You Get Me

19-Promise

*leahs pov*

It's been 3 months since everything.  a lot has happened. Some things were good, and some...not so good.

For example. I got a promotion and I actually make drinks at work now. Also I'm going out with Mason next friday. I don't know if I'm into him, but I think it'll be good to try and have more romantic interactions with people.

On the other hand, the bad stuff was when we had a family reunion and I got absolutely slammed by my relatives. So many questions and concerns about me. I felt like I was tied to a probe table and they were all just poking at me with very sharp topics. It was hard, but I kept my temper, and hopefully they understand my situation a little better now.

I still haven't talked to Sarah about it. She knows about everything but she thinks talking about it with me will make embarrassed about it. And that's thoughtful of her for actually thinking about my feelings rather than how everyone else attacked me.

I've been spending more time on myself. I've been working out and eating better. I also take Andy on a walk everyday like I should've always done.

And believe it or not, but i'm actually going to therapy regularly. And it is Dr.Ross. I had a serious talk with her, and she promised she wouldn't share any of my business with anyone.

I still think about Jennifer....a lot. I'm not as hard on myself about it as I used to be. I don't regret anything. I don't wish back on it. If anything it was an opportunity for growth.

Some days it is a struggle to even get up in the morning. Even though I'm better, doesn't mean I'm at my best. I'm still going through it, and learning along the way.

It does suck because sometimes I think about Jennifer a little too deep. Like how I pictured her in my future. I wanted to go places with her. Sometimes I see things or experience things, and my first thought is to share it with her.

Even when I found out about everything, I wanted to call her and talk to her about it. Sounds stupid doesn't it? But that's just how it is sometimes. Atleast it's not as bad at it was.

I would cry all night and not get any sleep. I just still couldn't believe it. I thought I'd wake up and she'd be back. But she never came back. And I knew she wouldn't, I knew better. But that didn't stop me from dreaming about everything going back to how it was.

All of it really did change me as a person. It's changed my look at things. I can't put all my dependence on one thing. I have to remember to have a limit, and stay to myself.

If not then I'll get too hooked on something...or someone, and I'll end up hurt. I already learned that lesson, and I'm not falling down that hole again..

I'm on my way to my parents house since they're going out and they need me to watch Sarah.

Once I get there, my mom greets me at the door. She asks me how I'm doing, and I tell her the truth, which is good.

Both my parents end up leaving a little later, and it's just me and Sarah now.

"Here." I say and push the bag of pretzels closer to her. "I'm not hungry." She shrugs and pushes it back. "Okay." I nod and eat another one. She sighs and looks out the window.

"Hey." I say and she turns towards me. "What's wrong?" She asks. "Nothing." She says and forces a smile. I tilt my head and look at her like she's stupid. "Sarah, I pulled that card with mom all through middle school. I know somethings up." I say and she sighs.

"I'm just worried." She shrugs. "About what? Is something wrong? I ask. "No-I...I just worry about you." She says and I press my lips.

"Don't. I'm okay, just look out for yourself Sarah." I say. "How can I do that when you're my sister, and I care about you?" She asks and I smile. "I appreciate you worrying about me, I really do. But I promise I'll never do anything stupid again." I assure her.

She sticks out her pinky and holds her hand out to me. "Pinky promise." She says and I giggle. "What are you? 6?" I laugh and she tilts her head. I roll my eyes and lock my pinky with hers. "Pinky promise." I nod.

She smiles and giggles. "Now stop being sad. I want the Sarah I know." I smile and so does she.

I'm glad that Sarah brought up her feelings instead of just hiding them. I've had my fair share of that, and it's not fun.

The pinky promise might've been silly, but it was important. Now if I ever do think about doing something stupid, I'll remember that I have to keep my promise. If not for me, then for Sarah. And if not for Sarah...then for Jennifer.

A/N

omg i literally hate this book. its been the biggest pain in my ass and i'm so happy it's over, even though the ending AND the book overall sucked balls. but i am glad i got this idea out of the way. i've been thinking about it for a while, and it is actually based off of one of jens movies , Lila And Eve. i'm sure some of you have seen it and probably thought of how similar it is to this book. but if you haven't seen it then you should definitely go watch it cuz it's so fucking good and it made me cry AND it's on netflix so yeah. but thanks for sticking around with me for this book. i'm gonna start working on a book where jennifer is actually real- and it's gonna have some spicy stuff if ya know what i mean🥴 i'm either gonna do a sequel to Our Little Secret, or i'll try and make one of my drafts into a book sooo yeah👍🏼💕