No Longer a Monster | Chenji

Chapter 6:

"... Did you think that this was the end of our friendship?"
"Why do you value friendship too much? People will leave you anyways so... I don't get why you value it so much... like what do you get from being friendly? Expecting strangers to stay by your side for a bit only for them to leave you because of this thing called 'purpose'?"
"... Well... Just like happiness, I value friendship because it's something I don't have on a daily basis... Maybe you should think about that, Chenle."

Jisung tells him, giving him a shrug since Chenle never understood why he values friendship too much. Chenle started to hate what friendship is because he lost Renjun. Chenle hated it when the people around him were happy while he just sat there... still thinking about Renjun.

Of course, he remembered the last moments he had with Renjun.

That memory kills him inside every day as he felt like everybody in the universe hated him. First, he fell into Jisung's manipulation towards him. Second, he lost his only elf friend who he escaped with. Third, he still remembered what Renjun told him the day he left.

He just couldn't move on from it.

He wanted to save him so badly. He wanted to see him again so badly. He wanted to turn everything back to normal but he couldn't because it's too impossible. All of this happened because of a man's jealousy towards his brother.

"... What if I can't think about that? You know, it breaks me. You never know how much I wished I was you, Jisung."
"... How so?"
"... You've got a loving family with you, you've got friends with you, you somehow feel happy, and you don't remember most of the bad times... Oh, how I wished I was you..."

Chenle scoffs, giving Jisung a sad smile as he rests his back against his chair. Jisung tilts his head with a frown, thinking about what Chenle told him before he even responds.

"Well, you've always got a friend in me. You have Jeno, Haechan, Mark, Jaemin, the orphans here, and I as your family... There's only two of it left and if you somehow decide to try and get to know me, then you'll somehow find happiness in the future."
"... But I don't trust you, Jisung."

Chenle bluntly answers with a frown.

"... Well, it's your choice anyway. Trust me or not, just try and understand me... I'm already fine with that."

Jisung answers, smiling at Chenle as he looks outside of the window. Jisung notices that the skies were already turning dark, remembering that he should go home after a long day with Chenle.

"Well, it's getting dark. I should probably head home now."
"... Now? It's barely dark-"
"Aw, you want me to stay?"
"... What do you even gain from this?"
"I'm sorry."

Jisung quickly apologizes before waving goodbye at Chenle and leaving his office. For some reason, Chenle felt bad since he was aware that he treated Jisung... pretty much like how a bully would treat their victim. Chenle kind of figured out that Jisung was just trying to form a friendship but he... just had to be a little bit of an ass.

Chenle felt bad and he regrets making Jisung feel bad about himself.

Of course, he wanted to apologize but Chenle knew that Jisung was one of the reasons why he's angry at the world... so he chose not to because Chenle became a bit petty. As Chenle looked at the view outside, Jisung and Beomgyu were already on their way to the palace. Jisung notices that the sky was purple and he definitely loved it.

Skies turn prettier when it's been a long, wonderful day.

"Hey, Beomgyu."

Jisung takes a pause at walking as the servant turned to look at him.

"Yes, your highness?"
"... Have you ever thought of something you wished you had?"
"... Well... I have a lot of stuff- What is it specifically, your highness?"

When Beomgyu asked that question, a long talk about "missing a certain person" started. The two of them went into a "private carriage ride" as Haechan was already the king and that he could provide all of the services for his family.

"Hmm... For a... loved one? Or a partner? Have you ever felt like you lost someone you liked?"
"... Well, I didn't have a partner or a loved one before... Have you, Beomgyu?"
"... I... Well... I was friends with this boy-"
"Boy?"

Jisung asks with confusion, later realizing that he was in fact talking to someone who isn't straight.

"... Oh! I apologize if I have offended you-"
"Your highness, you don't have to apologize. It's completely alright."
"... Well, will you continue the story about you and the boy?"
"Of course, your highness."

Beomgyu smiles at him before continuing his story.

"This boy I met was... a bit masculine? But we... well... we became friends anyways and after a long time, he finally told me he was... gay. Of course, I didn't know that I was the same and I... ended our friendship because I thought being that way isn't right until he found someone new and I... was in love with him."
"Wow... That's really tragic... Are you alright now?"
"Of course, your highness. I'm doing fine."

Beomgyu tells Jisung as he looks at Beomgyu, feeling sorry for him.

"... Is there someone you like, your highness?"
"... There is- Oh."

'No, Jisung. It's not Chenle. You're definitely not in love with Chenle. Stop it.', Jisung thought as he shakes his head in response.

"I don't really like... anyone at the... moment."

Jisung says as Beomgyu nods. After a while, the two of them finally walk into the kingdom. It was already dark and it was such a starry night. This caused Jisung to take a pause and admire the beauty of the skies.

To him, it felt magical.

As the reached the palace, Jisung sees a visibly stressed Mark who was currently and desperately trying to find all of the herbs inside the palace with his friend, Jaemin, and Jisung's mother, Areum.

Of course, it led Jisung to think about what was happening.

"... Is everything going alright?-"
"Haechan's having chills."

Jaemin answers as the four them, later, barged into Haechan's room. Of course, they brought all of the tea mixtures that Mark tried last year in case something like this would happen. Jisung sees Haechan, clearly shivering and feeling nothing but "cold" in his bed.

"Haechan?- Haechan, what's happening?!"

Jisung panics, feeling the coldness of Haechan's hand.

"I don't know... it feels so cold."