GODSPEED || V.H

035

IVYS POV

There was a random rainbow reflecting on my closet door. I watched as it slowly started to fade away, I don't remember how long I was staring but I knew it was longer than 30 minutes. I probably stared at for an hour or two, it started to blend more and more with the white paint and soon I could hear small trappings on my window. I glanced over and saw that it was raining.

My eyes went down staring at the messages a bit longer, before deleting them. I could rebuild myself, I can do everything I want in this world. I can use this to grow some more, it might take time but that's okay.

Moments where we acted so stupid around each other played in my head, remembering how he use to call me a brat and how we use to share things. They way we both cringed at times when we were being romantic, and we tease about it on the phone later. They kept playing in my head, although he claimed the relationship wasn't real but to me the love was and everything around it. I can't lie about the love. I just wanted to know why? What made him snap and break things so quickly, it was kinda scary remembering how fast he was to say things, like how he was tired of me.. maybe he was holding that inside? Whatever it is, I hope maybe next time I love someone I hope we communicate better and theyre able to correct me on loving them the language they prefer rather than bottling it all up. I hope its still him, I'll grow and be better.

I quickly dial Delilah, after one ring she answered "hey" "I'm scared to graduate" I blurted out. "What do you mean you were looking forward to this day, the second your mom pop you out" Delilah laughed "yeah but that means we're growing up.. I don't want to get old.. I wanna continue having fun" "old people can fun, there's no age limit to having fun" Delilah quickly responded. I nodded my head, this was starting to eat me alive.

"Delilah.." I started "yeah?" She asked in a very concern voice. "I think I need closure from him, I think getting closure from him will help me feel better" she sighed on the other side of the line "Ivy I'm not sure how your relationship ended, tell me more.. I'm here to listen" "I-" I was hesitating to say anything, I didn't want him to be view as a bad person. I said a few negative things as well, but he was nowhere near a bad person. Yet again he hasn't spoke to me after finding him at some party, and that was three days ago!

"It was a mutual breakup" I lied "okay.."Delilah sighed again "do you remember when I was dating Michael? That huge dickhead" she reminded. I do, I remember wanting to throw his body in the ocean. He treated her so poorly and she deserved so much more. I'm so happy she found Enzo.

"Yeah" I frowned "remember how I wanted closure from him and you told me that it comes within me.." Delilah talked "the peace you're seeking can only be given by YOU. Closure, well in my opinion is bullshit. You accept what happens and you evolve, you wont get it from him. It's just an excuse for to talk to him again, hoping things will change" she finally finished it off with a loud sigh.

"I'm so sorry about the breakup Ivy.. I'll be coming over right now" she said before hanging up.

She's right, but I missed him.. even after that small mess.

I turned towards my bedside, seeing a small picture of Vinnie and I sharing a kiss. Delilah took it for us, my finger graze over it before I flipped it over seeing Vinnie's handwriting.. "I love you forever" is what he wrote. My throat got that stupid lump and I was starting to choke from holding back my tears.

His eyes changed so much, they glowed. What made me want to burst into tears was the fact that I was able to watch his eyes dilate when he would only just glance at me. Was there something I did? Is there something wrong with me? If falling in love was going to cause this much pain, I was better off without it. My heart was already broken to begin with, the first heartbreak was just my dad disappointing me and he knew that.