The Fault Line (GxG)

10, It's the goalkeeper

"Hi, dad," I smile as he came into the kitchen with an exhausted look on his face.

"Did you get the wolf in the end?" I question and take a spoonful of cereal into my mouth.

"No," He answers, as he is preparing himself a cup of coffee.

"That bastard didn't come back; hopefully, it will stay that way. I don't think I can take another night listening to your grandad's dry jokes," Dad said, rubbing his eyes.

"Where is mom?" He asks, trying to peek into the living room. I look down into my bowl as I stir the spoon around.

"She left before I came home," I explain, sadly.

"Of course she did," He says, shaking his head rapidly and then push his brown hair back. The fact that he doesn't understand that she will leave every time is unbelievable. It's her trademark; she only comes here when she needs something. It's either money or simply a roof over her head. I have given her up if only he could do the same. But perhaps that is the issue.

"Dad?" I try to get his attention.

"Yeah," He pours himself a cup of coffee.

"Do you still love mom?" I wonder because it's something we have never talked about.

"Why do you ask?" He questions me and takes a sip of his cup.

"Well, I don't know," I shrug, trying not to look as uncomfortable as I feel.

"I do, but I know I shouldn't," His answers weren't what I expected.

"Then why don't you try and let her go," I wonder; there is so much I don't understand. Dad deserves someone better and should find a person who could make him happy. He smiles as he sits down on the chair across from me.

"I have this thing about falling in love with women that I shouldn't. I think it's a curse," He chuckles, placing his cup on the table.

"Love is complicated, Wilder," He lets out a breath.

"You don't say," I blurt out and realize what I did. Dad tilted his head curiously, watching me with suspicion.

"Is that why you have been so weird lately?" He asks, and my eyes widened, but I can't find words. What have I done?

"Weird?" I question, trying to avoid what he is actually asking for.

"You have been quiet, more than usual, and sometimes you seem a bit lost in your thoughts," He explains, but I shake my head.

"So," Dad starts slowly, acting very casual as he always does.

"Who has stolen my daughter's heart?" He grins excitedly.

"Oh my god," I say, placing my hand over my face. He is the stranges father in the world. But then Nico's image appears, and I shut it out as I look at my dad. I can't think about her; the more I do, the worse it gets.

"It's no one," I tell him, but he won't stop staring at me.

"It can't happen anyways," I inform him, which took the smile off his face.

"Why not?" He asks, and no matter how hard I try to keep that beautiful girl out of my mind, she always seems to creep back in. Every time I look into her eyes, it's like I have fallen into a black hole with no way out. I can't seem to pull myself away. How can you desire someone so badly?

"Because it can't," I tell him again.

"You want to enlighten me?" Dad smiles, hopefully. Perhaps it's not the worst idea to talk about it with him. He has been there and knows what it feels like, but I think I have come to a point where I can't take it anymore. Lynda said I shouldn't interact, which I agree to. But she didn't tell who to deal with it, how to make it stop.

"Well, the problem is that," I stop to take a deep breath, and he waits patiently on me.

"Well, first of all, I don't know if she likes me," I shrink, and my cheeks are on fire of how embarrassing it is.

"Oh well, we don't know until we know," He seems confused by his own words.

"Never mind that. Sometimes we just have to go for it and take a chance," Dad smiles, and I nod, doubting that I would ever be able to do that. What if she rejects me? Because that would be painful.

"Okay, the thing is she plays for the Griffiths," I let the bomb out, and he leaned back in his chair.

"Oh, yeah, that I can see that is a problem," He chews on his lip, trying to find an answer for me.

"Which one?" He asks, and I roll my eyes.

"Does it matter?" I wonder, and he nods.

"Fine, it's the goalkeeper, Nico," I say; how low can I go from here anyways.

"The one that gave you that horrible cut on your forehead," He sounds astonished.

"Yep," I stare back down in my bowl, wishing someone or something could take me far away from here right now.

"How?" He asks, baffled.

"It's just happened," I mumble, but he seems to understand.

"Okay, on a scale of one to ten, how do you like her?" He raises his eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know, I barely know her," I tell him.

"You know you like her, so you should know," He says.

"Dad, I have never liked anyone before. All I know is that I can't stop thinking about her. And when she is around, I always need to watch her, which makes a crazy person," I pause, lost in my mind.

"Nico is arrogant but still very kind. Perhaps a bit charming, while annoying," I roll my eyes with a smile.

"Wilder," My dad watches me with a tiny smile but a tint of worry in his eyes.

"As your dad, I should probably tell you that you can't do this because of soccer," He takes a deep breath.

"But I don't think I have ever seen that look on your face before," I clench my jaw at his comment.

"No, Wilder, it's not a bad thing. I just don't think I have ever seen you so happy," Dad says, but I can't make myself meet his eyes.

"I know things have been rough, considering your mom and our financial situation, which is keeping me at work most of the time. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter than you," His words made me smile a little now.

"You might try to hide it, but I know it's been hard on you. I can see that you don't like to be alone, which is painful knowing because you mostly are," I swallowed hard because I didn't know he could tell it was a struggle.

"I'm not going to play the blame game, but I think you might have an issue with abandonment," He says lightly, trying not to provoke me. But I remain quiet and seated because he is not wrong. I don't want to get attached to my mother as I know she will be gone in the end.

"You have struggled to make friends through the years. I know you have Lynda, but you don't try to befriend anyone anymore, which is worrying," He admits.

"But as I said, as your dad," He adds pressure on the word dad.

"You should concentrate on soccer and think about your future, but as Dean, your friend, or whatever, I think you need to get out of your shell," He says, and I watch him bewildered.

"What now?" I ask, totally lost.

"Go out and live a little," He rolls his eyes, stepping out of his seat.

"But I can't; it would create a mess," I try and tell him.

"Your dad would agree, but I think it's time to be a proper teenager," He winks. What is happening right now?