The Fault Line (GxG)

27. You weren't supposed to happen

"Morning, sunshine," Nico smiled as I opened my eyes, and I pushed myself further up upon her to hide my face in her neck. She is so soft and comfortable.

"How are you feeling?" She wondered, but I only shrugged, not wanting to feel the pain in my throat each time I talk. 

"Well, your not as warm as you were last night, but you need a shower. I need a shower because you have been sleeping on me," Nico chuckled as she held me tightly in her arms and placed her lips on my temple. 

But then my mind raced back to last night, to what I said, and my cheeks heated up. I can't believe I told her that I think I love her. Who does that? Well, like Nico says all the time, only you, Wilder. Only I would tell her such a thing. Why couldn't I say that I love her like a normal human being would do? But no, I had to use the words: I think. 

"Wilder," She almost shouted, and I winced as it was loud in my ear. 

"Were you lost again?" Nick chuckled, and I shrugged. 

"Where were you?" She asked worriedly as she moved to the side to look at me, but I shook my head. It's too embarrassing to talk about it, yet I believe Nico deserves someone more open than I am. Do I wish I was different? Not constantly concerned that I might say or do something wrong, of course, I do. 

"Wild, I don't like the look on your face," She took me out of my thoughts and placed her hand on my jaw as I can feel that it's clenched. 

"What is going on in there?" She laid her finger on my forehead, and I bit my lip as I gazed down. 

"Okay," She smiled lightly and rested her forehead on mine.

"Whatever is going on in that beautiful mind of yours, please don't doubt yourself. Because you are the most amazing person I have ever met, and as I told you last night, I absolutely love everything about you," Nico's hand is trailing on the skin on my cheek.

"You are my number ten," She said, and it made me smile, yet there was a trace of sadness across her face that made my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. 

I might have a clue on what is on her mind, yet I'm too scared to ask. I haven't found the strength to question her where she is going next year. I need to choose soon, but what was once such an easy choice has become excruciating. 

Nico wasn't in my plans. She didn't exist, and I have always followed one line in my life, which was the future of becoming a soccer player. But then she came into my life and created a new line, the faultline. The one that wasn't supposed to be there, and she shook the world beneath my feet. Now, I don't know what to do anymore. I only wanted one thing, but now I think I want something else much more. 

"Where are you going next year?" I asked, even though I could feel my heart hammer against my ribs. Her mouth slightly opened but closed it as she looked away from me. I clenched my jaw as I understood that her answer might hurt. 

"Let's not talk about it," She tried to smile to avoid the conversation. I have noticed that whenever she doesn't want to talk about something, she trails off the topic as if it would be better. So perhaps averting the truth will work in the short term doesn't mean it's still there between the cracks. 

"We have to, Nico. I still haven't made my choice, and I have a few offers," I said, clearing my throat as it feels like it's on fire. She took a deep unsteady breath, as her gorgeous eyes are gaze elsewhere. 

"I don't want to talk about it," Nico responded, and I rubbed the bridge of my nose.

"Why not?" I asked, even though everything in me is screaming not to. Her struggle is freaking me out.