You Get Me

13-Impossible

*leahs pov*

"I'll stop by here and there, but the coffee better be good." My mom points at me and I giggle. "Oh if it's made by me then you know it'll be good." I assure her. "Why didn't you just apply for Starbucks-?" My sister asks. "There are other coffee shops in the world other than Starbucks, Sarah." I roll my eyes and she shrugs.

"We gettin coffee?" My dad asks as he comes down starts. "No-jeez." My mol says and me and Sarah giggle. "Do you wanna take Andy on a walk with me real quick?" I ask Sarah. I didn't wanna leave Andy home alone, so I just brought him with since my parents love him anyways. "Sure." She shrugs as we both stand up.

She goes to find Andy as I get his leash. She comes back with him, and I put his collar and leash on. The we go outside and start walking down the sidewalk. "So what's up with you?" I ask and playfully bump into her as we walk. "Nothin much." She shrugs. "You gotta boyfriend yet?" I ask. "What?! Shutup!" She says and hits me. "Just askin." I laugh.

"Dad would kill me if I had a boyfriend." She shakes her head. "You think I don't know that? I was 15 once too, and living with him." I say. "Well how'd you get through it?" She asks. "Well- after a while. I just stop talking about things, then mom and dad wouldn't get suspicious." I explain. "And if you do want a boyfriend, the you just gotta keep it from him." I shrug. "Did you?" She asks. "Oh yeah." I giggle.

"This is bringing back memories." I shake my head. "Good ones?" Sarah asks. "Mostly." I nod. She smiles and puts her arm through mine. "How's mom been?" I ask. "She's fine, just worried about you." She says and and H nod since I understand. "And I am too." She says and looks at me. "Don't be." I smile and so does she.

We stay quiet for a little and just enjoy the fresh air. "Who's Jennifer?" Sarah randomly asks. "What-?" I ask surprised. "Jennifer, who is she?" She asks again. "Um- a friend. How do you know about her?" I ask. "I heard mom talking to dad about it." She says hesitantly. "How the hell did mom know about her?" I ask her and stop walking. "I don't know." She shrugs.

I turn around and start walking back. Sarah follows behind me and doesn't say anything for the rest of the walk. Once we get home, I go straight to my moms room, where she's sitting on her bed. I stand there and cross my arms. "Uh-oh. What did I do know?" She asks and puts her phone down. "It's not what you did, it's what you know, and how you know." I say with attitude and she tilts her head.

"What're you talking about Lee?" She asks. "How do you know about Jennifer...?" I ask as I come and sit bedside her. "Ugh, that's what this is about?" She giggles. "Just answer the question." I say and she sighs. "I heard you talking about her one tim-." She starts to say but I cut her off. "You're lying, I've never talked about her around here." I say and she looks down. "It's not a big deal, so don't make it a big deal...but your therapist told me.." She says slowly and I furrow my brows.

"My ther- why would she tell you that? Why would she tell you anything? Those things are supposed to be private, just between me and her." I say. "She was just filling me in on how you were doing. And she had just happened to let me know that you met someone who makes you feel good. That's nothing too personal." She shrugs. "What else did she tell you??" I ask. "Nothing!" She throws her hands up in defense. "I'm not going back to her anymore." I shake my head. "Who-Jennifer?" She asks. "No! I- the therapist." I roll my eyes.

"Yes you are, Leah." She says. "I'm an adult, you can't make me do things. And her telling you all my shit defeats the purpose of therapy appointments anyways." I say and stand up. "Leah you have to keep going to her. You need to." She says and I roll my eyes. "Yeah, ok." I nod and walk out of her room. 

I go in the bathroom and text Jennifer. "My mom and my therapist have been gossiping about me." I text her, probably exaggerating.
"How?" She replies. Then I explain to her how my therapist has been telling my mom  about our conversations. Then she gets kind of tense..

"So your mom knows about me now?" She asks. "Yeah...but I guess it doesn't really matter." I reply. "Yeah, well i'm sorry about all of that, it must suck." She says. "It does." I text back but she just leaves me on read.

I sigh and put my phone by the sink.

-

The weekend is finally over, and I just got back home. I let Jen know that I was back, and she's already on her way.

"Hey." She smiles as she walks in. "Hi." I smile back. "I'm sleeping over- by the way." She says once she closes the door. "That's fine. But- don't you have work?" I ask. "I called in sick this week." She shrugs. "I-Jennifer you can't do that." I giggle. "Ya huh. I have 9 vacation days anyways." She shrugs and I just roll my eyes.

We continue to talk on the couch, and we end up on the topic of my mom finding out about Jennifer. "You didn't tell her that I want to meet her? Did you?" She asks. "No- why would I say that when you obviously don't wanna do that?" I sigh. "Does Sarah know about me too?" She asks. "Yeah. But- why does it really matter anyway? Why is it so bad that my family knows I have a friend?" I ask since she really has been confusing me lately.

She just shakes her head and looks down. "I don't have the best reputation Leah.." She says. "Ok? They're not gonna know about your 'reputation'. It's not their business." I shrug. "I don't wanna get into it right now." She says. "Then when? When can we talk about you for once, and not me? Don't you want me to listen to you? I've shared my whole fucking life story with you, and I don't even know where you live.." I say and furrow my eyebrows.

"You look too deep into things." She gripes and looks at me. "No I don't-." I shake my head. "Yes you do!" She says getting louder. "I just wanna know why you've literally been a different person lately- it makes no sense." I stand up and throw my hands up. "Since when are you so worried about me? You're always up my ass for what??" She asks and stands up too. "Being worried isn't a bad thing." I roll my eyes. "It's not. But I can tell that you're making accusations about me in your head. You've been so suspicious about me lately." She says.

"Yeah! Because you've been acting weird, we've been over this." I shrug. "You don't have to start looking out for me all of sudden! I can look out for myself. And even if I do have things going, it's not your business. It's my life." She shrugs. "But you're still my best friend, I just wanna know what's up with you." I tilt my head. "You wanna know what's up with me? Why me? I'm not the one who tried to kill myself!" She says.

It felt like my heart had just been stabbed. Jennifer knows how sensitive that topic is for me, and she just used it for her own defense.

Her facial expression immediately changed. She knew she had said the wrong thing as soon as the words came out. I tuck my hair behind my ear and look up to stop the tears from falling. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean t-...I'm sorry." She repeats. "I'm gonna go to sleep.." I say quietly, almost whispering.

I walk past her without even looking at her. "I-I'll just sleep on the couch." She says as I walk up the stairs. I nod my head to let her know that's okay, but I don't say anything. I get to my room, and surprisingly I don't start to cry my eyes out.

Sometimes my eyeballs feel dry. Or like they've ran out of tears. And I just can't cry anymore. But I guess it's not really a bad thing since nobody loves crying.

I put pajamas on and do my nighttime routine before getting into bed and turning my lamp off. I lay there for at least an hour, just trapped in my thoughts.

Jennifer must have been really upset to even bring that up. I just don't know why. And it makes me mad that she's making this such a one-sided relationship. It's like only she can worry, and care about me. I want to make sure she's okay too, but she's making it impossible.