Chapter Four

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I woke up on the hall way floor, my head pounding and my stomach hurting so, so bad. My left wrist and right ankle hurt like complete hell too.

I then pushed myself up, ignoring the pain shot across my whole body, feeling like I had white hot poking irons for bones.

I looked at the time on my phone to see it read 4:38 AM. Fuck. I'd been here the best part of eight hours.

I limped to my room, wincing at the sight that met me in the mirror. The left side of my face was practically covered in dry blood coming from the gash on my forehead that looked really fucking nasty. My nose has also visibly been bleeding, same with my now swollen lip. My right eye was black, purple and also slightly swollen.

I went into the tiny bathroom and cleaned myself up, being extremely careful around the gash on my forehead that honestly looked really deep.

I then stripped myself of my clothes and jumped into the hot shower. The shower stung, a lot. My body ached everywhere. There were also bruises every where already.

"I'm sorry Heaven." I whispered as I picked up the deadly piece of sharp of metal. I stared at it for a moment, contemplating whether I should or not. You deserve it. You don't deserve a proper family like the one you had. Your a freak. Your worthless. Your fat and your ugly! How would you have competed with Heaven? The tiny voice in my head told me.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as my mind waged a war against me, so I fought back. I pushed the blade into my leg and dragged it down. The blood started to mix with the water immediately, the sting bringing relief, the pain stopping that war, making me feel calm as I watched the blood swirl with the clear water.

But the relief didn't last long, the shouting match re-commenced as the stinging began to subside, so I pushed and dragged again, smiling stupidly at the blood. I deserve this.

I sighed as the put the blade down, six bleeding cuts now lined my leg. I got out the shower and wrapped myself in a towel before going into my room and changing into a Bring Me The Horizon pullover and some leggings.

I slowly and silently went downstairs to find some painkillers, finding the cupboards pretty much empty. Note to self- shop for this bastard soon.

I took the pain killers and slowly limped back to my room, collapsing on to my bed and falling asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes I couldn't find the energy to get myself out of bed. Or I couldn't because of the amount pain I was in. The beating was coming harder and more often.

I was becoming sick and tired of everything. Everything was getting out of hands. Mum was still unsuccessful.

~~ 3 1/2 weeks later ~~

"Worthless piece of shit! Be careful and remember your manners next time!" He spat at me, leaving me on the floor in tears. I could hear him storming around downstairs before the front door slammed shut, causing me to flinch.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand to find blood. Not again. I was beginning to feel really light headed and my head was pounding still. He had smashed my head against the wall and the gash on my forehead and opened up for the fifth time, now bleeding again.

Using my desk I pushed myself up.

I'd barely been able to go to school. Not the way I was looking. They would know something was up, and I couldn't risk dad hurting them if they found out and told someone.

My stomach was growling loudly from the lack of food I had been receiving.

Riley, Ethan and Holly said they were starting to worry. They told me mum and Evan were trying, but were becoming unsuccessful in trying to get sole custody back.

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