My Mute Crush

An Epiphany

Zhan’s POV

I want to cry. But, not because of him, it’s because of my delusion of who he were, is shattered by the reality of who he is. Though my mind swayed at the fact of his truth, my heart still choose to side with him. However, it’s still now. Aside from the waves of grievances, I doubt if it’s still full of love for you. Although I cannot erase his existence from it, I will try my best to supress his everything at the bottom of endless ocean of my feelings.  

Without waiting for Jiang Cheng to catch up with me, I ambled my way out towards the main door. I do not want to spend time here after sighting the thing which I shouldn’t have. I knew, I knew right from the start that I am not meant for him. He is straight after all.

Despite of bitter truth of reality, I stuck to my delusionary world, thinking that one day, at least one day I may have some chance. That, one day he will see me as his confidant. However, even if that’s meant to be happen, I do not want it. I cannot see him with others. Its hurts.

The moment I stopped near Jiang Cheng car, I can hear muffled voices from the adjacent car. Coming over the predicament of turning around or not, I finally decided not to turn around and let the couple continue enjoying their moment.

“Ahhhhh I like it. I want more.. ahhhhh” feminine voice comes out from the car. In the midst of dimly light parking lot, the only evident of presence of living soul was the muffled moans which were making their ways out from the car. Without my permission, my eyes stubbornly fell on the car parked beside.

Pang

Something inside of my heart broke the moment my eyes landed on it.

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It’s his car. The car by which he came to pick me up today! That means the person in

“Show me what you can do. Give me the kind of pleasure which I won’t be able to forget for days.” The deep huskier voice coming out from it shattered my heart.

It’s him. There can’t be anyone but him. The owner of this car, the owner of the deep husky voice, the owner of my heart; it’s him.

I want to wail, and let out my emotions right here. I cannot bear the pain of witnessing these scenes. Watching him with different girls at his University was enough for me to end up with sleepless nights. However, I cannot cry my heart out. He will be notified if I make any sound.

I was about to walk out from there when I heard a familiar voice.

“You should’ve waited for me Zhan. Come on, get inside.” Jiang Cheng said while coming up from the opposite side of the parking lot. Guess he came out from back door after saying goodbye to his friend.

Without any delay, the moment he unlocked the car door, I quickly got in. I don’t want him to notice the activity going on in adjacent car.

He glanced at me inquisitively before starting the engine.

“What’s wrong with you? I know you saw something you shouldn’t have, but that’s the fact. It’s the reality of him. That’s the reason I asked you not to be with him. It’s for your own good. Stay away from him. The further, the better! You won’t get hurt if you don’t have any encounter with him.” He tried to keep his points. A valid points though! And I have to accept, what he is trying to convey is apparently the reality.

The place where I was strengthening the ray of hope, has finally been shattered into tiny pieces. There is no longer a place when I can again build up my fantasy bubble.