Only a small update and i don't particularly like the way I've written it but I thought I'd try and make the updates more regular. Thank you for reading x
JBs POV
I walk into the house to be greeted with The sound of Cheryl cursing and smoke filling the air.
"Babe" I call out following the smoke into the kitchen.
"No go away, get out" I catch a glimpse of her, huddled in the corner, tears streaming down her face. I instantly worry.
"Babe what's wrong, what's happened in here" I reach out to touch her but she moves away, out of my reach.
"I happened, every time I try and do something it fails" she lets the tears run more freely down her face, not even bothering to try and brush them away.
"What do you mean"
"I wanted to make you a meal for when you come back, just like the romantic ones that you made me" I nod showing her im listening to everything she's got to say "and It said 20 minutes on the packet. look , 20 fucking minutes that's what I put it on for. I thought i set the timer. I thought I did" she talks fast and im only just able to understand her, she walks out the room whilst she's still talking, tears falling even harder. She's crying to the point of hardly being able to breathe and it scares me, breaks my heart.
Cheryls POV
I tried. I always only ever try. I just wanted to make something special like he has for me all them other times. I wanted him to know when he wasn't here I thought about him like he did of me but once again I ruined it, like I always do.
I hear him walk into the room but I don't move, I hunch even more into the duvet, closing my eyes, hoping he'll leave eventually. But he doesn't.
"Sweetheart"
"Go away" I feel his hand on my shoulder and I attempt to move it but he places it right back after.
"What were you doing"
"Attempting to burn the fucking house down what do you think I was doing" I know I'm being unreasonable but I just want him to go away, I don't want him to see this side of me. The vulnerable, no good side.
"Sweetheart please" I wipe all evidence of tears from my face before turning around and facing him.
"I was making lunch" I feel him cup my chin and I look away "it was meant to be your favourite, your dad gave me the recipe and said you loved it on a cold day and i thought today was that day but I messed it up, I mess everything up" I feel him wrap his arms around me but I don't move.
"You don't mess everything up. Look at everything you've achieved. So what you can't cook a fucking macaroni cheese bake. So what. I don't care. I don't care that you can't be romantic by cooking endless meals or making romantic dinners. I don't want that anyway, it's not you. And that's what I want, you"
"No you want a girlfriend who does sweet things so you can show her off and show how talented she is" I sigh pulling myself out of his arms and walking over to my dressing table, brushing my hair.
"No I don't want some over aged slag that gets her tits out and walks around the house half naked whilst cooking me some slap up meal and buying me expensive clothes so she can get a few shots of what's down my trousers. I want you, your quirkyness. Your cuteness. Your awful cooking but your amazing singing, dancing and your words of wisdom. Fuck sake when will you stop being so insecure and let me in"
I don't know what to say. Am I pushing him away is that what he's saying, is he mad or is he not I don't understand.
"I'm having one of those days" I whisper. He knows what days im on about. Those down days. "It was fine when you were here but when you left it got my thinking what if you leave one day and don't come back because I'm just boring old me. It sounds stupid I know but I thought if I cooked you a meal you'd stay and everything will be okay. I'm scared" I move from the table going back and sitting on the edge of the bed
"What are you scared of angel" I feel him pull me up onto him, cradling me in his lap, forcing me to look up at him
"I've never felt like this before. This amount of love. I don't know what it is and I sure as hell don't know how to handle it. I don't want it to go, I don't want you to ever go" I avoid his gaze, choosing to play with my fingers instead
"I need you to understand that I'm not going anywhere, you're my forever"
"I need you to understand that I can't help this" im still whispering, scared that if I speak too loud someone else might hear even though there was no one else around "these down days I have they bring this on, i can't control them sometimes it's like I'm being pulled in" he softly kisses my forehead, slowly moving down to my lips
"Let's make a deal" I nod "I'll help you if you let me in"
"I think I can manage that"
"Now how about dominos in bed whilst watching endless amounts of chick flicks and laughing our arses off until we fall asleep"
