You Get Me

5-Promise Me

*leahs pov*

I wake up the next morning, and I don't even remember last night. I watch as the ceiling fan spins, and I try to keep my focus on one blade.

I should've known this would happen since I always sleep for a long time to get my high to wear off. I look around but Jennifer isn't in my room. I rub my head and take my medicine like usual.

I lay back down for a second and I end up falling asleep for about 10 more minutes. But then I wake up to humming.I sit up, and see a silhouette in the corner of my eye. I turn and watch as I see Jen running her fingers through her hair.

"Did I wake you?" She asks quietly. "No-you're fine." I shake my head. "What happen-." I start to ask before I see the time on the clock. "Fuck.." I sigh since it's way past my therapy appointment. "Shit, my moms gonna kill me." I say and put my face in my hands. "What's wrong?" She asks and sits on the edge of my bed.

"I had something I had to do today, and I missed it." I shake my head and look at her. "Was it important?" She asks. "Not to me. But technically, yes." I tilt my head. "I don't know how I'm gonna fix this. I've lied my way out of everything, up to this point, I can't anymore." I sigh and lay back down.

"Then don't." She shrugs and strokes my thigh since it's not covered by the blanket. "I'll just tell my mom I got sick." I shrug. "Ok.." She says and looks at me with sympathy. "Stop-." I say.

"Stop what?" She asks. "Giving me that look, I'm tired of everyone feeling bad for me." I say. "You don't like me staring at you?" She asks. "Not with that look on your face." I tilt my head. So she changes her face and continues to stare at me. I laugh and shake my head. "Thankyou." I giggle and so does she.

"I'm sorry you missed your thing." She says. "It's ok, I probably wouldn't have gone anyways." I shrug and get out of bed. "Well why not?" She asks. "Because I don't fucking care." I shrug.

I turn to her and she's looking at me with her head tilted. "It's sad, but it true." I say and she sighs.  "Look, too many people are worried about me. I don't want you to be like everyone else. Please just be with me a-and have fun with me." I say and she looks down. "Ok?" I ask. "Ok.." She nods.

We hang around for a little longer but it was gonna start to get dark soon, so Jennifer ends up leaving. And my mom is texting me to come over and tell my how my appointment went. So I put on some sweatpants and a hoodie. Then I take all my makeup off and put my hair in a messy bun. Now I have to put on the sick act, and make sure my mom believes it.

She can't know that I accidentally missed the appointment. Luckily I took acting classes when I was like 12, so maybe I can pull this off.

-

"What do you mean you didn't go?!" She asks. "Look at me! I felt like I was dying this morning. I couldn't go ma." I shrug. "Did you at least call and reschedule??" She asks and I look down. "Oops.." I say. "Jesus Leah." She sighs. "She probably thinks you're so irresponsible now." She says. "Cuz she is." Sarah says once she comes downstairs. "mind your business." I put my hand up and she just rolls her eyes.

"Whatever. I'll schedule you another appointment." She says and picks up her phone. "No!- I mean, you don't have to.." I say and force a fake cough. She looks at me and furrow her brows. "Cut the shit Leah." She says and crosses her arms.

"What?" I shrug. "Leah...you're sick.." She says slowly. "I know 'cough' 'cough'." I say, faking it. "No. Leah you're not ok. You're sick and you need help." She says. "So...I'm 'mentally' sick?" I ask trying to understand what she's saying.

"Yes, and if you haven't realized by now, then something is definitely wrong." She says, which kind of hurts since she's making fun of me in a way. "Wow..." I scoff. "Oh please. Don't take it that way." She sighs. "Can't you just listen to me for once in your life??" She asks. "Because every time I do, it doesn't fucking help." I say  annoyed.

"It makes my life so much more stressful. You make my life stressful." I say and she raises her brows. "Me making sure my daughter isn't wanting to kill herself everyday is stressful to you?" She asks. "Don't do that, you don't get to bring everything thing back to that-." I say before she cuts me off. "How can I not?! I think about it every goddamn day, thanking god that you're still here." She says as her eyes start to water.

"Oh my god, it's not about you.." I say. "You think I don't know that by now?!" She asks. "I'm done with this." I roll my eyes and start to walk upstairs. "I don't care if I have to drag your ass to therapy, but you're going!" She yells.

I go into what was my room when I lived here, which technically still is my room even though I don't live here anymore. I just sleep in here when I'm visiting. I sit on the edge of my head and put my face in my hands.

I feel my eyes start to water, but I try to suck it up. I lift my head up, and Sarah walks in the room. "Hey.." She says and I force a smile. "Hi." I say. "Are you ok?" She asks and sits beside me. "I'll be fine." I shrug.

We sit there in silence for a few minutes, until she decides to speak. "Ya know mom has a point..." She says as she plays with her fingers. "No she doesn't, she always brings up the past to use it against me." I say and rub my neck.

She looks at me and tilts her head. "Do you know how I felt when I walked in this room, with you on the floor, and a big bloodstain right there?" She asks and points to where it was. I sigh and press my lips. "I couldn't imagine.." I shake my head. "Yeah well I couldn't either. I never thought I'd have to experience that.." She sighs.

"But I did. And I'm still not over how I thought I'd never get to talk to you again." She says. "I'm so sorry." I say and hold her hand. "I thought about you before I did it. It made me question if I should not do it, and just go in your room and talk to you. But I was just so done, I can't even explain it." I say as she's staring at me with these sad eyes.

"Sarah I need you to promise me..." I say and hold both her hands. "Promise me if you ever feel like that, just tell me, and never turn to what I did." I say and squeeze her hands. "I-i promise.." She says as a tear falls down her cheek.

A/N

I feel like this book is already flopping, but I'm kinda feeling this whole emotional plot🥴 so worst case i'll just continue it for myself even though I already know what happens- but anwaysss, you guys are probably gonna hate me for this book...because i already hate myself for it😭 but stay with me people because this is probably gonna be my most controversial book👍🏼 ouu look at me using big words. but fr, just don't give up on this book yet. please like and comment, give me ideas because my brain is a raisin. love you guysss😎‼️‼️🔫