Black Light (Naruto)

Chapter 39

Hello! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

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Hikaru had talked to Tenzo. He'd gotten a somewhat okay reply, as long as a description of the dreams, along with 'you are the second person to ask me about this'. And when Hikaru had pried about that, he'd gotten something along the lines of the fact that not only did Kakashi know about Tenzo's dreams and such, he looked highly suspicious. 

Hikaru hated the fact that Kakashi was so suspicious of him, but there was nothing Hikaru could do about it. There was nothing that could be done other than explain the truth and beg him not to tell anyone, but so many people already knew. 

And Hikaru was sick of it. 

He was so sick of doing this, sick of being this weak and fragile. He was tired of holding up the world with the palms of his hands, he was tired of doing everything by himself and it would just be so nice to relax for once. 

He remembered the day in his training grounds, when he'd fallen asleep. 

He hadn't exactly known then that everything would hit him like a brick, but Naruto and Jiraiya were gone on their training trip, Sakura was with Tsunade now, and Sasuke was being trained by Kakashi. 

There was nobody close to him anymore, and all he could do was go on missions and slowly but surely eliminate the Akatsuki. Not to mention fixing Konoha from the inside out- he'd put in a request for the Academy to introduce tree-walking in their cirriculum, and teach them exactly what that meant. 

Times of peace never lasted, and they never would. Hikaru had learned this. 

And he hated that he'd had too in the first place, but when he looked back, everybody did nothing but step aside. Everybody did nothing when he had been hit by a shop owner in the middle of the street in front of his teammates, and then they'd had the nerve to avoid the subject entirely. 

Nobody believed in him until he gave them a reason too. 

Nobody really needed him to save them until he showed them that he could.

And while Hikaru didn't exactly miss those times, he was tumbling back to somewhat forgotten memories of every single last incident of when he was thrown out of shops for being what villagers did not like. Shop owners didn't like rowdy, stuck-up shinobi, but he was worse for being a useless child. 

Hikaru hadn't been born with a kunai in his hands, as someone had said once. He had every reason to hate Konoha, he could list so many incidents in which he could have left, in which he actually thought about doing so, but didn't because someday there might have been someone that would miss him. 

But, no, there wasn't anybody that missed him. He was the one missing others that died because of him or didn't get to see where he made it too. He was the one being held higher than the rest as a hero, as a savior, but he didn't do more than the rest. 

He was a coward. 

And Hikaru finally accepted that. 

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Hikaru wanted to leave. He wanted to run as far away as possible, go to where no suspicious shinobi could reach, leave untraceable tracks. There wasn't anything stopping him, either. He could leave Konoha one day and just never look back. 

The first time he considered it, he thought about all he had to lose. 

Kakashi, for one. No matter how much the other was suspicious of him, they would remain 'friends', or so Hikaru hoped they were. Maybe at least aquaintences. It would work out better than being friends.