Brave Hearts

Kabanata 16

Kabanata 16

I only wished for a simple and happy life, ang hiling ko lang naman ay maging mapayapa, ang magising sa bawat umaga at maging masaya kasama ang aking Nanay pero bakit ganito naman?

I never want to question God and his plans for me but...there will always a time where your faith will start shaking.

Bakit naman po ganito, panginoon? Bakit ako nahihirapan ng ganito?

"G-gusto ko lang naman po ng k-kaibigan, gusto ko lang po maging masaya..." I whispered in air while I was alone inside the chapel where I decided to hide and cry silently.

I was kneeling in the side but my knees weakened and I felt myself melting like an ice while staring at the altar kaya bumagsak ako at napaupo.

"H-help me, God..." I whispered painfully. "I-I feel so lost..."

I touched my chest and felt it tightening, medyo bumibilis na ang paghinga ko para maghabol ng hininga at sa takot na mahimatay ako ay pinilit kong ikalma ang sarili kahit nanghihina na.

Thankfully, no one entered the chapel where I decided to stay after I left Heart.

I believed them, sobrang nagpasalamat akong may mga totoo na akong kaibigan pero...bakit naman gano'n?

I liked her so much, she was like the sister I never had. She said she'll be my human shield... pero bakit ngayon ako ang nasasaktan habang iniisip na kahit kailan ay 'di siya naging totoong kaibigan?

I trusted her...and Atlas too. I did love him, kahit mahirap at 'di kaya ng puso ko, kinaya nitong mahalin siya.

He is the man I wished to be with me until the end, he made me feel like I am something but in the end, he made me realized I was nothing.

I feel so bad about myself for not having a better judgment, if only I got contented being alone, sana ay 'di ako masasaktan ng ganito.

I rested my back on the wall, slowly hugging my knees as I stared at the replica of the almighty in the altar.

"H-hindi ko alam kung anong plano mo," I whispered as if he could hear me from above. "I-I trust you but please...I'm so lost, give me strength to be brave."

Nakalabas na ako ng CSU na madilim na, hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal na nagtago at nagmukmok. Paglabas ay kitang-kita ko ang papalabas na buwan na natatakpan ng ulap.

The weather is gloomy, madilim, maulap, walang buhay kagaya ko.

"O-oh, Amalia? Bakit ngayon ka lang?" ani ng guard nang makita akong palabas sa exit.

I was shocked but I flashed a small smile at him, mabuti na lang din at hindi na masyadong namamaga ang mata ko.

"U-uh, may inasikaso lang po." Marahang sabi ko.

"Oh? Napagabi ka, ah? Kanina ka pa hinahanap ng mga kaibigan mo..." aniya at natahimik ako.

"S-sino po?" I asked.

"Uh, sina Heart?" aniya sa akin at humapdi ang puso ko roon sa kanya at napailing.

"Gano'n po ba?" marahang hinawi ko ang buhok at matamlay na ngumiti. "Magandang gabi po, uuna na ako..."

"Sige, hija. Okay ka lang? Tamlay mo, ah?" aniya kaya mas nilakihan ko ang ngiti at tumawa pa.

"Ayos lang po ako," I said.

"Sige, samahan na kita magtawag ng tricycle at gabi na." He smiled kindly and I thanked him.

He was kind enough to come with me while I wait for the tricycle, nang makasakay ay magalang akong kumaway.