butterflies [ yungblud ]

35. drunk on wine

trigger warning; self harm (not detailed. no one hurts themselves. its just mentioned a couple times)

Ellijah was drunk. again. after he apologised to Dom over the phone and slept for fifteen hours afterwards, Ellijah had managed a streak of three days without drinking a single drop of alcohol (only he chainsmoked at least 3-4 packs of cigarettes), then he got a call from the prison his father had gotten himself thrown into seven years ago. he almost didn't answer, but the more the phone rang, the more he realised he hasn't spoken to his father in almost five years, so he picked up.

"is this Ellijah Altmann?"

"yeah, its him. what's going on?"

"Tobey Altmann has passed away due to a heart attack. we're going to need you to come down to the prison as soon as you can."

Ellijah had stuttered out a reply -- "u-um, i'll be there tomorrow- tomorrow morning" -- after a long moment of trying (and failing) to process that his dad was dead before hanging up and doing what he does best. he got drunk. he found a few bottles of wine stashed away at the back of his fridge (probably Eleanor's -- not any more) and drank the alcohol straight from the bottle. he could not be fucked using a glass.

he started on his third, and final, bottle of wine almost two hours after cracking open the first. he'd migrated from the kitchen floor to the balcony couch sometime through the second bottle, and had been watching the sunset for the past half an hour. it was dark, now, though. so his view was of London covered in lights both dull and bright.

Ellijah leant over the edge of the couch and grabbed his phone from the floor and tapped around until the phone was dialling Dom.

"yeah?" he sounded like he'd just been woken up, and Ellijah felt a little guilty for waking him up from his nap.

"my dads dead," Ellijah croaked out and tears welled in his eyes for the first time since he got the news. he'd spent the past two hours refusing to admit to himself that his dad was gone, and now that he's finally admitted it he just wanted to cry and hurt himself. seven years clean and he wanted to go into his bathroom, grab a razor and slice perfect lines like he used to into every bit of clean skin.

"oh, shit," Dom sounded wide awake now. there was some shuffling in the background, and a quiet bang noise followed by a fuck before Dom was speaking again, "are you- are you okay?"

"no," tears started slipping down his flushed cheeks, and he sniffled, "i'm drunk, a-and thinking about hurting myself and i don't know how to handle death, D. i don't have any family to die to know how to handle it. mums side disappeared when mum passed, and all i have on dads side is his sister and her two kids, who moved to Seattle not long after dad got thrown into prison and haven't contacted me since. sorry, i'm ranting, i-i'm just trying to distract myself from completely breaking down and hurting myself."

"Dom! get your ass out of bed and down here. we're late!" Ellijah heard the loud voice of Adam in the background, and Ellijah closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the couch cushions.

"hold up! in the middle of something important!" Dom yelled back, Ellijah grimaced and pulled the phone away from his ear, "sorry if that was loud. um, is there anything i can do to help you keep your mind off of things, baby?"

"no. no, its okay," Ellijah shook his head. Dom was busy, and according to Adam, late. Ellijah wasn't important enough to hold Dom back from something possibly tour related. "i'll call one of the boys or something," he wasn't calling anyone. he was planning on drinking enough bourbon to give himself alcohol poisoning.

"are you sure, Eli? i can stay on the phone until you go to sleep, or something. my meeting can wait, babe."

"i'm positive." he wasn't. he wanted Dom to stay on the phone until he fell asleep. wanted Dom to tell him stories about his childhood and teenage years. he wanted Dom. wanted to kiss him and just have him there in his arms or be in his arms.

"okay. alright. drink some water, go have a tub, hop into bed, maybe put on a movie or something. want me to call one of the boys for you? Eleanor, even?"

Ellijah's eyes closed as more tears escaped them. Dom was too good for him. too good for someone broken like he is. too good for an alcoholic like he is. too good for a depressed fool like he is. Dom deserved someone better than Ellijah.

"no. i'm okay," his voice cracked and wavered during the three short words and he winced to himself because he didn't sound convincing at all.

"Dom! lets go!"

"fuckin' hell, i'm coming!" Ellijah had to pull the phone away from his ear again as Dom screamed back at Adam. "are you one hundred percent sure you're okay?"

"yeah, babe. i'll have a tub and watch some movies with Big Kahuna," although his original plan was to drink twice his body weight in his most expensive alcohol, soaking in a warm soapy bath and catching up on some of the new movies recently added to Netflix sounded nice.

"and drink some water, too!"

"yes. i'll drink some water, too. love you," and Ellijah hung up. he sat, staring out at London for a minute or four, before standing and hobbling his way inside, phone in hand and wine bottle long forgotten on the balcony floor.

his second movie (Chucky) was forty two minutes from finishing when the front door opened and closed. being too caught up in hiding himself from the upcoming jump scare, he didn't take any notice to it.

he peaked his eyes out the covers to watch the screen, not noticing Eleanor stood in the doorway of his bedroom, leaning against the trim with crossed arms. once the jump scare had passed, Eleanor cleared her throat and Ellijah let out a loud "fucking christ," and pressed his hands to his forehead to calm himself down.

"if that was payback for fucking your boyfriend i'm suddenly sorry for doing it," Ellijah grunted as Eleanor plopped herself down on the bed and paused the movie.

"it wasn't. i saw an opportunity and took it," Eleanor grinned smugly and Ellijah rolled his eyes before asking what she was doing here. Eleanor rested her head on Ellijahs stomach. "your boyfriend asked us to check on you. we were halfway back from Donny when he called, otherwise we would've been here a couple hours ago."

"where is Louis?" Ellijah asked as he began threading his fingers through Eleanor's hair, noticing that Louis wasn't with them.

"in the car. he fell asleep about an hour ago," Eleanor stayed silent for a minute, before turning so she could look at Ellijah, "why'd Dom ask us to check on you?"

"he didnt tell you?"

Eleanor shook her head, "only that you were freaking out a little and was drunk"

"my dad passed away. had a heart attack. i've drunken three bottles of wine in two hours, and told Dom i was thinking about cutting in a drunk rant."

"shit, Eli, are you okay?" Ellijah and Eleanor looked up to the door and spotted a sleepy but worried Louis stood there. Ellijah smiled softly at his friend and nodded.

"i'll be okay. 'm still seven years self harm free. yay," he said unenthusiastically, shaking his hands in the air sarcastically to mimic what you'd do when saying 'hooray', "i must be doing something right."

Louis approached the bed and plopped down like Eleanor did, resting his head on her stomach and hugging her, "okay, Eli. i'm going back to sleep. wake me up if i'm needed," within a few minutes Louis was snoring into Eleanor's stomach with Eleanor weaving her fingers through his hair.

"you excited to go on tour with Dom soon?" Eleanor asked quietly. Ellijah smiled at the thought of being able to spend ten months travelling the world with the person he's in love with. the person he hoped to someday marry and adopt a couple kids with.

he responded with a giddy "yeah."

(unedited)

a/n new cover new cover new cover
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