I Can't decide //Oumasai//

Chapter 24

Hi! Okay so, before we start I just wanna put a warning here okay?
Mentions of child abuse
Oh and a fight but like they make up!

Kokichi's POV:
I woke up to the sound of people chatting around the room. I turned over but I didn't see Shuichi. I sat up and rubbed my eyes and yawned quietly. "Morning Kokichi.", Rantaro waved from the couch. I nodded and walked to the restroom. I locked the door and washed my face and teeth. Squeaky clean now. I stepped out and walked into the kitchen. Shuichi isn't here either? "Morning Kokichi.", Peko waves. I wave back "Good Morning Kokichi.", Kirumi smiled. I waved once again "Where's Shuichi?", I asked. Kirumi dropped the fork. She stayed silent. "Uh? Do you know where he is?", I asked peko. She looked away quickly as if she was hiding something. "Where is he.", I asked raising my voice. Then, Kaede Walked In. "Where is Shuichi, Kaede?", I asked Turning to her. Her eyes grew wide and she walked out. I grew more mad and I walked out to the living room. "Where is Shuichi?", I asked Kaito. He froze and turned to me slowly. The room fell silent. "It's not out place to tell you...You can ask when he comes back.", Maki said. As if on cue, Shuichi walked back in looking sad. As soon as he saw me he froze. "Y-you aren't asleep?", he asked. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Where where you...?", I asked. "Let's talk upstairs please.", he said. I nodded hesitantly and we walked upstairs to my room. He locked to door and looked at me. "Sorry.", he mumbled. "Sorry for what?", I asked. "I...I woke up early to see my uncle.", He said quietly. Immediately I grew furious. "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SEE HIM?! HE HURT YOU!", I yelled. "Kokichi-", he started. "NO!", I yelled. "DID YOU FORGET THAT HE ABUSED YOU ALMOST YOUR ENTIRE LIFE?!", I yelled angrily. Shit, rage is getting the best of me. "Stop yelling.", he said. I turned around and cursed "WHY IN FUCKS NAME WOULD YOU VISIT HIM?!", I cried out. I turned back around and...Shuichi stood there with fear. Fuck. He took it the wrong way. Based on how he's in the corner and how I'm yelling, he thinks I'm going to...Oh fuck. "I-...", I trailed off. I reached out to him but he flinched and fell back making the lamp fall of the floor and that stupid lamp made a loud noise. Shit. Immediately, Kaede and Miu walked in. This scene looked so wrong. He was in the corner, on the floor, with pure fear in his face, and with the lamp on the floor. I had an angry face and I was still standing up. Kaede's eyes widened and she grew livid. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!", She yelled at me. "No-! I didn't do anything! The lamp fell and so did he!", I protested. "H-He didn't do anything.", He stuttered. "WHY ARE YOU ON THE FLOOR? IT LOOKS THAT WAY TO ME!", She yelled. Miu stood next to her and frowned. "Kaede calm down.", She said. "WHY WOULD I CALM DOWN?!", she yelled. "Kokichi didn't do anything. He wouldn't do that.", Miu explained. "Koko told me a while back that he wound hurt anyone...", Miu explained. Kaede turned to Shuichi who was already up and fixing the lamp. "He reached out to me...and I fell backwards.", he explained. That's when I felt it. The same feeling I felt the time I saw him die. I backed away in guilt and regret. "I...I'm...a bad person...I'm sorry.", I mumbled. A lump started to form in my throat and I pushed pass them and ran out of the room. "Where are you going?", Kirumi yelled as I ran out. I didn't answer and I just ran. A part of me wanted to go back and apologize but the other just wanted to run away from him. By the time I stopped running, I was in the lake. I ran pretty far. I sat down near the bridge and started at the water. I sat there in silence and I didn't even notice the figure walking towards me. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw....."Chiaki....?", I said confused. She nodded and sat down next to me. "So I heard what happened.", She said and she took of her backpack from her shoulders. She opened it and grabbed two candy bars. "Want some?", she offered. I hesitated and nodded. She handed me the chocolate bar and I took it. "You know...I used to be self- conscious about my body.", she smiled and took a bite of her candy bar. I opened the chocolate bar and took a piece of it. "But then...Hajime said...It's okay to be chubby. Personally, he finds it cool because I 'give the best hugs'.", she laughed. "Even Mikan and Ibuki told me the same thing.", she added. "Listen, I may not know you but...you should talk to Shuichi.", she smiled. I turned to her and looked back down to the lake. "Hey...can I have a bit of chocolate?", she asked. I nodded and handed her the chocolate. She took a piece "Thank you.", she said. I nodded and she ate it. So carefree. "Let's head back, yeah?", she smiled at me. I nodded and we walked back together. We made it back to my house and as soon as I opened the door arms wrapped around me. It was Shuichi. "Don't...run anyway like that...", he whispered. I hugged back "In sorry.", I sniffled. "There's nothing to be sorry for.", he said calmly. "There is. I...scared you didn't I?", I said. He pulled out of the hug and gave me a small smile. "It wasn't your fault. I've gotten used to it so normally, that was an impulse.", he said. I nodded and walked to my room quietly. I apologized, but why do I feel guilty? I felt annoyed at my small brain and how it can't comprehend feelings properly. Stupid brain, I hope you fail one day. Oh who am I kidding you always fail and I'll be brain dead anyways. I pulled over my hood and pulled my knees close to my chest. "I think I'll go to sweater town.", I mumbled softly. I put my legs inside the hoodie and rested my head on my knees. "Jesus Christ, it's been a while.", I thought to myself. I heard the door slowly open. "Kokichi..?". Oh. It's just Shumai. "He's not here. He's in sweater town.", I said grumpily. "Can he come out of sweater town?", He asked. I stared silent and pulled off the hoodie.
A/N: Did...Did you get the reference? Gravity falls...yeah...? :)
"There you are.", he smiled. "So, how was your trip in sweater town?", he asked. "It was good..", I trailed off. He sat down in my- nah, more like our bed. "Hm?" "It's Nothing. Just wondering why you're still sad.", Shuichi said. "Oh.", I said. "I feel guilty...that's about it.", I said turning to him. "After you left, I explained it to Kaede.", he said looked up at the celling. He seemed really interested in that white celling. I looked up as well. "Why are you looking at the celling? Is it interesting?", I asked. I tried to find whatever he was interested in. "No, It's not that. I just like looking at it. Habit I guess.", he shrugged. I nodded and looked back down. "You won't believe me but...you're not at fault here. It was on accident and it looked wrong so it's obvious people would think wrong.", he said. Calm but not quite. "I see...", I sighed. "Yeah.", he said. "Kokichi?" "Yes?" "You...you know I love you, right? You know I will always love you, right?", he said. I turned back to him "Hm? What brought this up?", I asked. "I just wanted to tell you.", he shrugged. "Yeah I know all that.", I said. "I love you too, Shuichi. And I will always love you.", I smiled back. He smiled and reached out for my hand. I took his hand and he pulled me towards him. I somehow ended up sitting in his lap, my legs wrapped around his waist, my arms wrapped around his waist as well, and my chin resting in his right shoulder. His arms were around me as well and his chin was also in my shoulder. I closed my eyes and he patted my back. I felt sleepy. It's also getting a bit blurry....I closed my eyes and darkness surrounded me.