Endearment ▶️ Pietro Maximoff

Twenty-Two

A year ago, if anyone had said to me that I was going to be bawling my eyes out over a stupid punk who broke my tiny little heart into million pieces, I would have laughed right at their faces. Yet, here I was a year later, sobbing ugly over him.

He didn't care. He never did. I knew it was too good to be true. How could someone like him ever be interested in me? He was an Avenger for god's sake! And he played me, he toyed with my emotions and I happily let him. How stupid of me, naive almost, to think there was anyone who wouldn't hurt me again. I sobbed silently against my pillow as to not wake anyone up. I didn't want Thea worrying about me anymore than usual, not when she had a ton of stress from school in the form of homework and assignments. I didn't want that for her. I didn't want any of this.

I guess I wasn't quiet enough because I heard my door creak open and Thea walked in with Maira propped on her hip. I quickly tried to wipe my eyes but there was no hiding from this anymore. My heart felt like it had been cut open and then shoved right back in with such brutal force that left me gasping for breath. I wanted to scream, at myself, at everyone for letting me get this close to a stupid dumb boy who didn't even care. How did I let my guard down so easily with him? Why did I waste half of my life building a cage around my heart only to let him slip through the cracks like it was never there to begin with, just why? But then again, they never let you suspect anything until it's too late.

"I.. I saw him too."

I inhaled sharply. After the..incident at the mall, I had made a beeline for our apartment building. Pretending like nothing has happened was one of my speciality, however, today seemed to be an exception. I found myself struggling to breathe properly by the time we'd reached home. Thea hadn't said a word to me and I was grateful, I couldn't deal with anything in that moment. I just couldn't. So I did the only thing I could think of; hide in my room for hours. I had forgotten to note the time but judging by the darkness looming over my windows I estimated it to be around 9pm.

"Is he..?"

"He's alive, and doing great it seems." I interrupted, wiping my eyes with extreme force. I grabbed my pillow and placed it in my lap, picking at the loose threads. Maira wiggled out of Thea's hold and made herself comfortable in my bed, reaching for my face she began touching it with her little hands. It calmed me down a little bit and I quickly put her in my lap hugging her. I sighed.

"I don't believe it, Charlie. It's not like him to-"

"To what? Pretend he doesn't know me and give me the cold stare?" I interrupted her again, voice laced with venom. Thea visibly winced but quickly recovered.

"Yeah. That's not him."

I felt anger. "How can you be so sure about that, hm Thea? We barely knew him to begin with!" I seethed. She stood her ground, staring at me with an unreadable expression. I scoffed. "Oh, come on. You saw him walk away like I didn't exist, like Maira didn't exist."

I hated this. Maira had gotten so attached to him and seeing him ignore her as well, I didn't know else to make of it.

"There has to an explanation for all of this. There has to be!" Thea voiced, frustration laced in her tone. I sighed, closing my eyes and opening them back again.

"There's only one explanation and I don't think I have to tell you that." I said in a quiet voice, but anger bubbled inside of me and I couldn't stop myself from speaking harshly moments later.

"I can't believe I let you all talk me into going out with him all those months ago! I wouldn't have been in this situation in the first place."

"Oh, sure! Blame it on us now, awesome!" Thea scoffed, clearly offended by my accusations. But it was true, if they hadn't been adamant about him, my stress induced - always got a stick up my ass - wouldn't have dared to entertain the thought me being with him.

"I hate boys." I responded pathetically. I was done. I was tired, tired of going through all of these unknown emotions. My throat hurt from all that crying and I was hurting.

But the rational side of me wanted control of this situation. I wanted to confront him about everything but at the same time, I also knew it would just lead to further disappointments. He had seen me, he had bloody seen me, he was aware of what I was going through this entire time. He had seen my messages, he knew I was worried about him. But he didn't care, he had no other reason to be doing this other than the one I'd already come up with.

"You need to talk to him. There's got to be a reason behind all of this." I knew Thea was right but I also knew it wasn't going to get me any answers. I knew. I didn't need him telling me what I already knew. I was scared, I didn't want to feel vulnerable. I was vulnerable enough.

"I don't think there's anything he can say to me that'll explain any of this."
I had to compose myself, I was a grown woman. I didn't have any time to waste on a pretty boy, no matter how much of an effect he had on me. I had enough. I was done hurting and I sure as hell was done with him. I tried to convince myself but to be honest, I don't think I could ever get over this. Not really..but the least I could do was try.

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A/N I hate boys too. Fun fact: I named my main character after SPN's Charlie, even down to the last name. Can't believe Supernatural is ending..2020 sucked the joy out of everything.