2 (jaylor) ethereal daylight and golden epiphanies

chapter twenty nine.

"Scott?" Andrea called out, clearly as confused as Taylor was. "What are you doing here? Hello, Austin! How lovely to see you!" Andrea pulled Austin into her, still glaring at Scott.
Joe had an arm around Taylor, but she just couldn't stop staring at her father. She didn't think he'd want to be here. She didn't think that he had enough respect for her anymore. And she couldn't ignore the danger that he had put her in by releasing it to the public... she didn't know if that was even something that could be forgiven. She didn't want to have to worry about this right now - she had so many other things to be worried about.
A part of her wished that he didn't come, because now she could turn off that little voice in her head that told her nothing she ever did would be good enough. The little voice that she'd worked to conquer. She didn't want to hear it today... she didn't need to hear those words echoing in her head.  Taylor took a couple of steps backwards when Scott tried to talk to her, shaking her head. Joe could see that she was getting panicked - could feel that her hands had begun to shake, that she was biting down hard on her lip.
"Let's go and sit somewhere for a moment," he suggested, and Taylor looked over at him, giving a small nod. She let him guide her to a quiet spot behind a pot plant, where she sat with her knees up to her chest leaning against the wall. Joe sat beside her, an arm around her. One of his hands was holding her own, and she had a head resting on his shoulder.
"You're doing great, my love." He murmured. She was trying to work herself back down from a panic attack, but she just couldn't seem to fight it away. "Taylor, look at me," Joe instructed her softly, and she glanced up at him. "We're going to breathe together, okay? Just like we used to. You can do this. It's just another bump in the road. But that doesn't change the fact, that when you next walk out of that room, you are going to be free." He paused, stroking her hand. "You can do this, love. You can do this, even though it feels like you can't. I know that you can. You're going to get in there, and even though you think you're going to lose your voice, I just think that you're going to find it. You're going to be able to finally let it go." He kissed her temple, before telling her to take a deep breath in. She didn't know what she'd do if she didn't have Joe at her side. She didn't know what she'd do without that constant reminder of that daylight that was going to be ahead of her.
Daylight was coming. She just had to get rid of the darkness entirely, before she could bathe in it.

She sat there with Joe for a few more minutes, until she could get her mind to focus properly on what she had to do. She had a hand in the pocket of her outfit, which was an all black outfit that had been picked out for her. She clasped her fingers around the sheet of paper with all her thoughts, and hoped that Joe was right. She hoped that she would know just what to say when it came down to it.
"Taylor," her mom softly called out to her. "Honey."
Taylor took one last deep breath, before getting up. She didn't want to have to sit in front of that room of people and give her story. It didn't seem fair. She didn't want to see Adam.
She walked over to her Mom, who hugged her. "I don't know why he is here, I didn't tell him to come." She whispered into her ear, but before Taylor could respond, her father came up to them.
"Taylor," he started, and Taylor did everything she could to keep her breathing steady. She had to stay calm, had to keep her head clear. "I messed up, Petal. I know I did." He tried to reach out to her, but Andrea stopped him. "I know that I really messed up big time. If I could, I'd take it back in heartbeat. I guess I'm just mad that something that should be so special between you and Joe has to be shared with the world... I just don't want them to pick apart everything like they always do. If I could take it back, believe me I would." Taylor didn't even know what to think of his words. He'd hurt her so bad, and she couldn't help but feel that he was just trying to put a bandaid over her wound. "I hope that you can forgive me, petal. I hope that you know how sorry I am, and I will spend every day of my life regretting what I did, and trying to make it up to you."
"Really? Scott, do you think that a sorry will make up for what you did?" Andrea hissed. "Do you think that makes it okay? That you will be able to sleep at night with her forgiveness?"
"No - of course not." Taylor couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Of course I wouldn't sleep any better. There's no denying what I did."
"I can't have this conversation right now," Taylor blurted out. "I'm sorry. I have too many things to think about and I just can't - I can't think about all this... too." She took a deep breath, turning to face her father and telling him, "Thank you for coming." She'd never forget what he had done, but she wanted Thea to grow up with a relationship with him. Now was not the time to be thinking about that.