Tom Holland Imagines

Everything gets too much pt 2

TOMS POV 

"Babe, babe can you hear me?"

I was kneeling above y/n who was laying on the ground, eyes closed. The tears that had formed in my eyes when I was talking about her to Harrison just a second ago are gone, instead my eyes are filled with pure shock.

I exhaled deeply when her eyes slowly flattered open.

"God, babe, are you okay, what happened?"

Harrison was kneeling next to me and supported y/n to help her sit up. I was however still in so much shock I didn't know what to do.
"I'll get you a glass of water", Harrison said and rushed to the kitchen.

"What happened?", I asked again whilst I hold onto her hands. Y/n face is as pale as it could possibly be, the circles underneath her eyes are tremendous and I can tell she is on the brim of tears.

That's when I knew.

"You heard us didn't you?", I asked.

Before she could say anything, Harrison came back. "Here", he said as he handed her the water. Slowly, very slowly, y/n took a couple sips. "Thank you", she finally whispered, her voice breaking.

I gave Harrison a look he immediately got. "I'm gonna go now, do you need anything else?", he asked.

"Thank you, Harrison", y/n said and smiled weakly up at him. He kneeled down once more and pressed a soft kiss onto her hair before he gave me a concerned look and left.

"Wait a second", I said and ran to the living room to get her a blanket. I put it over her shoulders before I grabbed her legs and put them around my torso so I could wrap my arms around her.

"Hey", I said, my voice low. I took a loose strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear.

"Hey", she sniffed, trying to smile.

I looked at her for what felt like our own little infinity.

I didn't know what to say. How do you tell your girlfriend you know she's falling apart again. And how do you not let yourself think it's your fault.

She had told me last time that it wasn't mine. That her feelings towards herself, that what she did to herself had absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but herself. Nevertheless, I couldn't help it but blame myself. If only I had been there. If I had realized earlier that she started to struggle again. Maybe I could have prevented most of this.

"Tom", she started as I realized tears were streaming down my face.

"No." I quickly brushed the tears away. "This isn't about me. This is about you. Please, y/n, please tell me what is going on."

That was all it took for her to break down. I pressed her sobbing body against me and felt her wet tears on my neck. "I don't know", she mumbled. "I have no idea how that happened. It just kind of did. With covid and everything going on, I guess I just kind of, I fell back into old habits 'cause it always gave me a sense of being in control. And in lockdown, with all the missing rituals, always being home sitting in front of my laptop, not moving properly, the thoughts just started to consume me again. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"Hey, hey. No, babe. Don't be sorry. This happens. People relapse. But it's not your fault. But now we gotta make sure that we'll get through this. We will. Just please, please, never keep anything like this from me ever again. You need to talk to me when you're struggling."

She nodded, her sobs quieting down. "Okay."

"Now shall we get some food? I can make you some porridge. And then we'll talk about how to work with this."

Y/n leaned in and pressed a wet and salty kiss onto my lips.
"What would I do without you. I love you so much."