Tortured Uchiha [CURRENTLY EDITING]

Familiarity

I found myself in a cell, something I’d spent three years trying to forget. I was in the same situation as last time, but with the exception that I was chained to the wall with shackles, even around my neck so I had limited head movement. I had no idea how I got here, the last thing I remembered was Itachi staring at me in disbelief―I should’ve known better, instead of allowing myself to pass out I should’ve run again…that’s what I do best after all. 

I chased Shisui down the main street of the village and watched as he raised his knees high to excel his pace. His chest doubled in size and he blew out short yet fast breaths, his arms pumping to keep him going.

“Still too slow Shi–Kun!” I flipped over the gutter on the roof of an apartment three blocks ahead of Shisui. I slowed down when Shisui hunched over with his hands on his knees, shielding his eyes when he looked up at me.

“[puff] E…Etsuko [puff], why are we [puff] running again?” Shisui gripped his side and winced.

“How else are you going to win at hide-and-seek, hn?” I raised my maroon bandana so I could scrub the sweat from my brow away with my forearm.

“Not by running around,” Shisui pouted at me, “shouldn’t we wait for Dobe?”

“No,” I shook my head and then tried to hide my blush beneath the high collar of my shirt. Shisui noticed and appeared on the gutter next to me in a cloud of smoke. Without saying a word, he pressed the palm of his hand against my cheek and frowned.

“You seem feverish, I think you should take a nap,” Shisui raised an eyebrow when I pulled the collar up higher to disguise the flare in my cheeks. “Uh, Etsu–Chan I think six laps on the village is enough for one day.” 

“No–no–no I insist, c’mon I’ll even give you a piggy back,” I gushed.

Shisui cocked his head to the left and stared at me for a few minutes, his black eyes seemed to absorb my features before he gave a tentative smile and tightened the hitai-ate around his forehead. I didn’t understand what he was smirking at until he threw me over his shoulder and grabbed my legs so he was giving me a piggy back.  

I squealed, causing a few civilians to glance over their shoulders at us. It wasn’t a scream of terror, but a giddy cheer that left me almost as breathless as Shisui. Did he finally understand that I loved him? Was this his hint that he liked my company? I threw my hands around his shoulder for stability and whooped for joy at the thought of being closer to Shisui than simply being teammates. 

“Why are you giving me a piggy back?” I called down to him as Shisui jumped over a cart of apples, still toting me on his back.

“Because you’re sick,” Shisui averted his eyes, “and I want to take care of you.”

A tear slid down my cheek at the thought of Shisui, I was stupid to think that he survived the fall into the Naka River, that he’d find me after all this time and say he loved me too, but where did that leave me at Itachi? What about my feelings for him? Was I simply denying love for Itachi because I still helplessly clung onto Shisui or was it that I was simply afraid of being tossed away?

As much as I hated to admit it, but I missed Shisui, I yearned for him, I wanted to re-live that one last embrace because that was the last time anyone had condoned me and saw me as an actual person.

Itachi was never there to show me love, gratitude, forgiveness. Despite that, Itachi and Shisui shared one common factor―they tortured themselves; they put their own lives and welfare below everyone else’s. I hated them for it, but I couldn’t help but love them for their selflessness. I suppose they became selfish from their selflessness, because they tore themselves from my life without even consoling me over it.