2 (jaylor) ethereal daylight and golden epiphanies

chapter four.

Once the tears started, they wouldn't stop. Taylor sobbed into her moms shoulder. Every single test had told her that she was pregnant.
"Taylor, honey," her mom took her chin and held her gently. "Look at me."
She couldn't do this - how had this happened? She was so fucking careful, so careful to make sure that she was not put in this situation. Yet here she was. She was never supposed to be in this situation.
"Mom - I can't cancel the tour. I can't tell Joe..."
"Stop for a second, Taylor." Her mom interrupted her. "I know that it seems like this is the end of the world, but it's not, honey. This isn't the end of the world. Depending on what you decide, this doesn't have to happen." Her mom was right - she could get an abortion. But did she want that? Did she want that? God, she couldn't think. "But you're going to have to tell Joe, of course you can tell him. The two of you have been through so much together, I know that he's not going to be mad at you." Deep down, Taylor knew that too.
She took a deep breath. "I'm not cancelling the tour."
"You might not need to, sweetheart. Would you like me to go and get Joe?" Her mom asked. She had to tell Joe. There would be no avoiding it. She nodded. "I'll go and get him, and then I'll give the two of you some time to talk, okay? Your father and I will go and have a look around the city. I truly don't think Joe is going to be mad, honey. He's not like that."
She knew that he wasn't like that - and she felt bad for even thinking that he'd react like that. It would be the last thing he'd do.
"It's going to be okay." Her mom kissed her forehead one last time, before she went to get Joe.
Taylor paced through the room.
She couldn't believe what was happening, couldn't believe that she was having deal with this on top of everything else.
"Are you alright?" Joe asked as he entered. Taylor felt her eyes water, and she covered her face with her hands. She had to tell him. She couldn't hide it.
"Joe... I'm..." she took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm pregnant."
The first thing Joe did, without even thinking about it, was pull Taylor into his arms, holding her tightly.
"I'll support you with whatever decision you decide to make," he murmured into her ear. He didn't let go, and she was so grateful for that. "I will love you no matter what."
"But... I don't know what I want to do," Taylor sobbed. "I can't cancel the tour, Joe, but I also... I don't know if I want to... have an abortion either. I want to have a child with you. I really do." She buried her head into him, wishing that she knew what to do.
"If now isn't the right time, that's okay." Joe kissed her forehead.
Taylor slowly pulled away from him. "I don't know what to do... are you mad at me?" She was starting to feel more and more upset. She couldn't do this.
"Taylor," Joe looked at her, a small smile on his face. "Of course I'm not mad at you. There's nothing to be mad at you for. If anything, I'm mad at myself." He sat her down on the bed, and knelt down in front of her. "Whatever you choose, I'll be there with you."
"I can't choose this all on my own, Joe."
"It's your decision to make, my love. It's your body, and you need to decide what's best for you. If you don't think that now is the right time, i one hundred percent understand that. If you want to keep it, I understand that too." Joe cupped her cheeks, wiping her tears away with his thumb. "This isn't my decision to make. But I am going to love and support you either way."
"What do you want to do?" Taylor asked him, her mind spinning in a million different directions.
"I want you to make the decision that makes you feel okay." Joe leaned in and kissed her forehead. "If you need some time alone to think about it, then Patrick and I can go and do something together." But Taylor already knew, in her heart what she wanted to do. She knew what she wanted to do, even if it came back to bite her. She knew what she wanted. And it scared her - wanting that option. It scared her in a way that nothing else had scared her before. She looked at Joe, who was on his knees in front of her, his hands resting on her knees, looking up at her with those ocean eyes, and she knew. She knew. Sometimes the best things come at the wrong time. Sometimes you have to make the choice that feels right to you, when it will hurt other people.
"Joe," Taylor clutched onto his hands, holding them tightly. "You're going to be a dad." She was crying and smiling at the same time, and she couldn't even describe the look on Joe's face in that moment. Shock and love and happiness.
He stood up, sitting down beside her, wrapping his arms around her.
"Taylor..." Joe sighed against her hair. "Are you sure this is what you want? What about the tour and-"
"It's what I want, Joe. I want this with you. I want to do this with you." She pulled away, searching for any signs of regret in his eyes, but there was none. "As for the tour... I'm sure that I could do a few more shows..." She wasn't ready to cancel it, not yet. It would come to the point where she'd have to, but she could keep going for the moment. "I don't know what I'll tell people... but I want to do this, Joe." Her voice was shaking as much as her hands. "I want to do this with you. I want to keep the baby."
Joe wiped a tear away from her eye, cupping her cheek. "I want to do this with you too." He kissed her softly. "But I don't want you to overwork yourself with the concerts, okay? I don't want you to keep going because you're worried that the fans will be disappointed in you." Once again, Joe knew exactly what she was thinking. "We'll find as excuse, Taylor. I don't want you to grind yourself into the ground trying to please everyone else, okay?" She smiled, looking up at him.
"I'll be okay, Joe, really."