2 (jaylor) ethereal daylight and golden epiphanies

chapter twenty four.

Joe felt Taylor's words hit him right in the heart, right at the core of who he was... who he'd always be. He'd known that Taylor had been in that sort of pain before he'd met her, known that she'd been aching and bruised. But did he want to think about the fact that if their stars hadn't aligned, that she wouldn't be here? Of course he didn't. Did it make his heart crack? Just to think of the fact that she'd been about to end her life. He knew how much her fans meant to her, and knew that it would her pain would have had to have been insurmountable, for her to even think about breaking their hearts like that.
"Taylor," he tried to say as he cupped her cheeks, wiping away her tears with his thumb. "My love," he leaned in and kissed her cheek, kissed away her tears. Her eyes fluttered shut, and he kissed the tip of her nose. "You always tell me you love me," he gave her a smile. "And you don't need to tell me, for me to know. You just... you just existing at the same time as me is enough."
Taylor gave a small laugh, and Joe kissed her again. "I'm serious. I love you too. I think you hype up how amazing you think I am too much," he told her gently. "Because I'm not amazing... not like you. No one compares to you. Well," Joe paused, looking down at Thea, who was stretching out her little hands. "Maybe not no one."
Taylor laughed, looking down at their daughter. "I can live with that."
"But Taylor, you really don't understand how much you helped me, too." His smile faded as he thought about the time before he'd met Taylor, the time where he had been living for the moment, unable to think about the next minute, the next hour. He'd been hurting badly, but no one had noticed his pain. Fuck, he hadn't even really let himself notice how much he was hurting. He was, and always had been, the sort of person to push down his feelings, to pretend they didn't exist. It was easier to do that, then to let them all come to the surface.

He'd gotten so much better at expressing his feelings with Taylor, but she was still the only person he'd talk to about what was going on in his head. And even that was hard sometimes, because his first response would be to push it down. Most of the time Taylor had to sit him down, wrapping her arms around him, holding him until he found the words. She never rushed him to speak, never forced him to talk. Sometimes she would just sit there and hold him, and sometimes that was all he needed in the world.
"Don't shake your head," he told her as she did just that. "You know that you've helped me just as much. You know that I was struggling before I met you."
"Yeah," Taylor gave him a sad smile, "and then... then I came along and added more problems to your pile."
"They weren't problems." He murmured softly. "Nothing we've done has ever been a problem." He wished that he could see herself the way that he saw her. He wished that he could see how far she'd come. "You helped me, Taylor. I was drowning in my own thoughts, alone in the city of dreams. I wasn't grabbing coffee because I was arranging my bookshelf. I hadn't just moved into the area... well, I kind of had, but not really. I know I've told you this before, but I know that you don't believe me when I say that meeting you saved my life as much as it did yours," he pulled her into him. "I don't just have these scars for no reason, love."
"It makes me hurt to think of you in pain," Taylor whispered softly. "It makes me hurt to think that you weren't happy."
"But it doesn't matter anymore, Taylor. Because I am so happy with you." He told her firmly. "I wouldn't change any of it. I love you, and I love Thea. I love our family. I love us. I love the fact that we both found daylight within each other. There's nothing more that you could want out of love." Taylor turned and looked at him, her eyes sparkling. "I really do love you."
Joe smiled. "I love you too. And I will keep loving you for the rest of our lives." He promised her, because he knew that he would.

Taylor had arranged for food to be dropped off at the house the morning of their arrival. That was one of the good things about staying in an Air bnb, most of them did things like this. Taylor was putting the food away in the cupboards, while Joe sat on the couch with Thea asleep in his arms. She smiled as she watched her two favourite people sitting in front of her.
"Isn't she just the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" Taylor asked as Thea yawned.
Joe looked up at her, and Taylor didn't think she'd ever seen him looking so in love. He just nodded, before looking back down at Thea.
She took a photo of the two of them, her heart full of happiness.
She finished packing away their groceries, and went to look around the house. It was huge, much larger than she'd been expecting. The entire front of the house that was facing the water contained a large glass window, the stretched pretty much the entire way around. The house was so bright and peaceful. She couldn't wait for it to get dark, for it to feel cosy. There were fireplaces in just about every room, there was a spa on the veranda, overlooking the hills, and a pool a little further down. The house had its own collection of trails attached to it, some that stretched around the coast, others went down the the beach, or to the local town. Not that they'd be heading in that direction... but it was nice to know that there were so many options.
Taylor had been wondering, over the last few hours, if people would know that it was her if she were to go out with a cap, and sunglasses on. No one knew that she was here, so surely they wouldn't. With sunglasses and a cap on, she looked just like everyone else. If she wasn't guarded by security, or wearing big branded clothes, surely she'd look the part. Of course there was her accent, the fact her voice was quite distinct, but she didn't know if that would give them away. She'd read that there was a quiet tea shop down the road, read that it was a quiet building located at the edge of the town. An older lady name Rose seemed to own it, from what she could gather.