2 (jaylor) ethereal daylight and golden epiphanies

chapter nineteen.

Their days became a routine that was centred around Thea, but neither of them minded at all. Taylor couldn't even remember what she used to spend her days doing, when she didn't have to tend to Thea. Joe had insisted that he soothe her at night, but most of the time Taylor was awake and the two of them would do it together. They'd always end up helping each other, even when they'd tried to take it in turns. Those midnight conversations were the best. When they'd both be awake, both be quietly talking about how much they loved their daughter, how they couldn't believe how much love she had brought to them. Thea's name proved to be truthful, because even though Taylor still ached from the actions of her father, she could still see the daylight peeking through those dark clouds.

Andrea stayed for three days, until it was clear that both Taylor and Joe had it all under control. Taylor couldn't help but feel a little relieved when she had gone, because it was just a painful reminder of the fact that her father wasn't here. But she was a natural when it came to Thea, and between the two of them, between Joe and Taylor, they were going great.
Taylor had done her best to try and forget about it, about what her dad had done, but it was something... it was a feeling that had been simmering away inside her for too long now.

It was three o'clock in the morning, and Taylor was sitting with Thea in bed. She'd never imagined that it was possible to love anyone more than she loved Joe, but then Thea had arrived.
Joe sat up in bed beside Taylor, his arm around her.
"Are you okay?" He asked her through the darkness. Taylor turned to him with a small smile, nodding.
"I'm okay. I really am okay... everything is just so beautiful. Waking up at three o'clock in the morning because she's hungry... it's all just so beautiful."
"I can't believe how many people we're going to have come and visit us," Taylor smiled. "I can't believe that we managed to keep it a secret for nine months. I don't think I've ever had to keep a secret as big as that," she laughed. It was hard for her to look at anything other than Thea, because she just loved her so much. She loved her little toes, her ears, her eyes... everything.
"We're capable of anything," Joe said as he softly stroked Thea's hand. "Who knows what else we can do together?"
"I keep trying to decide when we're going to tell everyone. I don't think I could live with the stress of hiding her for another year or two." They'd talked openly about this subject for days, and they still didn't know what to do.
"Well... do you just want to tell everyone and get it over with?" Joe asked her, and Taylor sat thinking about it for a while.
"What would we even say?" Taylor smiled. "Hey, surprise, I was actually pregnant..."
Joe quietly laughed. "If you want to post about it, then I will support you a thousand percent."
"What if that's not the right choice?"
"They're going to have to find out sooner or later... but I think we should take a leaf out of Blake and Ryan's book and keep her name a secret from the public for a while. I think that the world might actually explode when they all find out," Joe chuckled.
Thea began to fuss, and Taylor got up to lay her down in the bassinet.
"Yes... I do imagine that it might go a bit crazy for a while," she smiled as she imagined how all her fans would react to the news. "Perhaps we should tell everyone." She sighed. "Then we don't need to pretend she doesn't exist. I don't know that I could pretend she didn't exist if someone were to question me about it," she grinned. "All I want to do is talk about her."
Joe laughed, wrapping Taylor in his arms as she climbed back into bed. "I know what you're saying. I think that I could talk about her for the rest of my life and never get bored." He kissed her. "Are you still worried about your dad?"
"Sometimes it's okay... sometimes I can explain to myself that he probably had a good reason to leave," she told him honestly. "But most of the time I'm just so freaking angry because I think that he should have stayed. And I know that's probably really selfish, and I shouldn't feel like that, but I do. I just feel like he should have chosen to stay. He hasn't even messaged me or anything - it's nearly been an entire week. And then it makes me feel like I'm the bad person, that I'm the one to blame." She nuzzled into his chest.
"That's not selfish, my love." He paused, and she felt him kiss her head. "Because I feel like he should have chosen to stay... too."
"Last time he did this - when I decided that I was going to speak out against Trump, he did exactly this. I told him and Mom what I was going to do and he just sat there, and it honestly felt like I wasn't his daughter. Mom supported me a hundred percent, but those arguments were some of the worst that we'd ever had. Sometimes it just feels like I'm an inconvenience to him, you know? And if I ever bring it up with him, or tell him plans that he doesn't agree with, he either says nothing and ignores me, or he'll argue his point." She was tired of arguing. "And it just gets tiring, you know? Trying to keep up a good relationship with someone, purely because they're family. And it really annoys me... because you're expected to treat the people in your family as if they're the best thing in the world... and don't get me wrong, sometimes they are... but what happens when it's them who start pulling you apart? What do you even do then? When you try so fucking hard to be the best you can be, to never be a disappointment to them, but nothings ever good enough. I just don't understand why he's like this. Is he annoyed at me? But the fact that he barely even looked at Thea? Unforgivable."
"It's not just that... that's unforgivable, love. The fact that he's made you feel like that, like he's pulling you apart... that's unforgivable too." Joe held her close, and she sighed.
"I just wish that I knew why." She bit her lip.
Joe held her closely, never wanting to let her go. "You're always enough, Taylor. Always."
"You're enough, too. I don't tell you that enough, Joe." She leaned up and kissed him.