(Completed) Dreams / Yoonmin

13. Run

I was out of breath. I've been running for a while, my wolf form starting to slow down, the grip on the suitcase handle starting to loosen.
I slow down, changing into my human form, laying naked in the woods, out of breath. My heart hurt like crazy, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
How could I have not known that Jimin was my mate? You realize who your mate is through eye contact, and multiple times we've made eye contact, but I've felt nothing.

Maybe something is wrong with me? From my old pack members they always talked about how they suddenly made eye contact with their mate,
and they immediately knew. Why was I different? At the thought of being far away from Jimin, who I sometimes felt shy around,
my heart ached. It tried to take my mind off of all the bad things Jimin did. Tried to convince me he did nothing wrong. But, my brain wouldn't let me.

It reminded me of all the things Jimin did. Reminded me of all those lonely days I had in that cell, wondering constantly what made them do that to me.
What convinced them that I did it? When I first met them they seemed so kind and accepting, but now they seemed so evil and distant.
They acted like I was filth, as if I was never considered their friend before. I now realize how impulsive my decision was, but I don't plan on going back there.

Every night, my wolf howled in pain, misery, and in loss. He put my body through so much pain that my screams became a normal routine for anyone watching or listening. I hated it.
I could barley walk, already deprived of basic needs, I felt as if I would die. I ran out of the food I brought quickly, going back to hunting in my wolf form.
After staying at the pack, I now felt disgusted eating the meat raw. I made a quick fire, and cooled the meat over it.

Two weeks have passed, and I've grown some meat on my bones. My hair is still too long, to my shoulders.
I'm not too pale anymore, and my ribs don't show anymore. Along with Jimin, every night I dreamt and thought about Jaewa too. I thought about how I would get her justice. How would I honor her?
I though about it too many times. I've thought of many scenarios, but they all ended up with me having nothing.

If I wanted to have information and access to things to help me with her case, I would have to join a pack.
It was unlikely I would, but if I were ever given the chance to I would accept it. I dream of Jimin again.
It's the same dream. He's on the cliff, but now I know both people. He's talking to Hoseok, they're talking about Jimin mate.

Does that mean since I left Jimin would get with some random omega girl? That made me angry, but that anger left me soon after. Why should I care?
I shouldn't. His pack treated me wrong. Even if he didn't do anything, that was his problem. All he did was sit around and watch me be mistreated.

Again, I felt hot tears running down my face. I hated it, but somehow it comforted me as the darkness around me was engulfed in silence, the stars in the sky distant and blurry.
Was I not lovable enough? Was my crime so bad that I now have bad luck? Why was I mistreated all my life, and then when one happy thing comes it goes like it never existed?
Do I deserve this? I know my sister doesn't. She didn't need to die for anyone above to prove their point that I was filth, and that my life only existed for entertainment purposes.

Maybe I'm not made for relationships. I felt myself start to slowly fall for Jimin's charms, my walls lowering.
I started to love his eye crinkles, his small smirk, how his eyes shown when talking about something he loved.
No wonder he turned and never looked back. I probably have bad luck like I thought. Maybe I'm just meant to die alone and not hurt anybody.

Silent tears still ran down my slightly tanned cheeks, the sky not as beautiful as I hoped it would be. My chest heaved up and down, sadness engulfing me.
I told myself this would never happen again. I told myself that I would never go out like this again. And yet here I am again, pack less and traumatized.
I wiped my eyes, not caring how my head was probably full of dirt. I sniffled, my nose stuffy from all of my crying.

I got up, my ragged suitcase handle in my hand. There was no point of turning into my wolf unless there was danger.
Since there wasn't, I walked through the forrest. I walked and walked and walked. I never stopped walking.
Three months have already passed, and I never stopped walking.

I looked like a hobo, a dirty and torn suitcase by my side with dirty and torn clothes on my body.
Light sifting through the trees with each step I made took my interest, and I walked in the directions of the light.
I moved my hand over my eyes, squinting slightly as I continue to walk forward. I reach the light, and I realize that I'm at the edge of the forrest.

I look around, and I see lots of houses. One or two trees were present near every house, all of them looking polished and furnished. My eyes widened,
And I realized where I was. I looked behind me, hating what was in front of my eyes. I turned back towards the light,
looking the sun in the eye for only a few seconds. I walked forward, dragging my stupid suitcase behind me with each step.

I was walking towards humanity.

-

Lynn~~