Tom Holland Imagines

Christmas special #11: Homesick

When you wake up the next morning, you still can't believe what happened last night. After the kiss everything went straight back to normal and both you and Tom pretended nothing had happened. Once he dropped you off home and you were laying down in your bed, all alone, you couldn't help it but feel an emptiness inside of you. You really badly wanted him to fall asleep next to you.

Today, the empty feeling is still there. You can't make yourself get up. You're not hungry at all and even through it's Friday and you still got two lectures before the weekend you decide to skip uni for the day. Y/f texts you, asking what's up and how the party was, but you only text back that it was good and that you just don't feel like getting up today.

All morning long you scroll through your phone, a Christmas movie rolling in the back. However, you can't seem to feel better. The emptiness isn't going away, if anything it's getting worse. Eventually, you're sick of your own bullshit and hop in the shower.

What's up with you today?

You blow dry your hair, put a light make up on and get the new home wear out you bought at Zara. The material is really soft and makes you feel a little better. You sit down on your sofa, your laptop on your knees. You can at least do some reading for uni. However, you can't concentrate. No way are you feeling this way just because of Tom right?

That's when your phone rings. You expect it to be him but when you pick it up, you're surprised to hear your mums voice. And that's when it hits you. The emptiness you feel inside, its homesickness. You miss your family.

"Hey mum", you say, trying to hide the fact that you're upset.

You talk for about an hour with your mum, telling her all about what's happened the last couple days but trying to leave out the fact the boy you're doing all these things with is Tom Holland. She'd only freak out if she knew.

Once you hang up though, the emptiness inside you seems so expand. You start thinking of your siblings and your parents, granny and granddad and everything they'd be doing on a Friday like this. Going to Christmas markets, eating dinner together. Watching a Christmas movie all cozied up on the sofa.

You put your laptop away, turn the tv on and lie down on the couch, a big blanket wrapped around you.

When your phone rings again you have no idea who it is. You grab it and see it's a message form Tom.

What are we doing today?

You shut your eyes. You really don't feel like pretending to have fun with him today. And neither do you want to deal with possibly talking about your kiss.

And at the same time, you have this craving for him. The urge to hug him tightly, press him against your body and feel all your sadness disappear for a while.

I'm not feeling very well today.

That's all you text back. As you don't get an answer, you start to worry that he might think you're trying to avoid him because of yesterday.

However, you can't think about it for long as soon enough your mind wanders back to your hometown and your room back in your parents' house. You picture the 3rd advent, when they will all be together but you'll be here, all alone.

Eventually, you doze off a little. You're awakened when your doorbell rings.

You jump up, confused who that could be. The postman maybe? But they usually come in the morning. And a quick glance outside shows you that you've pretty much missed the whole day as it's already starting to go dark outside.

When you open the door, you're more than surprised. Tom standing in front of you, in joggers and a hoodie, his hair a little messy which makes his locks more obvious. He waves with a movie in his hand and holds up a back. "I brought pizza and chocolate. And the polar express because I noticed you don't have that one in your collection and it's my favorite Christmas movie."

You let him in without saying anything. You're totally overwhelmed.

"I also brought some chamomile tea as you said you don't feel well and I didn't know whether you meant mentally or because you feel sick."
As he takes out the pizza you realize you've pretty much not eaten anything today and that you're incredibly hungry.

"Wow, I don't know what to say, thank you", is all you get out. You're still in shock.

Tom smiles shily. "It's nothing. You get comfy and I'll get everything done. And then you can tell me what's up yeah?"

You're about to object but Tom doesn't even look at you. So, you sit back own on the couch as he puts the pizza in the oven, heats up some water for the tea and puts all the different chocolates on a plate. Then he places everything on the coffee table in front of you and puts the dvd in. before he starts it though, he looks at you.

"Do you want to talk about it?", he asks.

You sit up and take the tea he made you into your hands. The hot cup really warms you up.

"It's stupid and once I told you you'll feel like all this amazing thoughtfulness is totally unnecessary."

Tom rolls his eyes. "No, I will not. No matter what you're feeling, your emotions are always valid, because they affect you."

You look at him. He's being really honest and serious. And you're so thankful for him right now.

So, you tell him about it. That you woke up feeling so incredibly homesick you couldn't get out of bed.

"I think it's because I saw you with your family yesterday and I talked to your mum for so long, it made me realize how much I miss my own family."

Tom puts his hand on your leg and gently squeezes it.

"Of course, feeling homesick sucks. But it's totally normal and wouldn't it be way worse if you didn't feel that way. This is just a validation that you love your family."

You nod. You've never thought about it that way.

"I tend to feel really homesick too when I'M away for work. My family often flies out and visits me when that happens. What do you think about just relaxing a bit and trying to get through this phase together? Because sometimes you just have to feel thins and cant really do anything about it."

Again, all you can do is nod.

Tom smiles, lifts your blanket up and puts it over the both of you.

"Let's watch this movie then, shall we?", he says and presses play.

You eat a bit of the pizza and the chocolates and finish your tea. The movie is still playing so you both lean back. Tom puts his arm around you and without thinking about it, you cuddle into his side. In this moment this just feels so perfectly right and you don't give it a second thought. Soon enough you're so comfortable that you drift off to sleep.