The Fault Line (GxG)

29. How slow are you?

"Wilder, it's been three weeks are you ever going to respond?" Lynda asked as she sat across from me at a cafe in the mall. I have been staring down at my phone, which has now felt like an eternity. Endless texts from Nico as I scroll up and down. Most of them the same, asking me if I'm alright, that she is sorry and misses me very much. 

"No," I answered, and she rolled her eyes but then lightly smashed her hand on the table in between us. I frowned at her act. 

"Don't you look at me like that; you need to talk to her. Ignoring it won't make it go away, Wilder," She said harshly, and I gazed away from her, staring at all the people with hands holding onto bags as they are out shopping for the weekend. Children running up and down the escalator with laughter, with no worries haunting them. I wish I had that type of freedom. 

"I'm coping with it," I shrugged as I faced my friend again, who shook her head in frustration. 

"Sure, you are. You have been distracting yourself with soccer, school work, and spent most of your time with me, which is not like you at all. You love your alone time, but now it's like you are terrified of it," Lynda said, and I bit my inner cheeks because hearing the truth hurts. Being alone makes me think, and I don't want my mind to wander to places, especially Nico. I'm scared if I do, I might go running back to her. 

I have spent the past couple of weeks training with Lynda after school; then, we would do our homework. On the weekends, I have been with my grandparents, using most of my day on the far with my grandad and my dad. Yet I'm trying to avoid him because we won't let me be. 

Each time I drove past Nico's house, I had to stop myself from looking to see if she was there. It was a horrible reminder of what I'm missing. The time we had together was the most amazing thing I have ever had. 

"It's easier to ignore it," I told my friend as I laid my phone on the table. 

"Maybe it is, but it might be a nightmare for Nico," Lynda stole my gaze as she mentioned her name. Perhaps that is why I'm ignoring Nico because I don't want to know how much pain she is in. It's easier to not know, yet it doesn't take the guilt away. I don't understand why I feel it. Nico was the one who made this happen. 

"It wasn't my fault," I said. 

"I never said it was, Wilder, but are you going to walk around with no closure for the rest of your life?" She wondered, and I rolled my eyes at that. Now I wish I was alone. 

"Okay, fine." She sighed.

"Well, I'm happy that we both going to the same college next year at least. It's reliving that I won't go alone to the University of Virginia," She grinned, and it made me smile.

"Well, they were the only one that was willing to give it to me for free," I said, being reminded of all the great offers that I had gotten, even Stanford, which was amazing. Yet they wanted half the price for me to attend. Most of the college required that, but my dad can't afford it. So I went with the one that was for free and it's not a bad choice either. I kept extending my answer because of Nico, but now that I know she isn't going to be in the country, I made my choice. 

"Nah, you just can't get rid of me," She winked playfully, and I chuckled at that.  

"It's nice to have you there with me," I smiled happily.

"We should see if we can get the same dorm room together. I will lay in a request for the both of us," She said, and I nodded in agreement. 

"So, do you know where in England Nico is going?" She asked lightly, scared to go back to the topic that I tried to stay clear from.