GODSPEED || V.H

013

It was Christmas, and the snow was falling even more  now and the view I had from my upstairs window was very beautiful. It was now the afternoon and I was getting lost in my thoughts doing my own Christmas celebration. We didn't celebrate Christmas, my dad always never failed to ruin the day.. so to stop the disappointment from happening we all just stop trying.

The tiny Christmas tree in my room seemed to be brighter than usual, I know in a few years I'll be in my own apartment. Or even living with Delilah and we will be dancing around in it and I will finally now get the feeling of relief and hopefully that Christmas spirit that everyone talks about.

"Ivy!" My mom yelled from downstairs, I shot up from my bed getting a sense of panic. I ran down to the kitchen to find her serving my dad. My plate laid across from him, the plate was also nicely made. My dad stared up at me in confusion, And I forgot I was still wearing the worried expression. I quickly wiped it away and sat across from him "merry Christmas" my mom said to me.

She seemed so tired and just out of it, it was always the same blank stare. I miss her being joyful, I miss her laugh and her beautiful smile. Now it just seem like she was so lost and numb, it's up to me to save her.

"Merry Christmas" I mumbled back, everyone nodded. My dad turned towards me smiling "im grateful to have a beautiful smart daughter, I wouldn't trade it for the world" he said while taking out a small box "for me?" He nodded as his response. I opened the small box only to find myself staring down at golden necklace, it had a very small rose and in the middle of it was a tiny diamond "I love it" I smiled up at him. He smiled over at me proudly "I love you to the moon and back" moments like these, I wish they could last forever. He wore an unbutton shirt and it slowly opened up to reveal small hickeys on his neck, my eyes widen but I glanced over at my mom to see her eyes soften up even more it looked like she was about to cry... not again.. he cheated on her..

"What are going for?" He asked "lawyer.." "that's pretty big.. you think you can do it?" "Yeah" I say while eating my food softly. I just wanted to get up and throw my food in his face. It hurt to even ignore the damage he already did, I couldn't imagine my mom.

We walked back to the living room watching a couple of Christmas movies. I gently played with the necklace , my parents were on the couch cuddling and I was feeling different and angry... My phone vibrated and it was message from vinnie saying he was outside.

"I'll be back, I have to drop off a quick gift" I said rushing to put my coat on. I carefully rushed outside, vinnie stood out smiling.

"Merry Christmas Vincent!" I held the bag towards his face "merry Christmas Ivy" we exchanged bags "that's a nice necklace" he glanced down "thank you, my dad gave it to me" I mumbled. "I don't think my gift can top that but I hope you do enjoy it" he patted my head "message me tomorrow, we have to hang out this winter break" he waved.

I walked inside taking my coat off. My dad was already giving me a glare, that fast? I didn't do anything wrong..what was for the change of mood? Did mom confront him about the hickeys?

To avoid any arguments I walked up to my room carefully shutting the door. I threw myself back on my bed sighing, it was good for a couple of minutes.. I appreciate every moment and every second.

I sat up grabbing Vinnie's gift, I peaked inside to see a box with the label mom's cookies. I pulled them out, they looked amazing when I peep at them. There was a candle and bunch of other goods, a small sticky note plastered inside saying the next time we hang out he was buying me a plant, he just didn't want it to die in his hands. I laughed but I was also concerned about the plant I gave him...

My door then slammed open and my dad was staring down at me "you're making me look bad" he yelled "what do you mean..?" "That's the second guy who's came to drop you off,  why do you need male validation! Am I not enough" he yelled.

Tw: explicit language, verbal abuse

"They're friends..stop assuming" I sighed "I'm frustrated at the fact that you don't believe me! II'm smarter! I can take care of myself!" "I was a teen boy once, I know they're not your friends! Stop giving yourself up like that!" He kept yelling.

"I know what I'm doing! Stop being a bad dad and let me breathe, I can't do nothing without you breathing down my back, this is the first time I have ever ate with you in years! Add it up, I'm sorry but you're the issue. Fix yourself before I cut you out of my life" "I can care less, you can't cut me out of your life, only I can do that! You get yourself a good guy" "This is more than just boys, I'm at my breaking point with you. You don't treat us well and I'm tired of you cheating on mom! I'm just so tired of you!"

He grabbed my shoulders starting to shake me "mind your business! She deserved it, I hope you get a man who abuses you so you know when to shut up" he said leaving my room slamming the door behind him. My eyes water up, that one stung. I mean considering the fact that I was already starting to fall for someone... each time we hung out the percentage went up by two percent. I would say we were at a 10% but now I'm not so sure anymore. I don't think vinnie would ever treat me bad if we were to ever date but I highly doubt we would ever become a thing.

Just thinking about me having a tiny crush on him made me feel so stupid. If my dad struggles to love me, what made me good enough for someone to love?

Why am I talking so low about myself! I'm better than that, instead of stressing about if this person were to ever give me love, why can't I spoil myself with the love I think I deserve. It wasn't just my dad who ruined the idea of love for me but also the men in my life, all my uncles were always in some cheating scandal. They would sometimes bring their mistress around the family and everyone seemed so quiet about it whenever their real wives came around.. they made it seem so normal. I felt wrong for a bit to think cheating was a bad thing, it seemed so normalize.. but I now know what's wrong and what is right.

Vinnie's POV

I parked my car outside my house, I grabbed the small bag. Poking out of was a new board (skateboard) , it was cute to me that she did add something I liked instead of throwing a basket together. Inside was a cozy night candle I enjoyed smelling and a couple cute other things. She did put effort and I did enjoy every part of my gift..I can't help but wonder about the small question I have pushed towards the back of my head if I was actually developing a crush on her or was it my mind playing games with me..

The next morning I messaged Ivy wondering if she wanted to go out and grab some drinks. She didn't answer quickly so I gave her time thinking that she was still asleep.. until it was five in the afternoon and instead of me doing things to distract myself..

I was thinking that she wasn't interested in being my friend.. or that maybe she's hanging out with Julian and she has me on mute.. while they're on some stupid date and she's falling for his stupid words.. my thoughts were just going wild.

My phone vibrated and I quickly sat up, I grabbed it seeing a message from a random girl. I sighed tossing my phone to the side of my bed.. what am I even doing? I look an idiot just having small thoughts about her.. I feel vulnerable for even falling and trusting a person that quick.

A/N, merry Christmas Eve everyone! Please stay safe and have a good one, I promise tomorrow's chapter will be very much happier.