Chapter 10

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Instead of being alone mourning the final nail in my romance with Billy, I sat in the front seat of his car, inches away from him. There was a swirl of sadness, guilt, relief, and in moments where my eyes hung on him, lust. It was a ghastly twist of emotions that manifested in what I imagined having an alien in your body clawing its way out would feel like. I kept having to remind myself that this is what I wanted.

"We should go out tomorrow night, catch a movie or something." He spoke out of nowhere and didn't take his eyes off the road. His casual tone bit at me.

"Okay, sure. Want to see if Tim and Tess want to come?" The idea of having a buffer felt alluring to me.

I saw the glimmer of a wince pass his face. "No, just you and me, if you're okay with it?" He let a hand slip from the steering wheel and squeezed my knee.

"Yeah, okay. We should do something with Tim and Tess while I'm here, too."

"Yeah, for sure." After a moment, "I'll check if they're free on Thursday."

"What do you think about trying to cook for your mom?" The thought of having something physical to do was enticing. "She cooks all the time; it could be a nice gesture."

"Do you know how to cook?" He shot me a sideways glance.

"No, but we can follow instructions for one meal, I hope."

"It's a nice idea, assuming we don't give her food poisoning. I'm sure she's already started tonight's dinner. I'll see about Friday."

"Do you really want your own place? Don't you like being close to your mom when you're home?" I asked as I gazed out the window at the passing trees. The fear of Billy's loneliness swirled in my head. 

"I do, but there are times when I wish she weren't around."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you know those times like when you are almost going to have sex with your best friend or are having a soul-crushing fight with the girl you're in love with; it'd be nice to have a little privacy then."

His shrugged words were meant to be a joke, but I winced at the slap. After too long of a moment, I recovered.

"You and Tim almost had sex today too? Man, you think you're special."

"Not funny," but he still let out a laugh. "You're the only friend I want benefits with," he added absently.

"No, we can't be friends with benefits," quickly fell from my mouth.

"Relax, Lil; I was kidding." The gravel of a driveway crunched as the car pulled to a stop in front of a house. As he turned the car off, he added, "I think we both know, I'm not that kind of guy."

I looked up to a modern horror that rose before us. In both size and style, it was everything I hated in one structure. I tried to swallow back my reaction.

"Unexpected," Billy murmured to himself as he got out of the car. He paused for me at the end of the vehicle and extended a hand as I neared. "Thoughts?" He asked as we approached.

"Nope," I quickly responded.

"Mmhmm, that bad."

An overly cheery real estate agent dragged us around every room in the house. She seemed immune to our growing distaste of every passing room. She just continued to clunk through space after space with her spike heels while her blond bob swayed as one solid chunk with every movement. I became fixated on it, wondering how much product she used; was it all mousse, mousse and hair spray? Did she have to shower and wash it all out before bed, or did she sleep on it? It seemed that it would be like sleeping on a rock. I imagined her hair as a detachable piece of a Mr. Potato doll. Sure it looks good on, but you know he pulled that huge nose off when it was lights out.

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