2 (jaylor) ethereal daylight and golden epiphanies

chapter six.

Taylor had made it through twenty six shows this far without any issues. She'd felt more sick and tired the further along she got. Taylor had been trying to keep that to herself most of the time, because with each passing show, her mom would see her tired eyes and tell her that it was a good idea to stop. She didn't want to stop - she at least wanted to make it halfway through the tour if she could. Joe hadn't questioned her about continuing the tour - he had just made sure that she was resting, getting enough sleep - which she hadn't been able to get. This wasn't uncommon when she was on tour, in fact, most nights of the Reputation tour, she was awake until five o'clock in the morning. But she was getting frustrated because she knew that sleep was important, and it annoyed her that she couldn't sleep regardless of how exhausted she felt.
She was going to perform her twenty seventh concert today, and she was lying in bed trying to distract herself. She was looking at her fans social media posts, even though she knew she shouldn't be. Joe would tell her not to, if he wasn't asleep beside her. She knew that she shouldn't either - because it added to the pressure of getting everything right tonight. She was finding it more and more intense. The further along the tour got, the more fans were paying their experiences, the more fans were getting excited because they knew what to expect. She put her phone down, resting her head in her hands. It was addicting, reading their excitement and their reviews of her concert. They were all so excited, and usually this would at least make her feel excited too, but she was too anxious to feel even that. They were all counting on her. She sighed, picking up her phone again. She had to do this for them. They'd been the ones who were always there for her, some from the very first day. She felt her stomach knot tighter the more she thought about it. She was going to do this, for them. She couldn't cancel. It was three hours. She'd go out there, and give them the concert they deserve, even if she's crumbling on the inside. She'd done it before and she would do it again. Her head was pounding - it felt like someone was screaming in her ear. What she wanted, was to get away from all this for a while. She wanted to go for a walk somewhere nice, with Joe. She didn't want to be trapped in a hotel room for another day. She wanted to feel the forest in her lungs and the tree breeze in her hair.
"Good morning, my love." Joe whispered as she quickly got out of Instagram. "How are you feeling?"
"Let's go for a walk," Taylor turned to face him, smiling. "It doesn't have to be a huge one - or even if we just went and sat in a forest somewhere. Let's go out for a bit." She could tell that Joe was about to argue with her about it, but she cut him off with a kiss. "Pleaseeeeee."
Joe stared at her, still half asleep. "Are you sure that won't be a bit much? Taylor, you look exhausted."
"I'm fine! I just really need some fresh air. Please?" She kissed him again. "I just want to get out of here for a while." Joe sighed. He could see the dark circles under her eyes, and knew that she was tired because she always fidgeted with her hands.
"Put some shoes on," he smiled. "Let's go while it's still early."

Taylor felt so much better when she was with Joe, alone in a random forest that they'd stumbled upon. She was holding Joe's hand, and she closed her eyes.
"See? I'm much better now that we're here."
"It looks like it's going to rain," he sighed. "Are you cold?"
Taylor shook her head. She was wearing black exercise pants and a sweatshirt. She was so relieved to be away from the tour and her real life for a while - sometimes it started to get a bit heavy on her chest. She ignored the bad migraine that she still had, even though she'd take painkillers for it, and paused.
"I'm fine, Joe. You have to stop worrying about me! I always get tired around this time in a tour." She knew that - but she also knew that it felt different this time. "You really don't need to worry. I'll be fine."
"Taylor." Joe took her other hand, and stopped. "You don't have to say that you're fine when you're not." He faced her, and the look on his face almost made her tell him everything. She didn't want to make him worry even more than he already was, so she gave him a smile.
"I'm really okay! In fact, I'm actually feeling better today than I was yesterday. I haven't thrown up yet."
"That's because you haven't had anything to eat, or drink."
"I... I had a couple of rice crackers yesterday before the concert..." she told him honestly, and he cupped her cheek.
"I told you that you'd get sick of me looking after you," he gave her a small smirk. "I'm proud of you, love. You're doing so well."
"I am not sick of you!" Taylor laughed. "Thank you," she told him. She felt a bit better when she was out of that stuffy hotel room, but she still didn't feel as good as she was telling people.