The Fault Line (GxG)

37. I can't do this anymore

After the game, Abby invited every one of us to her home. Her parents are out of town on a business meeting, which made me feel a little sad for Abby that they couldn't see her play today. Then again, I wish nobody was at the game today. 

The party started real quiet; only whispers were heard here and there from my teammates. I had found myself a spot on the couch, drowning my sorrows in a cup with something that tastes pretty bad, but I don't care.  

The more the girls drank, the louder they became. Now music is playing in the background as a few of them are playing beer pong or in deep conversation about where they are going to college next year. I wish things didn't have to move forward sometimes. That time could stand still for only a moment, so I could be able to catch my breath or let my mind wander a little bit. 

But time has to move on, unfortunately, and Nico is leaving in a couple of weeks. As much as I don't like it, I'm happy for her. She was wonderful today, and it was kind of her to come and comfort me. 

Yet after she left, my teammates asked why she was there with me. I told them she only wanted to talk. I didn't go into details, but they didn't ask either. I think they understood that I needed to be alone. Like I am right now, sometimes I need to be left with my thoughts. It might not be the best place to be right now, but I don't feel like interacting with others. 

But as time flew by, more people started to join our gathering. At first, the girls' friends outside of the team joined, and eventually, a few boyfriends here and there. It feels slightly crowded in here now, yet there aren't that many people. I think I'm thinking too much to the point it's becoming too hard to breathe. 

"Wilder," A hand on my shoulder made me jump in my seat.

"Are you okay?" Lynda asked when I looked at her; the concern was written all over her face. I opened my mouth, but speechless I was as the entire game came back to view. 

"Wilder, you need to slow down your breathing," She said calmly with her hand on my back. I took a deep breath, but it did nothing to remove the guilt that has created a lump in my chest. 

We both turned to face the kitchen as people were shouting in anger. Lynda looked at me strangely as we both don't understand what is going on. But right now, I don't care because I can't seem to calm myself down. I'm not sure what I'm feeling; it's a mix of everything. 

Automatically I got up on my feet along with Lynda as we both saw Aubrey and a few others from the other team come into the living room. Grinning my way, she steps over to me, which made Lynda stand in front of me. For some odd reason, I tried to look behind them to see Nico, but I can't. 

"I told you I would get back at you," Aubrey said and clenched my jaw but took a step back. I'm already drowning in misery, and there is nothing worse when someone is adding wood to the fire. 

"Not just that, you lost, gave away the whole game in our favor," She told me, and I looked down at the floor, my hands turned into fists. 

"Shut up and leave," Lynda warned her as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

"I'm not talking to you," Aubrey said rudely. I don't understand why she started this battle in the first place.

"I don't want to argue," I told and looked at the other girls who are standing beside her, but Aubrey only laughed, which pulled on all of my plugs, moved in front of Lynda, and pushed Aubrey back into her friends. I'm not great with words, and if I can't find the right thing to say, I get angry, which leaves me doing the wrong thing. 

Her whole face turned red, and she lept towards me, which made me turn to the side. Yet she grabbed me by the hoodie, and we both fell onto the floor.