Cocoon

Chapter 10: Buried Dreams

[OLETTE]

"Ha... home sweet home." I say to myself coldly--even to myself I sound sarcastic. Surprise, surprise, no one answers me. Of course no one would greet back. In the dark condo unit, I was all alone. No one to greet me back when I get home... No one to look forward to... No one waiting for me to come home safe and sound.

Ugh. I hate it that I'm single. More than half of my former highschool classmates had moved in to live with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Me? Well, I'm stuck single for life... Oh, I hope not for life.

But then finally, one guy... ONE man finally took notice of me, took an interest on me... and that guy just had to be Harvey. I mean, it's not that I don't like him. He's...cute and charming in his own little way. And though I always treat him coldly, he never seems to take it too personal or in the wrong way. He actually looks like he enjoys putting up with my icey attitude. And that was really... sweet of him.

But what did I do? He asked me out, and I said no. No wonder I'm still single!! UGH!

I looked over and saw my answering maching lighting up. Oh yeah. If there's one thing that greets me almost everyday whenever I get home, that's the answering maching. I pressed the button, already knowing who left messages.

First, Mom.

"Honey, how are you? How's things there in NYU? Getting good and high grades, I hope. Haha, of course. Well, listen, if you're interested, I just spoke to a Modeling Agency and when I sent those photos of yours from last summer, they immediately called me up to ask if you're free for an interview this weekend. Please call me back and tell me what you think, okay sweetie? Thanks, good night."

Modelling... yeah Mom, I told you... I got over that when I finished high school. Please don't make me do it again. I had another three more calls from her, asking the same thing all over again and urging me to call her back soon when I'm not busy.

I'll call her later, after thinking of a diplomatic way to reject the offer.

Then, Dad.

"Nicolette..."

Ugh. I hate it when he anyone calls me that.

"Nicolette, I talked with your professor in Sales the other day and I hear that you're doing pretty well in all your subjects. Keep it up, and I'm sure to be able to get you in the company with an executive position immediately. Make me proud, honey. Good night."

And then another call from him that almost sounded like an afterthought,

"And oh yeah, don't worry about the Modelling and your mom honey. I already convinced her that you already have too much on your plate to be meeting up with the agency for an interview. So don't worry about calling your mom back, I've got it covered."

Great, that saves me the trouble of rejecting her offer.

And the last, and most irritating caller, Tom, my cousin who is already working in my Dad's company.

"Hey Letty!! How ya doing?"

For the record, I hate "Letty" more than I hate Nicollete, so that's one of the reasons I can't stand the guy.

"Heard from Uncle that you're doing pretty well with your studies. He even told me that as soon as you're done in Graduate school, you'll be all set in the company with an executive position already." he laughs for a long time, "Well, that's pretty easy for you, huh? Always getting the things you want the most without working too hard to get it. Most of us here in the company had to work our way to the top, starting as interns. But you skip all those don't you? All because you're the CEO's little one and only princess?"

IF Harvey thinks I'm sarcastic, well, he hasn't met my cousin yet. His middle name is SARCASM.

"Well, I'm working pretty hard myself, coz' and who knows, maybe I can work things out on my favor. Just don't get your hopes too high, okay Letty? You won't always get what you want. Goodnight now."

And that's it.

I groaned and made my way to the soft solace that is my bedroom. Among all the calls I received today, as usual, it was Tom who got into my nerves the most. He's the main reason why I took up Graduate school for Business. I will not let someone like him get my dad's company. No way! That overbearing, unbearably, irritating creep? Not a chance!!!

But... there was something that he said that bothered me a lot that kept me awake almost the whole night.

About always getting what I want without working too hard...

That I won't always get what I want...

"HAH! Well, I hate to break it to you, Tom! But I NEVER got what I wanted.... what I really wanted. Never. You don't know my hopes and dreams... and you don't know that I never got to reach them. I'm not even close to getting there and I probably never will at my state right now."

I look over my desk and my old, tacky diary was there. I've written a couple of diaries while growing up, until I stopped when I graduated high school. But this diary, this old blue diary was my favorite. 

Not only was it the thickest and the one I exerted a lot of effort to finish, but because it really held all my secrets. The dreams I wish I could've pursue but never did... and the fairytale wishes I always made everynight before I go to sleep... it was all here. Reading this diary would almost be like seeing me naked. (All erotic thoughts please put on hold.)

I started writing it back when junior year in highschool started, and I finished just the night before Graduation of my senior year. 

It held every secret of my hearts, dreams of my mind, and whispers of my soul.

My diary... the book of forgotten desires.

[End of Chapter 10]