Authors POV
Tomorrow was the day. After a tense last few days JB and Cheryl were now in Newcastle for the auditions. JBs mind however being somewhere completely different. He was worried, worried she would reject him, worried she would think this was all too soon. He himself had thought that it was too soon but the more he thought about it the more he realised just how in love he was with Cheryl. She was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. She was the one that made his heart skip several beats everytime she smiled. It was one of those smiles, you know the ones that as soon as it appears in the room you automatically feel any bad moods lift, it was one that you couldnt help but mimick, it was infectious.
He had everything planned out to a T. Tonight they would drive to the place everywhere was set up, the cabin next door to be precise. JB would then go out when Cheryls asleep and make sure everything was perfect before going asleep himself. Of course with this plan there was plenty of things that could go wrong, plenty of things could happen and fail his plan but he hadnt prepared for that. If he was honest with himself he didnt really plan anything else other than the words he was going to say, that he had gone over one hundred times a day since he set his mind on it. The idea of anything bad happening or any obstacles rearing their head didnt occure to JB. He thought it would be easy a carefree ride, well he hoped.
Flashback
"I love you" They had only been dating two weeks, yes only two weeks. Now to you and i that sounds ridiculous, childish almost. Two weeks into the relationship and they were already letting those words leave their mouth but to them it felt right. Both their hearts were screaming at themselves to tell the other, dont deny it anymore just tell them. She was the one that made the first move, the one that told him first but then again she always was the more dominant one in the relationship, the one who liked to have control over everything. It was how she coped with every situation, take control of it that way you wont get hurt but with JB she could feel that control slipping. She liked not knowing what he was doing everyday as long as he came home to her. She liked how he cooked all the time or how he would randomly pop up with things they should do together. She felt loved, cared for. She felt something she had never felt before, intense love.
And he felt it too, if only stronger. His heart ached from the time he left her until he got to see her again even if it was just for a couple of hours to go to work. He hated it. He would constantly think of ways to make her smile, that was his favourite thing about her, her smile. It was like gold to him. The way he would send her roses to the house randomly during the day just because he knew the personal love behind that flower. He would catch himself thinking of all the tiny things she did, things Cheryl probably thought JB took no notice of, like the way her eyelashes would rub against the top of her cheeks when sleeps or the way that when she cries she'll try to blink them away and if that didnt succeed she would wipe them away with her hand before they were even allowed to make their way halfway down her cheeks.
Cheryl was his addiction just like he was hers so 'i love you' felt right, it left their mouth freely without any hesistation. They were in love and nothing could stop that.
He'd never forget the day she told him she loved him. It felt like his whole world had come together, it made him feel complete and now all that was left was to make her his, completely. The idea of being able to call her his wife made his smile double in side. Yeah he probably looked abit strange sitting in the judges room grinning to himself but he couldnt help it, the idea that in 24 hours she could have the ring that he got made for her sitting on her finger made everything complete. Little did he know in the other room Cheryl was thinking about other things, different things. Children.
A woman had come into the audition room, age 24, obsessed with her children. The love this woman had for her two children made Cheryls heart melt but sink at the same time. She could have that, she wished she had that. Her dream was always to have a family, her dream was for someone to wake her up in the morning and shout mam in her ear. For someone to be just as excited on Christmas as she is. The thought unsettled her. Would she ever be able to live that dream? Was it really too much to ask? Sure her and JB had talked about having children in the near future but was he that committed? She had been thinking of everything that they could do together but she had never had the guts to talk to him about it, she had never had the courage just in case he said no, in case he rejected her.
That was the funny thing. JB and Cheryl were both so similar. They had the same insecurities, the same negative thoughts. They thought exactly as one another but were too scared to act on any of it. As it is JB was using every will power in his body to be able to go through with the proposal. The negative thoughts however still very much present in his mind, just as the negatives about her future with JB where in Cheryls mind. He could see a future with her but she didnt know that. Not yet, but tomorrow she would. He would make it clear to her just what he wanted, he would make her realise just how in love with her he is. He would say everything that he was in love with.
Her eyes; the way they would draw him in. The way he was able to stare at them forever without having to look away. The way that when she told a story her eyes would give out more emotion then her voice.
Her dimples; everytime she smiled they would appear and he loved them. He loved how they made her look so angelic, how she was able to look so young but so mature at the same time. The way they made him not want to look away from her face, ever. He was completely in love with them.
Her heart; The way she cared about everyone around her, the way she would see if they were okay before she bothered about herself. The words she spoke coming out softly even if she was annoyed to the edge. The way she would completely involve herself into helping other people achieve their dream or helping to make their life better.
Her intelligence; She was smart but she never let on. She wasnt one to boast and he loved that. He loved how she could probably outwit nearly everyone but decided to keep it all to herself. Decided not to show off, to be humble.
He was in love with absolutely everything, besotted and he wasnt in any way trying to hide it. He even loved the way she would hide her body away. How she would still refuse to undress in front of Lily, who has been her assistant for years. The way she hated certain parts of herself but didnt show it. She believed in people being happy in their body and thats what she always gave off.
The truth is JB could go on forever and he still wouldnt have enough time to explain every single thing he loves about her, he was in love with her that much that he knew that tomorrow if she said no he wouldnt love her any different, he wouldn't force her. He would wait, wait until she was ready. Ready to be Mrs Fernandez-Versini.
