Black Light (Naruto)

Chapter 49

Hello! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Trigger: Panic attacks and anxiety attacks. Mention of r*pe.

____

As winter approached swiftly, Hikaru found himself slipping down a slope of never-ending nightmares. It was his- well, all of theirs- first winter since the war, and even Naruto looked a little more glum and grim.

Flashbacks woke him up at night, reaching for a weapon of which was no longer there. Hikaru would have to get a new sword, even though nothing would be as familiar as his old one. His ANBU mask hung in his bedroom- staring and creepy somehow, brilliant white sometimes lulling him to sleep, other times giving him nightmares. 

Still, he sat in his living room with seals and stared at them. His hand held the brush, dipping it cleanly into the jet black ink. 

Nothing. 

He stared at the seal meant to block off Diedara's explosions, having meant to modify it. It wasn't completed quite yet, after all. 

He stared even more. His hands were trembling, the tips of his fingers ice cold. A few more beats of oppressing, thick silence, filled only with the movement from his breathing.

Hikaru didn't know what to do with himself. He really didn't, although he needed to move and he needed to do something, he just couldn't. There was no inspiration behind it, only necessity. But Hikaru just couldn't. 

His limbs had locked, staring down at the seal, ink dripping off the tip of his brush and staining the page below. He didn't want to do this, but he couldn't move. 

His hands shook even more, and his body started to tremble. 

What the hell was happening? 

He didn't understand. 

His heartbeat echoed in his head, and his eyes were locked onto the seal. Everything spun around him, the room flipping over and over, the movement condensed to his stomach. 

Something rotated in his mind, something he couldn't quite recall. There was something... off. 

Chills flew down his spine. 

He couldn't move. He couldn't move and he would die if he kept still-

But he couldn't move.

Violet eyes locked onto the seal. Chills flew down his spine, into his legs, ghosts of fingertips brushing against them. Static-like tingles filled his body, and Hikaru was frozen, just like that day and he couldn't breathe-

Floating. It was a dream-like feeling, much like how he'd imagine a feather felt. But it was, at the same time, so unbelievably real and fingertips scattered all over his chest and-

Eyes locked onto the seal once more, although the kanji started to fade from his vision. 

He still couldn't move, static all over his body now, a pressing blankness in his head. He was shaking, shaking, fucking shaking and he was sick of it.

One deep, trembling gasp. 

Then pain. 

It was in his chest and stomach, hurting like he was going to throw up, heartbeat pulsating everywhere. He could feel everything too much, like he was going insane and he-

The door opened, revealing Hikaru sitting still, staring blankly at an almost-finished seal. 

"Hikaru-sensei? You alright?" Naruto's voice boomed, too loud in his ears and in his mind, echoing over and over and over like the tapping of raindrops on a metal roof.