Insanely Insane|| Lams

Chapter 14

John's POV

i'm awaken by someone shaking me vigorously from my oh sweet slumber.

"what." i hissed and when i looked up at who woke me i shot up and moved away from them.

"j-...jessica" i say and she smirks and sits on my bed.

"hey johnny boy" i grimaced. what the fuck.

"dont call me that. what are you doing in my room in the middle of the night." i say and she chuckles

"did you tell alex the truth?" she says and i look away

"w-what do you mean?" i say

"you know what i mean. whore." she says and i flinch

"jessica...you know what happened..." i say and look down

"oh..sure i do. but you were the one that asked for it. you're such a slut that everyone man just wanted a piece of tha-" i've had enough.

"shutup! just shutup! y-you're fucking crazy! you're just a little bitch you deserve to be in here!" i say shouting quietly

"and you don't ?" she says and tilts her head to the side a little with that smirk still plastered on her stupid face.

"no. i dont. what happened was an accident" i say and she laughs

"sure sure. killing your dad was an accident...tell me john who pulled the trigger?" i didn't say anything as i teared up..sure my dad wasn't all that great but he was my dad...

"tell me johnny boy..who. pulled. the. trigger" she laughs loudly. i can't handle it. i can't. i can't. i can't!.

'do it john'. the voice says in my head. 'the little bitch deserves it'. yes. yes she does. i lunge at her making us both fall off the bed as we wrestle each other on the floor.

"you little bitch!" i scream at her

'do it john.' the voice is back
'do it'
'do it'
'do it'
'DO IT'

i wrapped my hands around her neck and start to choke her.

'kill her.'

'kill her john.'

"h-help! s-someone!" she can barley get any words out as her eyes roll to the back of her head. I squeezed her neck tighter until i'm pulled off of her.

"let me go! LET ME GO!" i scream as i tried to get out of whoever just pulled me off of that little brat.

"dammit john calm down!"..i know that voice....i turn around and look at alexander..

"w-what are you doing here?" i say and he gets up and grabs my arms and takes me to a room with no windows. Just a bed and a toilet.

"h-hamilton?...this is scary.." i say and look at him.

"what the hell was that in there john?! huh!?" he yells at me and i flinch

"i-i dunno.." i say and fiddle my fingers..

"yes the hell you do! explain it to me! why would you try to kill a kid?! laurens! talk to me! i n-" i cut him off

"THEY TOLD ME TO DO IT!" i shout as i let out a sob and fall to the floor..

"who told you to do it john?" he says and crouches down in front of me

"the voices..she deserves to die. she's a no good little bitch." i say and he stands up and rubs his hands up and down his face...

"oh my god..." he mumbles..

"you're insane.." he says and i look up at him

"what did you just say?" i ask hoping i heard him wrong

"i said you're insane!..i-i can't believe i let myself get involved with a patient in an insane asylum." he says as he pulls at his hair.

i stand up "fuck you!" i say

'do it.' the voice says

'no. i won't.' i fight back i won't hurt him.

'he deserves it.' the voice says back

'i said no dammit!' i shout to the voice

'DO IT JOHN! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! HE NEVER DID'

i look at alexander with tears in my eyes as he keeps mumbling to himself about how he shouldn't have gotten involved with me...

he doesn't love me...he never did....the voice is right..he's right..

"i..i hate you!" i push him up against the wall as i wrap my hands around his neck

"j-john" he tries to push me away from him

'snap his neck.' i squeeze harder.

"j-john...i-...didn't mean what...i s-said" he wheezes out

"i...love you....john...i love y-you very m-much" he says and i shake my head. i don't believe this bastard.

'hurry!'

'we don't have much time'

'do it'

the voice keeps taking over my head as i watch alexander's eyes roll to the back of his head and his body becomes limp..i let him go as he falls to the floor and i sit on the bed.

'good job.'

i look down at my hands and then at alexander... oh no....oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no

"alexander!" i go over to him and shake him

"oh no.. my sweet baby...oh no oh no oh no" i try to do cpr but i'm no good it's not working, but it doesn't mean i'll stop trying.

'what are you doing ?!'

"go away!" i shout

'you can't get rid of me john.'

"i said GO AWAY!" i screamed and the voice didn't respond. i keep trying to bring alexander back

"come on hamilton..you're strong enough you can do this! come on!" i tilt his head back and breathe into his mouth.

nothing.

i pump his chest and breathe into his mouth and i keep repeating my steps..but nothing is happening...

he's lying there on the cold ground...lifeless

"move out the way!" another doctor said as they rushed into the room

"someone call 911!" she shouts. I see peggy rush to the room and she stares at alexander's body...shocked..

"john.." she looks at me

"what did you do.." she says with tears in her eyes as she runs back to her desk to call 911

what did i do?

he was so good to me...treated me like i was normal...

but im not..i killed my father.. i was raped which made me disgusting...

everyone thought i wanted it..thought i was giving myself out but i wasn't...i didn't want to get beaten up by anyone in here i was trying to be good so i can leave this place but when Dr.Hopkins tried to touch me that one day i freaked plus he ripped up the only picture i had of my mother...i had enough of it so i stabbed him.

but hamilton? he did nothing wrong. he called me insane but he's right i am.

i always will be..

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SORRY IF THERE WERE ANY ERRORS!! I DID NOT GO OVER THIS SINCE IT IS 1:40 a.m. in florida😎
GOODNIGHT ✨