Dreamcrash

Twenty Four: Remember Him

I don't remember Seed taking me back to Dreamcrash. I don't remember walking to the ashes of the tree my brother burned down. I don't remember collapsing or breaking down into tears once Seed left. All I can remember is Dream's voice in my head. 

You can't fix this, Nightmare. You can't change it.

You took everything.

What brother?

Dream died a long time ago.

I stand up. My lower legs are slightly black from the ashes, my skull is wet with tears. I felt cold, hollow, alone. If Dream were here, he'd try to cheer me up.

No he wouldn't. 

I shake my head and try to get the voices out, but they keep coming. It's like there's this fog in my head, obscuring my memory and keeping me stuck here as thoughts I wish I could avoid swirl in my head. If only I had someone I could turn and talk to, like Dream, but I blew it, I lost my brother and there's no going back and I can't change it if only I hadn't been so selfish maybe I could have saved him and we wouldn't be like this and-

"Nightmare?" A familiar voice behind me says. It barely registers in my head, but it shakes me to my senses. I wipe the tears off and turn around. It's a young boy in a plain green shirt and loose black leggings, looking at me with bright and concerned eyes. "Is that you?"

"Yeah.." I say, voice quivering. I don't want to break in front of the kid. 

"Did you find him?" The kid asks, grinning. I look at him, not sure what he means, then it hits me. My head clears up enough to focus on the kid and recognize him as Ari, Dream's friend. He's asking if I found Dream. I look away from his gaze, knowing another person is about to be sad and it's all my fault, I messed up, I always mess up, why can't I just do something right for once?

"Ari... I..." I stutter, not sure what to say. 

"You didn't find him? Well... that's fine! We can just keep looking, and I'm sure we'll-"

"I did find him," I say, voice weak and on the verge of breaking.

"You did? Where is he? Can I talk to him? I've been so worried-"

"Ari." My voice is rough. "He's not coming back."

Ari blinks. "What do you mean?"

"I found him. And he refuses to come back to Star Village."

I sense his aura fade, going from its normally bright bubbliness to a quiet sadness. "Oh..."

"Ari, I'm sorry, I really tried to bring him back, I did. But he wouldn't listen."

"No, It's... I get it. Maybe he's mad and needs some alone time. I bet Dream will come back eventually and he'll be back to his normal self," Ari says, trying to smile.

"No. It's... not like that. Dream's gone. He's someone else now. And he's not coming back." I force out.

"O... oh..." Ari looks sad, then nods in solemn understanding. "Well... if you go talk to Dream again, tell him I'm still waiting for him to return." He runs off. I watch him go, wishing I could have that sort of positive mindset. I thought taking the golden apples would make me become positive, but I still feel the same. I still feel like I'm just in the way, just another problem that needs to be solved, just another mistake. I sit down, wanting to get these voices out of my head. I close my eyes and try to tune them out. All I want is to get away from these voices. Whenever I felt like this back when I lived here, I would curl up by Dream and he would make me happy. God, I wish I could go back and fix everything, I wish I could be with my brother again, but I know I blew it. I end up falling into a shaky sleep, waking up and falling asleep again over and over. In the times where I am asleep, I see dreams. Pen and Patch leaving me. Dream yelling at me. Memories from the village. 

And at the end, it came back. My old nightmare. I relived, in every detail, as if it was truly happening to me, being corrupted by the black apples. Then everything went black, but I was conscious. Asleep, but conscious. A minute later, voices started.

"Boss, I found him." 

"Good. Where is he?"

It's those voices again. I faintly recognize them from a dream so long ago. The first one I didn't know the name of, the darker one was... corrupted me, right?

"You aren't going to like it."

Corrupted me swears. "Of all places... Whatever. Stay here, I want to do this alone."

"But boss, what if the Star Sanses are there? You can't handle all of them."

"They won't be."

"You don't kno-"

"I'm going alone." Corrupted me's voice has a tone of finality to it.

"...Fine. Just be careful, okay? We don't want you hurt."

When Corrupted me talks again, it almost sounds like he's smiling. "Alright Cross, I'll be careful. Tell Killer where I'm going."

"Yes boss!" The other voice- Cross- says cheerily. I practically hear Corrupted me roll his eyes. The voices fade away, replaced by the sound of leaves in the breeze and birds.

"I knew you would come here," says a new voice. It sounds so, so familiar, yet I can't place my finger on it. 

"Shut it." The voice of Corrupted me snarls.

"What? You thought I would just let myself be caught by Cross, Nightmare? You should know better by now."

"I don't care. Why the hell are you here?"

"I felt nostalgic." 

"Really, that's it?"

"No." I hear movement, like the new person standing up. "I came to ask you one last time."

Corrupted me sighs. "When will you learn it won't work?"

"Already have, but people can change. And so can you." 

"Still no." The edge in his voice is a sign he's about to attack this person, but I can feel the other person hold his ground.

"Come on, don't you want to go back?" His tone almost sounds like mine, when I was pleading Dream to return to Star Village with me.

...Wait... Dream?

"No, I don't. You never cared about me, why should I care about you now?"

The new figure pauses, and when he continues, his voice sad yet I can feel him smiling. "Because you're my brother."

My eyes fly open and I shoot up. Brother? Was that... Dream in Corrupted me's multiverse? No wonder that voice sounded familiar... But thinking about other Dream reminded me of my Dream, which only brought a fresh wave of guilt and sadness to my Soul. I look around. Still in Dreamcrash, sitting by the burned tree. Except this time, something is different. I see something by the tree. I walk over to it and it takes my breath away.

By the ashes is a beautifully made replica of a golden apple, carved out of wood, with the word 'Dream' written on it. I touched it and could feel it radiating magic energy. It had a bit of an aura too, a familiar bubbly one. One that says 'Things will get better'. Underneath it was a single gold flower. I smile as tears slide down my skull.

I take a step forward and teleport to the orchard. The flowers are starting to fall off the trees, giving it a beautiful look. I pick some of the flowers up and teleport back to the carving. Gently placing the flowers on the carving, I look around. I'll give Dream some time to calm down. I'll figure out a way to fix all of this and get Dream his powers. And when I'm ready, I'll head back there and I'll bring Dream home, I swear.