Cancer//adopted by my chemical romance

Chapter 9:

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I snap my eyes open to see my alarm chaotically buzzing.

School

Fuck.

I quickly shut it off and jump out of bed, not wanting to upset my father and cause a beating.

It's 7.00 am school doesn't start until 8.30, I have about an hour to be ready.

I decide to get myself dressed, and walk towards the drawers, pulling out the ripped pair of jeans that Gerard had got me yesterday, as well as one of the tops and chokers, I debate wearing the leather jacket but think against it, it's too expensive, I can't risk it getting defaced or stolen.

As I go to pull off my hoodie that I had slept in I immediately notice the crusted blood congealing over my little 'session' from last night, the blood no doubt also crusting my thighs,

Maybe I should have a shower.

I think to myself, as I pick up my clothes and walk towards the bathroom.

The scabs are fine, but the remains of stale blood littering my skin can definitely go, I'm not exactly a neat freak, but I don't think anybody would be particularly happy with smeared blood all over their arms and legs, even if it is their own.

I shower quickly, making sure to keep my hair out of the stream of water as I clean out my cuts.

The water is hot, so hot that it burns, but I prefer it that way; either painfully hot or frightfully cold.

After my shower I make quick work of getting changed into the ripped jeans, thankfully the cuts being low enough down that my cuts aren't at risk of being visible, and the rest of my clothes, before brushing out my long hair.

It falls in my face, and I brush it into my side swooping fringe adding volume slightly to it with my brush, before setting it with the hairspray that Gerard had got me.

It looks good, the best it's been in a while, as it had actually made an effort with it.

I feel more confident having actually made a small effort with myself, and decide to add a tiny flick of eyeliner to my face, which I had stolen months ago.

I had felt too awkward to ask Gerard for any yesterday, and we hadn't really been near any shops that sold it, expect for being stores in the mall, and I hadn't wanted to enter those.

My naturally pale skin definitely stood out with all the black, and I had a feeling it was quite noticeable.

Personally I liked my pale skin, and my dark aesthetic, but I know that I was going to get picked on for it, it had happened before, it will happen again.

And yet I'd rather turn up as my whole self rather than something I'm not, I'm going to be anxious, as I always am, but I'd rather be myself and anxious, rather than someone I'm not and anxious.

i turn away from the mirror, and exit the bathroom, taking yesterday's clothes with me and stuffing them in the drawer, I notice the time 7.35.

I decided to listen to some music for a little bit, it's only about a twenty five minute walk away, and I don't want to be early, that would be weird, especially on my first day.