You Get Me

15-Girl Crush

*leahs pov*

It's been a week since I last heard from Jennifer. I know I'm supposed to be mad at her and not care, but I can't help it. I'm worried. I ended up texting her, just to make sure she's okay. All I said was 'hey'. But she never responded.

I just keep telling myself that she's probably busy, right? I mean she has a life too, and she probably had work all week. But I can't just not think about her- I mean we technically had a thing. And don't ask me what I mean by 'thing', because I don't even know.

I still haven't gone to therapy yet, and I don't plan on it. It's not like I was in middle school, and I was going to the counselor. No. I'm a grown woman and I was going to my therapist. Yet she still told my mother, all my business. That was definitely not appropriate at all. It just doesn't make sense.

But I guess I'm not worried about that anymore, I won't hold that grudge. Besides, I'm more focused on Jennifer. I just can't stop thinking about her, it's really a problem. I need to see her, or at least talk to her soon.

I just need to keep my mind busy so I don't start overthinking about her. So since I'm off work today, I decided I'd try and actually do something that gets my brain working, and distracted.

I was really big into art in Highschool, until everything went down in college. I never even picked up a paintbrush after what he did to me. While it was happening, after a while my mind went blank, and I just let him do whatever. But I kept imagining myself just at my dorm, painting. Like that's where I could've been if I hadn't gone to that stupid party.

I might've even thought about it so hard that I convinced myself I was actually there. But I eventually snapped out of it, and of course, I was still in the situation.

He ruined a lot of things, including that hobby of mine. But I'm supposed to be getting better, right? So this is me working, and taking steps to bringing my old self back.

I still had a lot of my old art stuff upstairs in the office room, so I went up there and took some paint and paint brushes out, and a canvas. I got some water in a cup from the bathroom, then I brought it back to the office and put the paintbrushes in it.

I didn't have a certain image in mind, I just started painting. I figured it would lead me somewhere. I hear the front door open, and my mom walk in from downstairs. She's stopping by to drop Sarah off for 3 days. Just to hang out.

"Leah?" My mom calls out. "Up here!" I say. I head them come upstairs, and walk into the office. "Sarah's here." She says and walks in. "I can see that." I say once Sarah walks in. "Are you painting?" Sarah asks. "Yeah. Do you want to?" I ask. "Sure." She smiles and sits on the floor across from me. "There's some canvases in that drawer." I say and point to it.

"I'm glad to see you painting again." My moms smiles and I nod. "Me too." I say. "Okay, well I guess I'll leave you girls to it." She says. "Ok, bye." I say. "Bye Sarah." She says and kisses her head. "Love you guys." She says and walks out the door. We tell her we love her, then she leaves.

We both continue to paint and talk about random stuff. I end up painting this random silhouette of a girl, and Sarah paints some flowers.

Eventually we go tired of that and decided to order food since it was starting to get late. Once we got the food, we sat down and watched a movie while we ate.

"Did you bring your bathing suit?" I ask. "Yeah." She nods. "Well maybe we can swim one day, if you want to." I shrug and she nods. "Okay." She says and continues to watch the movie.

We finish up our food, and it's pretty late now, so we got ready for bed and went upstairs. We're both in my bed since we always slept together when we were younger. "Has mom said anything else about me lately?" I ask and Sarah sighs like she's annoyed. "What?" I ask. "I just- hate being in the middle of all this." She says and I look at her. "No- she hasn't said anything..." She shakes her head no and I nod.

"But you still never answered my question." She says and I tilt my head. "Who's Jennifer?" She asks and I roll my eyes. "A friend." I shrug and sit up. "Then why'd you and mom make such a big deal about her?" She asks and sits up too. "It wasn't about her, it was how mom found out about her, it's stupid. I don't really wanna talk about it." I shrug.

"She seems special to you.." She says and I raise one brow. "Jennifer...you have a soft spot for her." She says and I look down as I can't help but smile when I think about her. "See!" She giggles. "She is special." I shrug. "Lee? Do you like girls?" She asks and I look at her.

I just shrug and lay back down on my back. "Do you?" She asks and looks at me. "I don't know! It's weird talking about this with my little sister." I say and she rolls her eyes. "No it's not. It's normal, you're the one making it weird." She says and I sigh.

It stays quiet for a little, then I finally speak. "I don't know if I like girls...but I like Jennifer." I shrug. "You have a girl crush." She shrugs and I raise one brow. "Everyone has one at least once in their life. It's okay." She smiles and so do I.

I know Sarah can be annoying, but I love talking to her. She's very mature for her age, she understands things more than most adults.