2 (jaylor) ethereal daylight and golden epiphanies

chapter eighteen.

Taylor was absolutely exhausted, but she didn't want to sleep, didn't want to close her eyes for a single second just in case she missed out on something. 
Both Taylor and Joe had spent a long time debating what to call their daughter, had spent many sleepless nights scrolling through lists of popular names. 
It was Joe, who suggested the name, Thea. He'd woken up one morning a few months ago, and muttered it out loud. Taylor had heard it, and the name had stuck with them the entire time. Of course, they'd looked to see if there were any other names that spoke to them in the way Thea did, but there were none. Taylor had researched into the name itself, and when she read the meaning of the name, she knew that it was perfect. It was Greek, the Goddess of all things relating to light; whether that be daylight, the moon or dawn. It was the most perfect name for her, considering that she had been one of the things that helped Taylor always hold onto the light. Joe couldn't even remember where he'd heard that name before, he just woke up with it in his head. It was just such a beautiful name, so soft and light. Taylor had always wanted to have her children's names mean something really important to her, and Thea was perfect.
Because she was their little sparkle of daylight, she was their reminder of the good in the world. Taylor had also really wanted her middle name to be Marjorie - because she wanted that to be a reminder of the importance of dreams, the importance of believing in them, no matter how big or small they were. It was one of the most powerful things that her grandmother had ever taught her, and she had held onto it for her entire life. Even though she didn't understand it when her grandmother had told her that on the way back from the beach. Even though she didn't realise how important Marjorie was going to be in inspiring her to follow her own dreams. Even though she hadn't appreciated all those words, all those dreams at the time, she clung onto them now. 

As Taylor held her in her arms, Thea with her eyes shut, sound asleep, she looked up at Joe, smiling.
"She's just so beautiful," She murmured. Joe had stayed at her side the entire day, refused to leave even for a few minutes. "I just never expected her to be so perfect." 
Joe kissed Taylor's cheek. "Love, I'm just so proud of you." Taylor had lost track of the number of times that he'd told her this, but every time, she still felt tears prick in her eyes. 
"You know I wouldn't have been able to do it without you. I'm sorry if I broke your hand..." She smiled, and Joe held up a hand. 
"It's fine, Taylor. I think that you'll find that I was clutching onto your hand just as hard."
Thea was born at 1:13 in the morning - and Taylor really couldn't believe that either. 
It was almost like everything had truly fallen into place. She was meant to be here. She was meant to have gotten through all of those dark days just to be sitting here right now. 
Andrea was sitting on the other side of Taylor, watching as her own daughter smiled down at her baby. "You did so well, honey."
"Thank you for coming all this way to be here," Taylor thanked her. She turned to Joe. "We'd better call your parents." 

Joe pulled his phone out of his pocket and called his mom. 
"Joe! Is something wrong?" His mom always worried too much, just like him. 
"No mom, not at all. I'm just calling to let you know that you've now got your very first grandchild." 
Her mom shrieked so loud, that Joe was surprised he wasn't deafened. "Really? Can I see her?"
"I'll turn on the camera," Joe said with a smile. "Don't be too loud, you're on speaker now."
Joe turned on the camera, and he showed Elizabeth her grandchild. 
"Oh, she's so lovely," Elizabeth had tears in her eyes. "Does she have a name yet?" 
"Her name is Thea," Taylor smiled. "We wish that you guys could have been here, everything just happened so fast..."
"Don't apologise! Oh, she's just the sweetest little thing I could ever imagine."

Joe finally convinced Taylor to get some sleep, because she looked so tired. He assured her that if anything exciting happened, he'd wake her up. Andrea pulled him in for a hug when Taylor had fallen asleep.
"I don't think I've ever gotten the chance to thank you," She said, tears in her eyes. "If it weren't for you, she wouldn't be here... she wouldn't be doing all of these new things. Thank you for looking after her. I couldn't imagine where she'd be if she didn't have you." Joe smiled as he looked over at Taylor, asleep, with Thea asleep in the plastic cot beside her. "Thank you for... for putting up with all of the other... shit that goes on... all of the cameras and the stress of all that stuff. She never admits it," Andrea told him as the two of them sat down, "But she really struggles with that side of things."
Joe gave her a smile. "I wouldn't have it any other way. She's done just as much for me." As Joe was talking, Scott walked back into the room with food. Joe wasn't hungry, and Andrea just rolled her eyes.
"Really, Scott? Could you not have waited? She'll be allowed to go home soon." 
Joe looked back over at Taylor, at how she was looking more relaxed than he'd seen her in weeks. He smiled as he looked over at the two people that meant the most to him in the entire world.

It was early morning when Taylor's papers got signed and she was okay to leave the hospital. She was lucky in the fact that she was recovering quickly. But she also knew that she was leaving earlier in the day because the hospital wasn't busy yet. This would be the most stressful part of the whole thing, and Taylor was very stressed about it. 
Eventually, Andrea had come up with the idea that Taylor would be escorted out separately, and Joe and her would take Thea out separately. 
Even that made Taylor panic, she didn't want to be apart from Thea any longer than absolutely needed. She felt like she needed to be near her, needed to protect her. But she also knew that Thea would be okay with Joe and her Mom. She'd not said anything, but her feelings had been hurt by her dad's lack of interest in the last twenty-four hours. He'd barely held Thea for more than two minutes, had barely spoken a word to Taylor. She didn't have the energy to ask him what was wrong, and she'd found that often when she tried to bring anything up to him, he wouldn't reply, or he'd argue with her. And she didn't want any arguing. 
They were about to leave, Joe helping Taylor to get dressed when she heard her Mom and dad arguing in the bathroom.
"Are you serious? You can't leave right now-" Andrea's voice cracked. Taylor bit her lip and tried to busy herself with helping Joe to put on Thea's onesie. But she couldn't ignore it.
"I have to, Andrea." Taylor felt herself bite down harder on her cheek, as she slowly walked over to the door. 
"You're leaving?" She asked quietly. "Are you not coming home with us?" 
That had always been the plan. In fact, he'd come up with it himself. That her parents would stay for the first couple of nights, just in case it was all a bit overwhelming. They'd planned that months ago. 
"I'm sorry, Taylor." Her dad came over to her, kissing her forehead as if it was going to fix the wound he was giving her. "I have to go."
"Why?" Taylor bit her cheek so hard she could taste blood. "Do you not want to see all of this?"
"No... No. Of course not. I've got work that needs to be-"
"That's bullshit, Scott," Andrea argued. 
"So you really don't want to be here?" Taylor felt tears threaten to fall, felt the happiness she'd felt begin to fade. "I thought that you'd be happy." Her mind was going wild. He didn't love her, didn't feel proud of her. This was the most important day of her life, and yet here he was, walking away. 
"I'll be back soon, I'll make it up to you, I promise." He kissed her forehead again, but this time, Taylor pulled away. She couldn't believe what was happening, how she'd just brought a tiny human into the world, and he was walking out the door. There would be no making up for this. This was the kind of wound that wouldn't heal, the kind of dagger to her heart that she couldn't remove - not without bleeding out. So, she'd put up with the dagger in her chest.
Her mom pulled Taylor into her. "I'm sorry, honey."
"Why? Why has he got to leave?" Taylor asked through tear-stained cheeks. "Was I not good enough? Did I do something wrong?"
"No! No. This is nothing to do with you, honey. It has everything to do with him." Her mom cupped Taylor's cheeks, kissing the tears away. "You did so well, Taylor. I'm just so proud of you!"