2 (jaylor) ethereal daylight and golden epiphanies

chapter twenty eight.

Taylor couldn't turn off her mind on the plane home. She couldn't stop the thoughts from coming, couldn't stop them from taking over. She didn't want to go home. She didn't want to go back to the cameras, to the trial. She just wanted to stay in their little paradise forever.
"Mum and Dad are waiting for us in the car when we get to the airport," Joe told her as he rested a hand on her leg. "They're going to look after Thea while we're at the trial so we don't need to worry." Taylor nodded. In three days, after cramming in filming the Willow music video, she'd be sitting in that court room, telling her story. She didn't want to speak in front of all those people. Even though she'd spoken to crowds of 100,000 people before - speaking to this room of 100 seemed unbearable.
Thea had been the sweetest little ray of light that Taylor could ask for. She was currently asleep in Joe's arms, a pacifier in her mouth, dreaming the night away. Taylor wished that she could sleep, and quite frankly, would rather just be knocked out at this point. She was tired, and didn't want to worry about it all anymore.
She didn't want to film the Willow music video, didn't feel like doing that at all. But now was the only time she'd be able to fit it in, considering the fact that they'd be going back to New Zealand after all this was over.
She'd given Rosa the money, handed it to her. Rosa had broken down, crying. This caused Taylor to cry too, and the two of them cried together. Taylor couldn't have left without giving her anything, without ensuring that she'd be there when they returned.
Her thoughts of what she was going to say at the trial were still all over the place, she hadn't actually figured out the order of the way she was saying her story. She was glad that she'd taken down notes of that voicemail, because she never wanted to have to listen to it ever again.
She wanted to let go of all those haunted parts of her. This was the only way.

Elizabeth greeted them with a warm smile as she helped Taylor get the car seat in the car.
"Oh, she's grown so much already!"
"I feel like I blink and she's already bigger," Taylor laughed. "Thank you for coming."
Elizabeth hugged her, holding her tightly. "Of course. And if there's anything we can do to help, just let us know. Patrick is waiting back at the apartment for us. I think that your mom might be there too?" It didn't surprise Taylor that her father didn't come, but it still stung. She couldn't decide if she would have liked him to be here or not. "I thought that, seeing as your mother will be going to court with you, that it would be nice for you to know she was being looked after." Elizabeth told her as they got into the car. Taylor loved how she already felt like such a big part of their family. They'd just welcomed her as if she was one of their own.

It was so odd to be back home, and the fact that they'd both been away from it all for so long, made the cameras even harder to deal with. Taylor had forgotten how stressful it all was. As Patrick had described, there were people waiting to see her as soon as the car pulled up outside. "Here we go," she said to Joe as she adjusted the muslin cloth over Thea's car seat. He took her hand, smiling.
"You can do this, my love." She made sure that Thea's seat was all ready to go, before she got out of the car.
Deafening screams, cries and yelling overwhelmed her. She didn't even have time to think. She gave them a quick smile, before quickly going inside. She couldn't even remember what the peace and quiet had been like back in New Zealand, had already forgotten that they'd been able to go and have coffee somewhere without all of this.
She waited for Joe and his parents when she got inside, checking on Thea. She was fussing a little, a soft cry escaping her lips, but was nowhere near as upset as Taylor had thought she might be. She was relieved when Joe and his parents walked through the door, and they headed to the elevator.
For the first time, ever, since walking into a New York City apartment, she didn't feel guilty about not taking the stairs. She couldn't wait to get inside, to see Patrick.
Even though she was jet lagged, and in a couple of hours she had to go to the studio to film the music video, she was relieved to be home. Even though she could still quietly hear the hum of the crowd below, it was nice to be back in the city of dreams.