ch 56 : i knew you only liked me for my looks

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The school year ended gravely as all the students grieved Dumbledore's death. That summer, news kept spreading of muggles being killed, and as the killings seemed to veer closer and closer to 4 Privet Drive, your guilt began to eat you up inside.

They were terrible people, but you couldn't stand the thought of them being brutally murdered by death eaters when you could prevent it.

You knew that you had to warn them if you wanted to have any semblance of a clear conscious. That decision was easy, but getting Sirius and Thelma to agree to your plan was a different story.

You had sat them down one evening amidst their plans to travel to the Weasleys' since London was becoming increasingly dangerous with numerous attacks on local muggles. They had immediately stopped their intense discussion when you entered the room, and they shared a look after seeing your nervous expression.

When you explained what you wanted to do, Sirius laughed, "There's no way in Azkaban we're letting you do that. That family can rot for all I care."

His blunt response had made you gasp and stare at him with wide eyes for a full minute. He tried to recover his mistake, knowing that you had experienced a lot of death recently, but you remained frozen for an eerily long minute, nonetheless. You were comforted when Sirius finally sighed, "Alright, we can...we can let you do that."

Thelma shot him a look but finally relented as well after seeing the relief on your face.

Both of them wanted to find some way to help you, but it had been a rough summer for you and Harry following Dumbledore's death and the increased isolation at 12 Grimmauld Place. You hadn't seen George since Christmas at the Weasleys' because of the dangers in London lately, and they knew that this couldn't be helping with your anxieties.

You ended up getting Harry, who agreed to come with you to fetch the rest of your things that the two of you had left behind a few years ago when you left the house in a hurry. Neither of you were thrilled to be going back, but Harry understood your desire to prevent more death if they could help it.

Harry recognized a helplessness and worry in you these days, and he was feeling it too. You both felt isolated and destroyed inside, but neither of you knew how to talk about it, so you mimicked each other, acting unbothered and recovered, but Thelma and Sirius could tell that neither were alright from your aimlessness and clouded focus.

Thelma had humorlessly whispered to Sirius one day after watching the two drift around the house absently that they had two ghosts dwelling with them at 12 Grimmauld Place. You and Harry were unaware of the way your phantom smiles and drifting movements were being perceived the others in the house. You were just trying to get through each day with a bit more strength than the day before, and each morning, you felt a little more human again.

So, that day, as you and Harry snuck off to the Dursleys' without announcing their departure to Thelma and Sirius, you just tried to get through the moment. For you, this meant just preventing the unnecessary deaths of your cruel loved ones. For Harry, this meant doing his best to support his sister.

As you opened the front door and stepped inside, you were instantly disgusted by the foul smell of body odor and garbage that the Dursleys' home always smelled of. You hid your disgust and called out, "Aunt Petunia! Uncle Vernon! It's Y/N and Harry! We need to talk urgently!"

Aunt Petunia rounded the corner with a large knife in her hand. She snarled, "What are you doing back here? That black-haired witch came here last year and said you would never be returning."

You blinked and replied, "Oh, Thelma isn't a witch. She's a muggle, like you-"

"Get out of my house," Aunt Petunia spat as she jutted the knife forward to remind you and Harry of what she held.

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