t͓̽h͓̽i͓̽r͓̽t͓̽y͓̽s͓̽i͓̽x͓̽. y͓̽o͓̽u͓̽'l͓̽l͓̽ b͓̽e͓̽ a͓̽l͓̽r͓̽i͓̽g͓̽h͓̽t͓̽

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"we'll be a fine line, we'll be a fine line
we'll be alright"
fine line - harry styles
☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎ ☂︎

april 1st, 2020

eleanor had dealt with a lot of loss in her life.

the loss of a friend, of a lover, and even of a pet, but she'd never had to experience the loss of a parent .. at least not literally.

if she were being honest, she'd lost her mother awhile ago. the girl could never bring herself
to pick up the phone and mend the relationship she so badly wanted to, therefore resulting in the end of a relationship that no child should have to grow accustomed to.

and she hated herself for it.

eleanor hated that her pride had gotten the best of her. hated that she'd allowed herself
to become so full of herself. hated that in her mind , it wasn't her who should be doing the reaching out.

her friends had tried to get her to focus on all the positive aspects of her life, and although she loved and appreciated them, she wished they understood that she just needed space.

isaac was the complete opposite from her. he depended on their friends to get through this ; he depended on the distraction, and he was one of the few who didn't quite know how to take a hint when it came to begging eleanor to join him and his friends in a movie night.

"come on, len!" he begged the girl, "it won't be the same without you!"

she looked up at him from her place on her bed and sighed, "i just want to stay in, alright? you go and have fun"

"i'm not going without you."

"then i guess you're not going at all" she shrugged, turning her attention back to her tv. she didn't acknowledge her brother as he made his way over to her bed, taking a seat at the end of it.

"lennie, you sitting here and wallowing in your sadness isn't going to bring her back" he ignored her glare, reaching out and grabbing her hand, "mom wouldn't want you to sit here and shield yourself from the world"

"you don't know what she would want" she glared, ripping her hand out of his grasp, "we didn't know her isaac, so stop pretending like we did. i'm mourning what couldve been. let me do that in peace"

isaac frowned at his little sister. he hated seeing her this way, and hated even more that she blamed herself for something that was completely out of her control.

"you know this isn't your fault, right?" he asked her gently, "i know you're upset that you and mom never got the chance to have a relationship ... but len, that's not on you. you're the child. if anyone shouldve reached out, it was her"

"i was so prideful, isaac" she told him softly, her voice barely above a whisper, "i let my pride get the best of me"

"we both did, lee" he smiled sadly, once again reaching out to grab her hand, "i didn't reach out to her either.. and i'm the older brother, so if you're going to be angry with anyone .. then be angry with me"

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