but I realized that maybe dapat lang talagang mangyari ang mga iyon for me to realize na masaya ako kung anong status ko that time.
At kahit busy sagad ako, naisisingit ko pa talaga ang pagbabasa at panunuod ng mga Asian dramas. Maybe weakness ko lang talaga ‘yung mga iyon. Feel na feel ko kasi everytime na nagbabasa ako o kaya nanunuod ng mga Asian dramas na ‘yun. Lalo na kapag nakakakilig ‘yung scenes tapos may background music?
But yeah, like I said, even though I loved fairy tales and happy-endings, I wasn’t keen or that much excited in finding my own Prince Charming.
So when he came, I never knew. That was why I regarded him as an evil antagonist instead.
Napaka-antagonistic kasi niya. He seemed to take an instant dislike on me. He was cold, harsh, and palagi niya akong binabara. Hindi ko alam kung anong problema niya sa akin, pero kung hindi ko lang talaga siya kasama sa org, hindi ko siya pakikisamahan.
Yes, we came from the same course and from the same org. Pero late ko na siya nakilala kasi he took a break from the org to focus on the basketball varisty team. He was already a senior, pero dahil sa pagiging demanding ng schedule niya sa varsity, he chose to take up irregular schedule. Not that I was interested kaya alam ko iyon. Naikuwento lang ng mga orgmates ko, because obviously, he was really popular not only in the court, but also in our org.
A lot of girls liked him. I didn’t. The first time I saw him, he was colder than the winter in Japan. He just gave me a cold look when we were introduced to each other. And when we bumped into each other inside the office, he would ignore my greetings.
Ayaw niya sa akin, period. At ewan ko kung bakit. Minsan nga eh naisip kong baka may atraso ako or anything sa kanya o sa mga kaibigan niya, pero sigurado naman akong wala. Basta ayaw niya lang talaga sa akin at ramdam ko iyon.
