Mirror of Embers (Book 1)

t w e n t y - f o u r

♧ Lokas ♧

THE FIRE CRACKLES AND POPS. All I can seem to do is stare at it. I stare and stare. My mind is a hazy blur, my eyes are only focused on the roaring hearth in front of me. I gaze into the embers. The fire dances. Swinging and twirling with it's partner in a lovely waltz. Their feet pound against fallen wood. My Bound flickers through my fingers and jumps into the blaze. Little fire people materialize and begin to dance, just how I imagined it. I cross my arms over my chest and watch the performance I have created. My mind begins to scream at me.

I have watched Ember Ryvergrave be in love with you since she was thirteen years old.

It's been playing over and over in my head on repeat since Shann got in my face and told me . . .

I know he's telling the truth, I could tell by the look on Royal's face when Shann said those gods-damned words to me.

I couldn't process any of it. How could I? I had no idea she was—

She hid it so well. I should've known. I should have seen it. My best friend was in love with me and I never saw it. I saw her sister. Fucking hell. I'm a complete and utter asshole. She spent all of those years—

And she never said anything. She kept it hidden. From everyone. Including her sister. Her sister who was in love with me as I was her. Faune and I had never realized anything. We were too busy with each other. We never once saw Ember. How were we so blinded?

I had never seen Ember in that way before. I love her—but not in the way she wants. She's family. She's my sister. My best friend. I can't believe I never saw it. I'm supposed to know everything about her. And yet I do not. Four men know more about her than I do. Her boyfriend knew. Shann knew. I don't doubt Landon or Kamolinn knew as well. All men share some other secret about her too. They wouldn't tell us what it was. But, clearly Ember did not trust Faune and I with that answer.

Stop it.

I bite down on my anger. I'm not mad at her for not telling me. For not trusting me. I'm sad. But more than anything, I'm furious with myself. I was too busy falling in love with Faune to realize my best friend was hurting. That something was going and she didn't reach out to anyone. Ever since Brallen she's been more distant, but I didn't want to push her on the subject. How could I? She was tortured and abused. I could never force her to talk. It would've been cruel. Even though I had always hoped she would confide in me. I had hoped she'd talk to me about what happened.

But she never did.

And I didn't force her, even though I felt like shaking her shoulders and demanding an answer.

It was terrible to see her in that . . . state. Ember was hollow. Empty. She refused to talk to anyone for awhile. Eventually, she came back to the Bastards and resumed work, but she had put on a façade. The infamous Ember Ryvergrave mask. The mask of a survivor.

Gods, I had missed her.

My best friend died when she went to Brallen. Ember never came back. A new, sad, broken version of herself came home instead.

I wish I could have eased her pain. Taken it for myself. Anything to put that smile on her face.

But, then she went to Tennia. I thought she'd have some fun. But she came back different. She looked grey when she stepped off that boat. Her shoulders were sagged. Her posture poor. I had thought she was sea sick or tired . . . I had no idea she had gotten her heart broken. She had been broken mentally and physically. And she never told me. She never let me help ease the pain.