Not your average soc

Chapter 8

Uh this chapter contains tlaking about suicide and self harm.

Anges pov:

I thought i was going to be free forever, nothing could stop me, i built walls so i couldn't be hurt, there were walls before but now i had more.
I was currently about to rob a bank. Yes a bank,  now you must be thinking don't do ut you'll be put in the electric chair blah blah blah, thats the point i wanna die. I dont want to live i want to feel pain physically but i can't I've only ever felt ot emotionally and that was once and that once ruined me...
Ok now on to my plan.

I was now arriving and the Tusla Community Bank, i had taken drugs a few minutes before so i was high. I walked in and was ready, i had a few stomers with me to distract the people who work there, yes very smart.

2 hours later

It has now been 2 hours sunce i arrived, i have taken a lot of money and I'm now about to walk out. I did it successfully and walked off to where i said I'd split even with the stoners, couple minutes walked by and i had given them their share and i was walking off with mine.
I had thoughts in my head and they weren't good it was as if someone was talking to me.

I walked up to my hill house thingy and layed there staring at the ceiling dling nothing but regret life.
(Same girl, same).

I had this feeling as if i was being watched and i looked around and saw nothing, i decided to take a walk and cause more trouble and get into more fights.
Thats exactly what i did..

I went to slash tires, spray paint peoples cars, jump people, i was no invincible. Or so i thought....

I got into a figh with a couple greasers and beat them it was such a boring match so i went to the soc side and saw bob and randy. Now i usually jump them and stuff like that but i felt like having i civilized talk, i walked over to them and they flinched i "apologised" for hurting bob real bad and we were cool now.
I was having a blast with them, we caused trouble and then went over to Cherry's house, oh she's going to love me there. (Notice the sarcasm)

We walked in and it was just us jer parents were on some bussnies trip to LA.
"Oh Cherry it's nice to see you again how ya doin?"
"Um considering the fact my cousin falls off the face of the planet an is most wanted criminal right now im really good how are you?" She said.
"Oh the usual you know" i said.
"Actually we don't know so tell us". All three said in union.

I began to tell them were i was and threatened them yada yada yoo then there was a knock on the door. Then Cherrys like "oh that must be Ponyboy Angel go hide".
I walked off to her room and jumped out the window and was now oon my feet, again.

I caused some more trouble, i went to a gas station and stashed candy and cancer sticks into my jacket and then walked off, the man working sensed soemthing was up but didn't say anything and let me go. Thank god.

I then suddenly got pushed to the ground by the one and only Dallas Winston...
Of course he was the one to do it.
"Doll what's up with you?"
"First get off of me and second go away".
He got off and i was walking away but he grabbed me again, this time i landed on his chest with a thud.
I stared into his chocolate brown eyes and he stared into mine but i broke the eye contact and looked at the ground then spoke.

"Go away Winston i don't wanna talk to anyone"
"Look doll i know you don't but i just wanna know what's wrong with you"
He said that with so much care that i just broke down, i cried not just a few tears, there was a puddle from my cry, i looked back up to see him staring at me with care then he spoke.
"Can ya tell me now"
"I- lets go back to where I'm living first" i said.

We arrived at the little hut on the hill and i layed back on the floor and it stayed sildnt for a minute then i spoke.
"Dal i broke down and i dealt with it so stupidly"
"Why'd ya break down and what stupidity did you do?"dal said.

"I- i broke down coz i lost the one thing i cared about i lost the one thing thag kept me from being out of this world i lost the one thing i loved a-and then i saw how happy the boys were without m-me" i sniffled amd continued. "I did drugs i stole an now look where its ended me up in a stupid hell hole i can't wait for my next plan though"

"And what is your next plan?" He asked.

"You see these" i showed him my 'battle scars'
"Those were keeping me somewhat sain and i don't want to live anymore no one loves me or cares for me no one wants me im just a waste of space and i plan on letting someone else fill in that space" i said sighing a little bit. A minute passed by and Dallas hasn't said a word, he then walked out but on his way out he said to me "you better be breathing when we get back" and with that he left.

Words kept pacing through my mind like:
Waste of space
No one loves you
Go kill yourself
No one needs you here
Everyones better off with you dead
_
I couldn't take it anymore i started screaming the words get out of my head and go away, i broke down again for the second time today.
I was crying so hard and i wamted it to stop but it wouldn't.
Me being stubborn i didn't listen to Dally's last words and i went on with my plan....