You Get Me

17-Mind Block

*leahs pov*

I quickly went upstairs and into closet, just to find all the t-shirts that I thought Jennifer took. I literally watched her leave with them on. They're all here, but- they're supposed to be with Jen.

I look down as my hands start to shake. I walk out of my closet and go to my vanity. I squint my eyes and look in the mirror. I swear to god i'm going fucking crazy. I go back in my closet and grab all the shirts I thought Jen had. Then I go downstairs and throw them in the trash. Looking at them will make me even more confused.

I go back upstairs and just sit in my bed. I look up at the ceiling and repeat to myself, 'I am not crazy' because I'm not. There's obviously been some type of misunderstanding in my brain, and I'm just confused.

I don't even know why I thought about her not being real. I can't believe I really let that even cross my mind. She's just avoiding me, but that makes me so upset, I hurt her and she's upset. But she hurt me too.

-

I wake up the next morning and tears immediately start to fall down my cheeks once I remember the situation I'm in. It's just so stressful when I know I'm not crazy, but I don't know if that's how everyone else would see it. I can't sit here with this mindset by myself.

So I drive over to my moms house in the same clothes from yesterday. My mom opens the door and looks a little shocked. "You look terrible-." She says and I just walk in.

"Mom, please, I need to talk to you. Something-.... I just need help." I say shakily. She opens her mouth to speak, but she just nods her head and holds my hand. We go upstairs into her room and sit down.

"What's the matter baby?" She asks softly. "It's Jennifer.." I say and she tilts her head. "Tell me." She says. "I don't wanna sound ridiculous, but she disappeared out of nowhere and there's been no sign of her. Everything she had of mine is back where it was, her contact is non existent, a-and I even thought that she is too, but I was being ridiculous, and it hurts me to think she is avoiding me..." I ramble on and try not to cry.

She looks at me with her brows raised. "Non-existent?.." She asks and I nod. "Don't be silly Leah, she might be on vacation or something." She shrugs. "Mom she would've told me! And that still doesn't explain everything else. I just know she doesn't wanna see me." I say and she sighs. "Leah I think you need to see your therapist..." She says and I scoff. "That's your answer to all of my problems. Why can't you ever help me with something?" I ask with attitude.

"You need a professional, I'll make you an appointment with Dr.Ross." She says and stands up with her phone in her hand. "Oh my god- not her, anyone but her." I shake my head no. "She's the only one who already knows about your past situations, and it would be easier since she knows me too." She shrugs and starts to dial a number on her phone.

"Yeah, she knows you well enough to tell you all my business." I say and she just glances at me before walking out of the room with her phone to her ear. I lay back on her bed and just wait for her to come back.

"10 am, tomorrow." My mom says and I sigh. "I'm not telling her anything." I shake my head. "Well that's your choice. Your choice to not get any help, and you'll never figure out what's going on." She shrugs.

She's right. I do need to talk to her, for my own sake. I have got to get myself together.

-

I decided to sleep at my moms house last night, and I already have clothes here so it all worked out. I got dressed and got ready, very slowly. My mind is blank right now, and i'm trying to keep it that way. I don't want anything else getting to my head until i'm at my therapist to talk about it.