The Chosen One For Me - Draco Malfoy

4. My Worst Fear

Rebecca Sullivan:

He really did fuck Pansy fucking Parkinson again then. After he kissed and left me. How. Fucking. Great. 

When we left the Great Hall, I hurried with Sam after me to our room. 

"He really is an arsehole Bex, please, try to forget him?" Sam pleaded. 

I sighed. 

"I kissed him at the party, and he fucked Pansy right after... I really thought this year was going to be different, you know. I can't help it, I can't fucking help it. I want him Sam, more than anything. My worst fear is to end this year without him being mine. I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I thought that it would be different..." 

Sam hugged me and wiped my tears away, "He is not worth it, what about Potter? I mean, he is nice?" Sam tried to comfort me. 

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," I said as I dove into my pillow in an attempt to hide my sadness. But there was no point, Sam knew.

"Sorry Sam, I am sorry to ruin the good mood. I should be happy for you. I mean, you got Carlin, at least? Let's celebrate that instead?" 

"Ssh, stop Bex. We can be happy for me when you are done with being sad," said Sam softly. 

She really is the best. We became best friends as soon as we started here and we've been inseparable ever since. 

"But I really want to know, though, was it good? And how could you guys not wake me up?" I asked, just trying to change the subject. I didn't want to think about Draco anymore. I wanted to move on with my life. I had wasted far too many years on that guy. 

Sam started to giggle, "Yeah, you were gone, but we tried to be quiet as well. But it was good, really good actually. He made me cum, no one has made me cum before, you know." 

I could see that she was smiling and turning red when talking about it. 

"Well, are you two a thing now or?" I teased. 

"Bex, we have fucked ONCE, I don't know... I mean. I think Carlin fucks girls all the time? Don't you think? Maybe it is nothing special?" She said and sounded slightly worried. 

"Well, not every girl is Samantha Sanders, hot as fuck and with the kindest heart ever to exist, you know. But yeah, sure, it was nothing special," I teased. 

She smiled at me and started laughing, and laid beside me and hugged me, "You are the best friend anyone could ever have," Sam said genuinely.

We must have fallen asleep; I woke up to knocks on the door. I rubbed my eyes and walked towards the door. I slowly opened it, and to my surprise, Carlin, Blaise, and Draco stood outside.

"Can we come in?" Carlin asked with a smile. 

"I guess..." I answered carelessly.

I went back to the bed and placed a hand on Sam's back, "Someone's looking for you," I said as I looked at the three Slytherin boys standing at the door. 

"Oh, hello," Sam said sleepily as she sat up, she smiled at Carlin, and he smiled back. Yes, he most definitely likes her.

Draco walked in and was just about to sit down on my bed as I rushed towards it, "Please, I don't want your dirty juices on my bed," I snorted. 

Wow, did I really just say that to Draco Malfoy? Well, I was impressed with myself. 

"Oh, ok, I might as well just leave then," Draco said, sounding irritated. 

"Hey, you two, please be decent, we just came to talk, Bex," Blaise said. 

I looked at Draco as he gazed down at the floor. He was beautiful, no doubt, but I was disgusted. Disgusted with him and disgusted with me.

Carlin walked towards Sam and laid a gentle kiss on her head, and sat on the bed beside her. 

"So, we thought the five of us should have a party again. I mean, we are the best Slytherins and have hardly spent any time together at all, and this is our last year. So why not make the most out of it?" Carlin said, looking at Sam and me. 

I stared at Draco, did he want to spend time with me really? I couldn't help it, I felt happy, I felt warm, but then I remembered Pansy, we are the best Slytherins? And Pansy?

"Oh, we are the best Slytherins? Not sure if everyone agrees? What about Pansy?" I asked and looked at Draco, who stared down at the floor once again. 

"Well, she is just a decent fuck, right Draco and Blaise?" Carlin scoffed. 

Blaise started laughing, "I understand, Rebecca Sullivan has a little crush on Malfoy here?" he said and pointed and Draco. 

I blushed. Dammit. Draco looked at me with his ice grey eyes and smiled. I looked away. Fuck. Am I just supposed to melt into his eyes again? Forgiving him? What does he want?

"Well, I don't blame you, Sullivan, and you are not that bad of a kisser, I must admit," Draco said with a smirk. 

What the fuck is he doing? Trying to play his games once again? I will not let him be in charge this time. 

"Well, you are, I must admit," I answered coldly. He became serious again and looked away. "Ok, so you guys kissed?" Carlin asked. 

"We most certainly did," I answered flatly. 

"Well, Draco, give Bex an apology, I would be angry as well if those disgusting lips touched mine," Carlin said and laughed. But Draco wasn't laughing, and neither was I.

"Ok, you two need to talk, we will leave you to it," Carlin said, nodding at Sam and Blaise. 

And with that, Carlin, Sam, and Blaise left the room. Sam gave me a meaningful look before she closed the door. 

"So..." Draco started with a deep sigh, "I understand that you are angry, but I am sorry, I just don't feel the same as you do. I was drunk. You were wearing a short dress and asked me to kiss you. I couldn't help myself. When we kissed, I felt that you were a little... too into it, which is why I walked away, and yes, I ended up with Pansy, but I was drunk. So there it is. Your welcome. Can we bring the others back in now?"

I could feel the tears burning in my eyes, I wouldn't let him see it. I looked away. 

"Well, then, you're wrong. I don't care about you either. I might have done, but you are just awful, and I deserve better. You can continue to fuck Pansy, I don't care. But don't you dare play these games with me," I answered as I could hear my voice crack a little.

"I am sorry, Bex..." Draco said. 

The sincerity in his voice surprised me. I have never heard his voice like that before. I couldn't look at him. 

All these years I have been waiting for a kiss, and now that I got one, it was the worst feeling ever. Worst. I hated him for making me feel this way. And my worst fear, of leaving Hogwarts without Draco being mine, seemed far too close. 

"Just get out," I said, and he did. 

He dragged his feet after him as he crossed the room towards the door. I could hear him sigh as he opened the door and left me inside. And the tears came tumbling down.