Im thinking of writing a chim fic, would you guys read it if i did?
Flashback in Authors POV
He always thought in school when he got beat up for his looks was the worst day of his life. He always thought nothing like this could happen to someone like her. She was so loving, so popular. She didnt have a bad bone in her body but when she started becoming more ill he knew he didnt have long with her, he knew that her days were numbered and those punches and kicks he used to recieve seemed like nothing, nothing but a pinch. This pain hurt more. It was a pain that travelled to every inch of his body, a pain that travelled to his heart. These things were meant to happen to bad people, not her. She was his world, the person he looked up to the most and here he was now. Sitting on the floor in the corner of his room tears streaming down his face. Hes in no bid to stop them, he doesnt care. He's seventeen years old and destroyed.
He would look out the window occasionally and see all the other boys his age out with girls or mucking around on their bikes looking happy. What was happy when your world was crashing down?
He had everything he could ever wish for toy wise. His dad spoilt him rotten, ever since THAT day. The pain was like no other, like someone else pulling on your insides in a game of tug of war, like someone using a knife to make an incision on every single one of your organs. She looked perfect, she looked alive. Like a doll in a box sitting on a shelf, her naturally long eyelashes that he always admired resting on her cheeks. Her favourite flower surrounding her. It was almost like a dream like she was playing a game of sleeping lions or something with him, he wished it was. Everyone that day tried to make him feel better, everyone said the pain would get better but it never did. He tried everything to find a release, everything that he could think of but the pain was still there, he still cried day in day out for her.
Thats the funny thing about people, you take them for granted when theyre with you. You think every argument is neccesary, every disagreement is needed and when they get taken away from you, you realise that the precious time you spent doing that you could of been making happy memories. When they go the last conversation you had with them runs through your mind, your thoughts making you repeat it constantly, hoping that you said nothing negative in them, hoping there was nothing said that would make them go away hating you.
He did that constantly. The last conversation he had with her when she was on her bed, her last moments. He told her everything he had hid from her, every feeling, every hope, every desire. He put his heart on display for her, for her last moments but he didnt feel any better. He felt worse if anything. He never realised just how much he had kept from her, how closed he had been from her for so long. He was never a good boy, never a boy that stayed on the right path for very long but THAT day changed him. He knew he needed to do everything for her, make everything better in his life because she would be watching down on him and he wanted her to be proud he really did.
It was just the pain.
He couldnt overcome the pain. No matter how hard he tried. God shouldnt take innocent people, she was an innocent person. Thats what he thought, he had it in his mind that it should of been him that was taken instead of her, he wasnt innocent. It was his fault all these things had hit his family in his past, i mean he was from the wrong side. He was bad, into all the things he shouldnt be and it caused trouble for his family, the consequences came back on them so was this because of him? Had she been punished for what he had done in his past? He promised her years ago he would turn it around but then she got ill and he got scared, how do you control that emotion? When you wake up and fall asleep everyday frightened that you wont be able to see her face because it would of been too late, frightened that in those 12 hours you're in a blissful sleep shes in bed dying bit by bit every second, pain rushing through her body.
I mean he couldnt cope with the heartache he was going through now, the heartache that hadnt got any easier since it happened so he doesnt want to know the pain she felt, he doesnt want to know what made her cry everyday, what made her scream that she wanted to die. He couldnt bare the sounds, he couldnt bare the thought, it saddened him. It made him feel emotions he didnt know how to respond too, he didnt know how to cope with them and now he was left alone, without her and he didnt know what else to do. He didnt have the advice he needed from the one person he knew he could get it from, he couldnt get her to show him new things or tell him how her day went. He couldnt phone, text or any other sort of communication. He was broken and nobody could see it, nobody could see it because he had built his wall so high nobody knew nothing but a mean, spoilt, spiteful young teenager. If only they knew the truth, if only anyone bothered to see behind that wall they would know they were wrong, they would know that all he needed was some comfort, some love. All he needed was the one person who left his life not so long ago but what felt like forever. He needed his mum.
