Always (Sequel to 'Maybe', a Thomas Brodie-Sangster fanfiction)

Chapter 4

I don't know if it was the smoke that made my eyes water or the fact that Thomas was definitely in that alleyway, smoking and drinking beer. Looking like he doesn't have a care in the world. I almost step out of the safety of my car, when one of the men point to me. "Hey baby, you wanna come join us for some fuuunn?" the man slurred. I guessed that Thomas was either too drunk or didn't recognize me, because he kept laughing and smiling at his drinking buddies. Hurt and disgusted, I drove away. I felt a tear fall down my cheek. How could Thomas do this to himself? To me?

I arrived back at the apartment that would only be ours for another week until we had to pack up and leave. Where would we go? We'd hoped to buy a house eventually and raise a family. We can't even afford another apartment to stay in at this point, nonetheless a house. For all I know, Thomas probably spent all the money he earned before he got fired on drugs and beer. No wonder we couldn't keep up on bills. I curled up into a fetal position on the couch. Rage and hurt surged through my body, along with tears flowing down my cheeks. They landed on the couch with a soft thump.

How long had this been going on? Is that the reason he was fired? Why? Questions jumbled in my head that I desperately wanted answered, but I wasn't even sure if I could meet eyes with him anymore. Those nights he got home late were probably because he was drinking with his buddies. I wish he would've talked to me about it if something was wrong. I understand he was fired, but it seems like his drinking problems existed before that.

Some nights he'd come home late, eyes red, tired. Staggering a little. I just told myself that it was work. I didn't want to believe it was alcohol. Or the night when he announced he was fired. He was very aggressive and seemed a little disoriented. He probably drank during work, the boss found out, Thomas was drunk and said things, then boom. Fired. It's ironic because Thomas would always ramble on about how drugs and alcohol is bad for you, and here he is doing it.

I hear a knock at the door, and I get up from the couch. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to approach Thomas on the fact that he was smoking and drinking. Is he even himself anymore? Have drugs and alcohol taken over his life now? I hear a second knock and face the door. I have to answer it. I slowly walk over and reach for the door.

Ever so slightly I twist the knob, and the door silently swings open. Rachel. Oh, how glad I am to see her. She stands, smiling. The pain hurts too much. I have no choice but to pull her into a hug. For a moment the pain in my chest goes away, and it's replaced with comfort. But it lasts for only a second. Tears start to form in my eyes. "Rachel, I've missed you so much," I say, my voice laced with tears. "I've missed you too," she replies with a gentle smile, then meets my eyes, "What's wrong?"

I invite her in to tell her everything. I tell her about Thomas and his behavior, him losing his job. Seeing him smoking and drinking in the alleyway, and how we received an eviction notice. "Oh, Brooke. I'm so sorry," Rachel says, her voice filled with empathy. "I'm sure my husband and I wouldn't mind if you two stayed at our place for a few weeks until you got everything settled?"

Rachel and her husband make very good money. Rachel works as a nurse, and her husband is a police officer. I hate to admit it, but I get a bit jealous when I see pictures of them together on Facebook, with their fairly large house in the background. Makes me wish Thomas and I could have been that way.

"Thanks for the offer Rachel, but I can't ask that of you," I say sincerely. Rachel waves her hand in the air. "No, it's fine, really. You and Thomas can share the other master bedroom, but please tell him not to-" she pauses, as if it wasn't appropriate to say at the time. But I get what she means. No drugs or beer. I almost forgot they had an 8 month old child. Not to mention cigarette smoke stinks.

I sigh, ultimately giving in. I didn't want us to be a burden towards her and her family, but I had no other choice. "Well, if it's okay with you, then alright," I say. Rachel smiles. She checks the clock. "Oops, gotta run. The mister will be home soon," she stands up and places her hand on my shoulder, "Again, I'm really sorry." I stand up and hug her. I'm so lucky to have Rachel in my life. She steps back, and pulls out an envelope from her purse. "I almost forgot to give this to you," she says with a slight smile. She leaves and it's just me alone again. I open up the envelope. Inside are pictures of us from highschool. So many missed memories. I smile at many. But my smiles cannot stop the fact that the clock ticks and ticks; and eventually, one of those ticks will mark Thomas standing behind that door, where I'll confront him about his actions, and possibly our future.