No Longer a Monster | Chenji

Chapter 2:

"Chenle?"

Jisung tries to look closer and it is indeed Chenle. Of course, he regrets everything he must've done wrong to him but... he doesn't really remember much of it. Because of his medical treatment, Jisung's bad memories were most likely just a "blur".

Although, he still remembers his horrible past intentions of killing Haechan.

... and he suffers every day because of it.

"... I didn't know we'll see each other again, I guess?"

Chenle says, completely ignoring Jisung after he sits down at the dining room. There was definitely awkward silence filling in the room as Haechan tries to break the silence with a little "talk".

"... So... Since Jisung's back from the hospital, I actually planned on announcing him as the prince once again. I know it takes like thirty days before the royal council finally declares he's the prince again so... I'm going to have to make you tell me suggestions or else..."
"... Or else what?"
"I will... Um... I will... Damn it. I really can't do anything about it."
"... Haechan... You're literally the king-"
"WELL, I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT!"
"Since when were you even straight?-"
"NOT THE TIME, JAEMIN."

Haechan cuts Jaemin's words off as he sighs, thinking of a fair decision. Even if Haechan's mindset turned more positive, it was still hard for him when Renjun left. Renjun most likely did all of the thinking when he was still there.

He always wished that Renjun was still there.

"... Any suggestions now?"
"... Actually, you can do whatever you want. I mean, it's only been a day and Jisung looks pretty good and alright."

Jeno responds, giving Jisung a smile as Haechan gives Jisung a look before nodding. Then, a servant comes in and walks towards Mark. What was the news for Mark?

"Your highness?"
"Which one?"

Haechan asks, fighting back a smile when he realizes that Mark is married to him. Mark sighs, facepalming as he couldn't escape Haechan's terrible gay jokes about having two kings in one kingdom... which was about the two of them.

"... What is it, Beomgyu?"

Haechan asks with a much appropriate facial expression.

"I was referring to your husband, your highness... but I think you also need to hear about the news-"
"What news?"
"... Your husband's parents sent a letter."

Beomgyu says with a frustrated look, resulting in Mark sigh loudly. Mark was also frustrated about it as he remembered that his parents never knew anything about what happened.

His parents just found out that he's a king in this kingdom and that he's basically married to a man.

"Hand me the letter."

Mark orders as Beomgyu immediately hands him the letter from his parents. As Mark reads the letter carefully, Jisung tries to approach Chenle but everything he does just never works. Jisung really wanted to apologize to Chenle about everything could've done to him but Chenle didn't want an apology.

He wanted his friend back.

He still misses Renjun.

"Chenle-"
"Can you just stop trying?"

Chenle finally breaks his silence as his certain actions caught everyone's attention.

"... I just want to-"
"You want to apologize, right? You can but can you bring him back? You can't. Your apology will never bring Renjun back, Jisung. It's useless so... just stop."

Chenle says before leaving the dining room for privacy. Jaemin knew that it was time for him to help Chenle out as he knows that Chenle was having a hard time seeing the man who was the reason of Renjun's death.

"Hey- HEY?! What happened out there?-"
"You don't understand, Jaemin! It still hurts! Imagine seeing the man who manipulated you and basically killed your own friend. How in the world would you feel?!"
"Look, calm down. Take deep breaths, then we'll talk-"
"I'm done with this fake friendly act, Jaemin. It just makes me feel like I'm not true to myself."

Chenle says, fixing his collar before opening the gate.

"I don't want to see him... I can't see him..."
"Well, what if he changed already? It's been a year, Chenle-"
"Look, I know him more than you do. You have to watch your back when you're near him, Jaemin... I don't want you to end up like Renjun."

Chenle wanted to protect Jaemin, his closest friend among all of them. Chenle literally tells himself every day that he will never make the same mistake ever again.

He still thinks it's his fault that Renjun died.

He leaves the palace as Jaemin sighs, feeling sorry about how Chenle felt. As he walks back into the dining room, he noticed that Mark and Haechan already left while Jisung was still trying to finish his breakfast without feeling bothered about the whole situation.

"... Was it because of?-"
"Obviously... I just feel bad about everything I could've done to him."
"... What do you mean 'you could've'?"
"..."
"... Is there something going on?"

Jeno asks Jisung as he tries to figure out how to comfort his brother.

"Look... I don't remember a lot of the past things that I've done because... it's kind of like... a part of my treatment? My doctor always told me to forget everything I've done so that I don't feel the urge to do things like that again but those past thoughts are still in my head and it's... it's really hard to forget them all at once even if I don't really want to hurt anybody at all."
"... Do you do something to distract yourself from it?"
"I do but... I can't do it here-"
"Why not?"
"Because it's... it's embarrassing."
"... Alright but... feel free to do whatever it is to calm you down if you feel like that."

Jisung didn't want to tell his brother that he sings when he's feeling "down".

Meanwhile, Chenle comes back to the orphanage just so he can distract his thoughts with loads of work. All that Chenle does were writing storybooks that are suitable for humans and elves, checking each of the orphans' attendance, and talking to the people who wanted to adopt children.

After he finishes working for the whole day, he goes back to his room and writes down through his diary.

[ "Everything hurts. Seeing the man who hurt Renjun hurts and I hate feeling hurt. I hate these feelings that I always feel. Why do you have to come back to my life, Jisung? Out of all people, why did it have to be you?" ]

Chenle writes into his diary as he looks outside of the window, admiring the great view of another starry night. He definitely tried to accept that Jisung is now a changed person but after everything he had done to him in the past made him feel terrible about himself.

"Why does it have to be like this, Jisung?"

He asks, lying down on his bed as he tries to not think about the situation. As Chenle drifts into his sleep, Jisung was still in his room as he starts walking around in circles.

He was still definitely bothered about what happened earlier.

"What should I do? What should I do?"

He asks himself, still trying to figure out what he should do to prove himself to Chenle that he's no longer a bad man.

There, he sees Jaemin once again.

"... Um... What are you doing?"
"You're being bothered again. Aren't you?"