Dreamcrash

Thirty Three: Negativity

"No no no. No no no no no no no. That can't be..." I mutter, but the memories in my head say otherwise. Clear as day, as if it just happened. Three watches, smiling maliciously.

"Trust me, I'm no happier tha-" Blackout starts, then cuts off as Three gives him a glare. 

"Oh, but it can." Three turns back to me. 

"You... you tricked me. You said it would help fix things! You lied!"

Three sighed. "You'll find people can never be as trustworthy as they claim to be. And no, I did not lie to you. Blackout is, in fact, designed to do exactly what I told you he'd do. Get rid of all the glitches."

"But- but he's a destroyer, that won't fix anything!"

"You're just looking at it from the wrong perspective. All of these AUs, these glitches, these anomalies, cannot be undone. This unstable Multiverse will crash eventually if the Protectors keep stopping us. And so, if you can't fix something that's broken, why not just get rid of it?"

"Well, we'll... we'll stop you!" Panic drives its way into my Soul. "The four of us will stop you, we've done it before and we'll do it again!"

To my surprise, Three laughs. "You stopped us by luck. Because Pen was willing to risk using a Godmove. Even if he does it again, we can stop him."

He pauses for a moment, as if thinking what to say next, and I remain quiet. If he keeps talking, maybe I could learn what his plan is.

"You've seen how strong Thread is, how he can take down AUs like that. It's written in his very code to hurt, to destroy, to kill. We already have one weapon of mass destruction. So imagine what we can do with two."

Before I can figure out what he means, I feel a sharp stabbing sensation in my chest, knocking me onto my knees, followed by one in my arms. Looking down, I see Blackout has stabbed two bones through them. Two more shoot through my legs, locking me in place.

"Imagine if we had a being strong enough to withstand Godmoves. One that could draw off the fear we strike in inhabitants of AUs."

Three put a finger under my chin and pushed my head up. We locked eyes.

"Imagine if we had the power of negativity itself to help us."

My eyes widen in fear. 

"Take a guess, Night. Why do you think I made Blackout able to mess with your emotions? Why would I, a destroyer, sworn enemy of the Protectors, be so open about things to you, despite you working with the Protectors?"

I know what he means, but I don't respond. My attention has shifted to a burning in my chest, a monster feeding off my fear, waiting to be set free. Three notices and a grin spreads across his face.

"That's right. Because you're meant to be one of us. You're meant to be a destroyer."

I can't think straight. Three's trying to corrupt me, and I can feel it working. I can feel the negativity inside me surging up, taking control.

"So, relax. Let it take over. It's for the best. You won't have to worry about Dream or the Protectors, you won't have to worry about controlling your powers, and you'll get the other half of your Soul back."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Blackout's eyes flash over to Three, confusion on his face.

"After all, it's what's meant to be. Just relax."

It isn't Three who speaks this time. It's a voice that seems familiar but I've never heard before. They sound welcoming, but no, they're trying to trick me, I can't give in, but the fear is overwhelming. My vision is starting to black out and pain starts to build. I hear a crack. Then another. Something covering me. I might have screamed. 

And then time seems to stop.

My head takes me back to the village. Those days I sat, beneath the Tree of Feelings, letting the negativity take over. Even before the crash I'd do it. The villagers hated negativity. They hated me. I just wanted to be accepted. I couldn't control the negativity, I only guarded it. I never understood why they hated me for something I couldn't control like that, but I believed their words. That because I guarded the negativity, it was my fault they could feel those emotions. That I was the cause of their negative feelings. That I was the cause of everything bad.

I was the cause of bad things. But not everything bad.

I think of Dream, alone, because I took his powers away from him. I remember his anger.

I think of the other half of my Soul, locked away inside Blackout. Coated and corrupted by hatred.

I feel the corruption in me, taking over. It offers escape from the sadness, from the pain. It offers comfort. It's tempting. I would like to just let go, to not care anymore.

But then I think of moments with the Protectors. How we'd train. How they didn't mind me being there at first, and even after I got kicked out for helping Three, they accepted me coming back. 

I think of Dream. How we would play and talk. How he cared for me with every fiber of his being. How he'd never stay mad at me for too long. He saw something in me I failed to see. The ability to be positive, to be happy. I never thought of myself as more than a negative nuisance, but Dream saw so much more. 

Yes, I could be negative. Yes, I guarded negativity. Yes, I was the cause of bad things. But that didn't mean I was entirely bad. I could still be positive. I could find a balance between the two. After all, the Soul inside me was half and half. One side negative, one side positive. A balance.

I'm not going to always be happy.

But I can try.

Time returned and I felt a warm sensation spread through me. The pain faded away. As easy as it is to fall into the dark, I held onto the light. The panic and fear calmed, the corruption faded away. I pulled myself up to see Three's shocked face.

"Wh- what? How?! That's impossible!"

I looked Three right in the eyelights. "It's not impossible, you just overlooked something. I'm not just the Guardian of Negativity. I have a positive half too. So although I'm supposed to corrupt, I'm choosing not to. I'm choosing what I want to do, not what my code says I'm supposed to do. I'm choosing to be happy, and stay with the Protectors, and stop you and the rest of the destroyers!"

I took a deep breath in. My eyelights flared.

"MY NAME IS NIGHT, GUARDIAN OF EMOTIONS, AND I'M CHOOSING MY OWN PATH!"

I felt a burst of power and both Three and Blackout were thrown back. Three snarled, swirls of lime appearing in his eyelights.

"So be it. Blackout, kill him."

"Yessir."

Blackout leaped at me and I slid out of the way, preparing to attack. I could feel my powers, strong and ready, and I knew this time, I'd win. I'll get my Soul's other half back. 

I was determined to.

Blackout charged at me again, and I felt something. My powers, balanced. Blackout's aura, full of hate, and my Soul inside him. I reached out for my Soul with my powers, I grabbed it. And I pulled.

I saw a surprised look in Blackout's eyes. But I felt something different. Was it sadness? Anger? Frustration? I couldn't tell, but it felt repressed. Hidden. But only for a minute, because then there was a blinding flash of light. I felt light headed, weak, but I held on to my Soul's other half. I'm not losing it.