MANAL

36: Jawaad

As usual, I sat in mum's room; my left foot impatiently stamping the floor. Mum has summoned for me and I had been in the room for the past ten minutes, but she still hadn't spoken a word to me. I had begun to get uncomfortable, because I already had a hint what the conversation would be all about. It was quite obvious—her countenance gave her away.

In spite of being fed up about the whole issue, I still couldn't bring myself to hurt her feelings by telling her to dead the matter. I tried so hard to understand why she so badly wanted me to get married, but I always failed. I never said I wouldn't, but the pressure only escalated everytime. 

"Jawaad." She finally decided to break the overdue silence that had ensued in the room.

Mum's gaze didn't waver from mine even for a second. Her facial expression was solemn—way more serious than I had seen her in a very long time.

Seems I'm in for a long conversation.

"Na'am." I responded with a poker face and sat up straight.

"I know I have had this conversation with you for like the nth time, but I'm still not going to back down if that's what you've been thinking. You probably thought 'this woman' will eventually get tired of rambling and move on, right?"

Here we go...

"I don't even know what you're talking about.." My brows dilated, as I feigned oblivion.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." She fired. "Look, Jawaad, I didn't call you here to joke. I'm very serious right now and I'd appreciate it if you take me seriously as well."

I heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Do you remember the last conversation we had?" She questionably scrunched up her face.

I simply nodded in response, for I didn't want to irk her any further.

"And what was your promise again?"

"Mum—"

"Please, Jawaad." She abruptly cut me off. "Answer the question."

I gulped. Having the conversation with mum was the last thing I wanted.  She would stop at nothing to ensure she succeeds, even if it meant emotionally blackmailing me—I had no doubts. "I promised to introduce you to someone."

"And have you?" She hummed. "It's been more than a month, Jawaad. I just want you to tell me there's someone you're interested in. Is that too much to ask for? I get the feeling that you don't care about what I want. You just do whatever you want."

Ya Allah! How did she arrive at this conclusion?

"Of course not, mum. You know that isn't true. You're my priority."

"Don't tell me that!" She snapped. "Don't tell me that unless you mean it. You think I'm a kid to get easily swayed by your words. Actions speaks louder than words. I had been requesting for the same thing, like a broken record, but you don't even care to consider my feelings."

"Please don't say that, mum." I massaged my forehead in exasperation. "I didn't say I won't get married, did I? Please just give me more time. Marriage is not something one should rush into."

How do I explain this to her?

"You didn't, but it is written all over your face."

"Like I said, mum, marriage is not something one should rush into—"

"Are you lecturing me?"

Ugh!

"Is that what it is? So you think because you're all grown now, you know better than me? What an elderly person can see while sitting down, a child can never see it, even while standing on a mountain."