Always (Sequel to 'Maybe', a Thomas Brodie-Sangster fanfiction)

Chapter 5

Tick, tick, tick. That's all I hear. My eyes scan the clock hanging on the wall. Its mocking pattern chants on and on. My heart beats furiously as I wait for Thomas to get here. It feels as if it's going to pop out of my chest and land right on the carpet, making a loud thud. At least it'd be a different sound other than the ticks of the clock.

I rest my head into my clammy hands. I need to relax. Why am I getting so nervous? This is Thomas. The one I've known for years. My best friend. Husband. But does that Thomas even exist anymore?

I suddenly hear a knock at the door, jolting me up from the couch. That has to be him. I compose myself and walk over to the door. Without hesitating, I open it. Thomas is leaning against the doorway, completely out of it. His eyes, which are just barely open, are bloodshot. His cheeks are red, and I can smell the cigarette smoke radiating off of him.

I am at a loss for words. He stumbles into the apartment, almost into me, but I quickly move out of the way. He luckily keeps his balance and plops onto the couch. I close the door behind me. "Thomas?" I ask, not bothering to hide the disgust in my voice. He lifts up his head that was lulled to the side, and fails to make eye contact with me. "Why yes love?" he slurrs.

Tears start to form in my eyes, and I struggle not to let them fall. "Why?" was all I could say. His head lulls back to the side, and starts to laugh. I sit on the couch beside him. I think of another question. "How did you get yourself home?" I ask. His head turns towards me, and his eyes meet mine. They're distant. You are not the Thomas I married.

He replies with more slurs, along with childish laughter. "A good pal gave me a ride home," he says. His lips move a fraction, as if he was trying to say something else, but he pauses and just continues to laugh. I get up from the couch. He'll be easier to talk to in the morning, when he isn't so drunk.

I read a book until I hear that the drunk noises he had produced stop. I check on him. He's sound asleep on the couch. I give off a weary smile. For a moment he looks like his old self. Quick, calm breaths. His chest slowly rising up and down. His peaceful look. And that hair. Perfectly swayed to the side. And his lips. Those soft lips that were once joined with mine. And Haley's, and Bella's, and the beer bottles.

I snap back to reality. But before I exit the room, I slowly walk over to Thomas. After everything he has done, I can't resist. I walk over to his sleeping self and lightly kiss him on the cheek. And I whisper, I love you no matter what.